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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I take this girl in my car

50 replies

pimplypoppet · 22/09/2021 19:45

We car share with another family to get our daughters to the bustop to go to school. Girls both 13. Friends for a really long time. Their whole family (mum, dad, 2 brothers) have tested positive for covid EXCEPT their daughter who is negative. Legally she can go to school still but the chances of her not catching it from her family in the next few days surely are low? The school have confirmed she can attend and they are intending to send her. I don't want her in the car. I know the girls will hang out at school regardless so should I just take her in the car for the 5 minute journey and get a grip. I feel really uncomfortable with telling them I won't take her and just pi**ed off I'm in this position. Just to be clear I'm not a horrible person, they are great friends, I really feel for them all and I have already offered to deliver whatever food/drink/drugs they'll need in the next few days.
So, am I being unreasonable to not take this girl in my car for the next 10 days?

OP posts:

HeckyPeck · 22/09/2021 20:32

What would be the repercussions for you if you caught Covid from her?

Mrstamborineman · 22/09/2021 20:40

They will be together at school anyway.
Mask on, windows open, sit apart. It’s shit but COVID is shit too, how will she get to school at all?

ScotsMumOf4 · 22/09/2021 20:53

I wouldn't. My youngest stayed negative for the duration of my household having covid but I made him isolate with us so there's no way he could give it to other people (I'm sure there's something about kids can carry it but not have it themselves)

Bhappy12 · 22/09/2021 21:03

If you're double vaccinated and not cev I would take her. If she were to get covid from her family (which is not guaranteed), she'd probably give it to your child anyway at school/on the bus etc. The 5 minute car journey (windows down, masks on) is unlikely to be the cause of anyone else contracting it.

If you're not double vaccinated I wouldn't, simply because if she were to catch covid later, you'd probably have to isolate.

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/09/2021 21:04

@Finfintytint

I would take her. Mask on and windows open. Swab down the seats.

I'd do this.

liveforsummer · 22/09/2021 21:08

I'd still take her at this point. In the back with her window open a couple of inches. You're either immune or you're going to get it at some point soon if you're not anyway. There's no guarantee she'll catch it from her family though. More likely at 13 she's already had it

chillied · 22/09/2021 21:10

I wouldn't do it. I would just have to say I didn't feel comfortable. A (grownup) friend of mine was negative but in a household with positive others and I asked her please not to join us for a regular outdoor activity that week. It's just thinking, so when I go ahead and catch it, won't I think, well I could have avoided that, because I knew they had covid in the house?

DeepaBeesKit · 22/09/2021 21:10

Ask her to sanitize, mask on, window down. Maybe you and daughter can sit in front and ask her to sit in the back. But if you are double jabbed you are relatively low risk. I'm in the get a grip camp, personally.

Hadjab · 22/09/2021 21:13

She won't necessarily get it - over the course of a week and a half, my three kids all got covid, one after the other. I did three PCR tests and daily lateral flow tests over two weeks, I tested negative every time.

JaninaDuszejko · 22/09/2021 21:20

Take her, have the windows open. I wouldn't bother with masks unless you're all going to get face-fitted for FFP3 masks. 5 minutes in a well ventilated car is very low risk and your friends will be very grateful, how else isshe going to get to school? Presumably everyone in your family who can be vaccinated is?

AlexaIWillNeverSayDucking · 22/09/2021 21:28

Why can't the girls walk to the bus stop?

Perhaps suggest this and you might find you no longer have to be driving anyone 5 minutes to catch a bus? Could be a win-win

Quaggars · 22/09/2021 21:35

If it's only a 5 minute car journey, is it not possible to not take your car at all?
Walk it?
I wouldn't feel comfortable either, and I'm double jabbed.

Original poster

pimplypoppet · 22/09/2021 21:44

Thanks all for your messages - really helpful. As it turns out it has worked out ok. I messaged and said that we would take her but would be extremely pinickity about her washing her hands first, wearing a mask, windows open, spraying seats etc...She has replied telling me how wonderfully kind I am but they have decided they will keep her off with them for the rest of the week and PCR test again on Friday. So win win really. I have somehow managed to look lovely and generous and get what I want!
For those asking it's a good 30 mins walk and we'd have to leave for it at 7am down a not very pleasant road so that wouldn't really have been an option.
Thanks again everyone.

OP posts:

Highflyingadored · 22/09/2021 21:45

Someone I know dc 1 got covid, both parents got it (double jabbed) but dc2 didnt.

School said dc2 should go in or its unauthorised. They didnt feel right sending them so said they had a cold for isolation period and they did school work from home.

Personally I dont think family should be sending child to school, if after a few days they still have s negative PCR then chances are viral load will be low enough to not spread and would be safer to be back in school.

This is why covid is still spreading because the rules for those in family homes with a positive case dont make any sense and people can not be trusted to use common sense to keep other people from getting infected

Highflyingadored · 22/09/2021 21:46

Ah cross post. Glad they have been sensible op.

Original poster

pimplypoppet · 22/09/2021 21:51

@highflyingadored - yes! That's exactly how I feel. I would keep mine at home in the same circumstances but it's such a difficult and emotive subject and I have to accept that not everyone feels the way I do. I will feel much better about taking her Monday and think they've def made the best decision.

OP posts:

Original poster

pimplypoppet · 22/09/2021 21:52

Oh and just for those asking yes husband and I are both double vaccinated BUT so are the family in question!

OP posts:

BoredZelda · 22/09/2021 22:00

Swab down the seats.

This part is pointless, but open windows and mask will make it really low risk.

PinkKecks · 22/09/2021 22:22

Does it matter what strangers on the internet would or wouldn't do? If you aren't comfortable taking her, don't take her.

lanthanum · 22/09/2021 22:34

Either take her with windows open & masks on, or say "I think it's probably best if the girls walk to the bus-stop for the next little while." It's somehow less likely to offend if you're not just excluding the other child.

Skysblue · 22/09/2021 23:24

I wouldn’t take her and if she was my child I would keep her gome and tell school to lump it. If she is spending every day with family who have covid, then she is breathing in and out the virus, whatever the test says (and flase negatives are common, read the test leaflet). She’s only allowed to school because of public policy reasons to do with keeping childcare available for the workforce. It makes no sense from an individual health perspective.

DangerMouse5 · 23/09/2021 09:41

@pimplypoppet

Thanks all for your messages - really helpful. As it turns out it has worked out ok. I messaged and said that we would take her but would be extremely pinickity about her washing her hands first, wearing a mask, windows open, spraying seats etc...She has replied telling me how wonderfully kind I am but they have decided they will keep her off with them for the rest of the week and PCR test again on Friday. So win win really. I have somehow managed to look lovely and generous and get what I want! For those asking it's a good 30 mins walk and we'd have to leave for it at 7am down a not very pleasant road so that wouldn't really have been an option. Thanks again everyone.

Result!

WhereIsMumHiding3 · 23/09/2021 18:00

It's lovely to read such a well resolved thread because MNer responses (yahy or nahy) helped OP and she found a lovely way forward

ForeverSinging · 23/09/2021 18:10

Dh and I both have covid but our kids don't. They're off school because nobody can take them. I wouldn't put anybody in that position. We've had plenty of help offered, but no lifts to school and I don't blame them. I wouldn't do it either.

LittleGwyneth · 23/09/2021 18:44

If you do, open all of the windows. I'm absolutely convinced that air circulation is the most important thing you can do to protect yourself. I am a nightmare to be in a taxi with because I make everyone freezing with the windows open.

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