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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think a 4 year olds first ever homework should come with instructions?

22 replies

FlyingDandelions · 22/09/2021 20:02

My child in her second week of reception came home with an a5 bit of blue paper with a shape on in her book bag. I asked her what it was and she said something about her being on blue team. I assumed it was a reminder of what table she was on or something and didn't think any more of it (she has other bits of card that permanently live in the bag).

Today she came back upset that everyone else's shape was cut out and put into a display and hers wasn't because she didn't 'do it'. Apparently it was her first homework and she was meant to draw a picture on it.

She's my first child at school so I don't know if my expectations are off but I'm really surprised they expected 4 year olds to remember what they were supposed to do by the time they get home. I expected that any homework would have instructions/be clearly conveyed to the adults facilitating it at this age.

OP posts:

CottageOnTheHill · 22/09/2021 20:03

Does the school have class dojo or a similar app for parents?

Duckyneedsaclean · 22/09/2021 20:03

Teachers are a bit like hospital receptionists -expect everyone to know exactly what is going on even if they've never been there before.

HairyScaryMonster · 22/09/2021 20:04

YANBU, I get I don't know for every question at the moment. We do have a parent app that has info for parents, so we got a piece of paper and instructions on the app.

Dauphinois · 22/09/2021 20:04

Yanbu. I work in a primary school and spend my life nagging teachers that telling the children is never enough, you have to tell the parents too, even in Y6!

3scape · 22/09/2021 20:05

Do they communicate via some sort of ap? Definitely feedback to the teacher. It's standard for there to be a set of homework expectations, usually online or in a homework book.

reluctantbrit · 22/09/2021 20:06

That's crap from the school. We always got. a sheet. of paper with instructions on it, even if it was just "draw a picture of xyz."

Maybe add a small note in her reading book that your DD is not yet ok with verbal homework instructions and if there could be a way to give them out in writing?

DappledThings · 22/09/2021 20:07

YANBU. Mine is Yr 1 now and homework all this term is just read as much as possible but last year they got a weekly task and full instructions were in the weekly newsletter glued into their news book thing that came home every week.

Original poster

FlyingDandelions · 22/09/2021 20:10

@CottageOnTheHill

Does the school have class dojo or a similar app for parents?

Not that I'm aware of. Unless they've just told my for year old and expected her to relay the information....

There is a school weekly newsletter, which I read. And a class web page that is half updated with current information and half clearly not touched since the end of last term (talk of summer term etc), so I'm not sure what information there is even correct, but I checked and no references to the homework.

OP posts:

Hazel444 · 22/09/2021 20:14

Could there have been instructions but your child misplaced them/they fell out of the bag? Seems strange that her classmates were able to do it. I'm sure everyone else's parents were not psychic so there must have been instructions!

talkalarm · 22/09/2021 20:17

Yep us too, I was lucky that I guessed and then had to Google what on earth I was doing (and then it wasn't collected anyway)

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 22/09/2021 20:20

YANBU. My DC’s primary has the children’s homework on the website with it set out by year group. Could yours be similar? That said there would always be written instructions too (up to Y6) but much better if they were mislaid.

Original poster

FlyingDandelions · 22/09/2021 20:29

@reluctantbrit

That's crap from the school. We always got. a sheet. of paper with instructions on it, even if it was just "draw a picture of xyz."

Maybe add a small note in her reading book that your DD is not yet ok with verbal homework instructions and if there could be a way to give them out in writing?

She doesn't even have a reading book yet. This is literally the first thing they've sent home, and it was just a piece of coloured paper.

I guess I've learned my lesson and if anything else appears in the bag I will ask the other parents!

OP posts:

NanooCov · 22/09/2021 20:33

My DS is in year 2 and if I had to rely on him telling me what to do re homework, reading records, spelling tests, etc we would be absolutely scuppered - it's like trying to get blood out of a stone trying to get any info from him. Our school send out a weekly update by email for the whole year group with reminders and other information.

womaninatightspot · 22/09/2021 20:35

It does sound a bit rubbish communication wise. This is what class whatsapp groups are useful. Our school puts homework on seesaw. I wonder if you've missed out on getting a code or instructions somewhere along the line.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 22/09/2021 20:39

That’s poor.

Angeldust747 · 22/09/2021 20:41

My DD has just started reception too, but was sent home with a printout to set up their Google classroom account to manage homework (so far picture of them and their favourite book). They should either send home instructions with the homework or use some sort of app to communicate

Tiredforfive45 · 22/09/2021 20:50

I think it’s fair to assume that if everybody else has managed to do what they needed to do then you are missing some sort of communication that was given.

Ask the teacher.

Winniewonka · 22/09/2021 20:52

IMO, four year olds shouldn't be having homework! Yes to a reading book to be read at their own pace. There's far too much pressure put on young children these days. From the moment they start school, their senses are overloaded with noise and colour.
In ye olden days when I started in the Infants, there were two intakes per year so you tended to start school the term before your fifth birthday e.g. born in February, start in September, if you were an August child then you would go to school around the following Easter. It was much more fluid in what today would be YR,Y1 &Y2. More able children would probably be learning alongside others at least a year older than them.
Classrooms were painted in calm colours like pale pinks & greens. Little in the way of distractions on the walls, maybe a muted coloured map of the world in a picture frame. Everything was much quieter too and then you were allowed to be noisy at break times.
I honestly don't think we had any homework until the equivalent of Y4. We only had reading schemes in the Infants and you didn't take your book home with you. In the Juniors we were allowed to take a library ( I say library) - it was an old fashioned bookcase - book home.

Noodledoodledoo · 22/09/2021 21:08

This is when the mad class whatsapp groups come into their own - experienced parents help out the newbies.

I do empty the book bag regularly of the random bits of paper to I can see anything new!

Summerfun54321 · 22/09/2021 21:10

Ask the teacher at drop off or pick up how you’re informed about homework or how communications between teacher and parent work generally at the school, sounds like you’re missing something.

itsgettingwierd · 22/09/2021 21:13

I'd also mention it to teacher.

Just in a questioning way. "My dd came home with the piece and paper and all she said was she was the blue team. Did we miss out on instructions somehow if what they were meant to do with it as dd has said the other children drew on theirs and cut it out?"

Then teacher can either say there was and sorry it didn't come home or graciously realise if there wasn't instructions there does actually need to be some!

PumpkinPie2016 · 22/09/2021 21:18

I'd check with the teacher.

If the case is that they did expect a 4 year old to remember then that needs addressing. My son is 7 and in Y3 - if I didn't have information from school I wouldn't have a clue what he was supposed to do!

If it's a case of the instructions being lost somehow then at least the teacher will be aware.

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