High functioning asd and no interest in a diagnosis.

[coodawoodashooda]

Has this worked out for anyone? Does anyone wish that this is what they opted for?

Yes you are completely right. I agree 100% I am still yet to get a diagnosis (and would if it were easier) but have friends who work in the area confirm they think I am - but I still want to know for sure. my life would have been so very different if I'd known this.

I also think little is known of trauma and it presents as asd where people are more familiar with the diagnosis process.

I missed this earlier comment.

Can you explain it?

Are you suggesting people who have suffered traumatic events will meet the criteria for an autism diagnosis? I may be reading you incorrectly though?

I used to think my issues were down to trauma. One psych talk I went to suggested they could present similalry at times. I now think differently.

On the flip side, growing up as autistic in a NT world and being treated/made to fit in can be a trauma in iself. (Ie being treated as difficult and naughty/ parents saying you're just having a tantrum/punishing for autistic traits...)

Hi, OP. You asked what I want people to believe. When I tell people I'm autistic, most of them roll their eyes. I'm female, articulate, useless at maths, no interest in trains and can empathise on a global scale. So instead, now, I can say 'I'm autistic, I have my diagnosis.' In arenas such as nhs, their accommodations for disabilities then kick in - I can wait somewhere quiet away from other people, I can have lights or televisions turned off or down, if I'm heading for meltdown I can take time out. Having a diagnosis takes the person hearing 'I'm autistic' on a rapid journey from 'Oh, another hypochondriac attention-seeker' to 'Disabled person might be able to sue.' People become more polite.

This is only a meme but it accurately describes my viewpoint.

People are being labelled anyway, a diagnosis helps targetting support and a comprehensive understanding around strengths and difficulties.

@DoesHePlayTheFiddle

Hi, OP. You asked what I want people to believe. When I tell people I'm autistic, most of them roll their eyes. I'm female, articulate, useless at maths, no interest in trains and can empathise on a global scale. So instead, now, I can say 'I'm autistic, I have my diagnosis.' In arenas such as nhs, their accommodations for disabilities then kick in - I can wait somewhere quiet away from other people, I can have lights or televisions turned off or down, if I'm heading for meltdown I can take time out. Having a diagnosis takes the person hearing 'I'm autistic' on a rapid journey from 'Oh, another hypochondriac attention-seeker' to 'Disabled person might be able to sue.' People become more polite.

This. And it makes a huge difference.

A recent train journey where I wasn't able to book a single seat, only one at a table of 4 was turned from a potentially difficult and anxious situation to a pleasant journey in a seat alone - all I had to do was contact the accessibility team. Previous journeys have been hard to the point I often used to sit by the doors in the vestibule for 6 hours because sitting at a table of strangers makes me feel bad. Now the law is on my side and my regular train journeys have become enjoyable.

@Fluffypastelslippers

I also think little is known of trauma and it presents as asd where people are more familiar with the diagnosis process.

I missed this earlier comment.

Can you explain it?

Are you suggesting people who have suffered traumatic events will meet the criteria for an autism diagnosis? I may be reading you incorrectly though?

I mean my kids have to endure a traumatic form of parental power still. I can't change this. It particularly impacts on one of my kids behaviour. I feel everyone would like it registered as asd. I dont think that is the root of the problem.

Im finding this thread extremely helpful. Thank you everyone.

A lot of people do hesitate with diagnosis as it can raise expectation that there will be some sort of support. But there's nothing. Schools will shrug off students even with all the ehcp plans. The diagnosis won't bring any support or understanding from anyone. Young teens particularly might see a diagnosis as some sort of magic solution, but they just get dumped out the other end and then spiral into depression.

That's fantastic op. Thank you.

This is what i meant was fantastic. Not me?!!

Another example is eating out. For years I would nervously peer into a restaurant/cafe looking for the ideal seat. Couldn't find it - actually the problem was I couldn't ask for it. I can't sit in the middle, I just need a seat near a wall. It's so simple but makes my experience better.

When I was a teen these things were not really an issue, so don't be so quick to dismiss a diagnosis for a child who will be affected for life and who's needs will be ever changing.

Oh, and I used alcohol in my 20s because I didn't understand myself. I had no idea why I wasn't quite 'the same'. It helped my try to fit in with colleagues etc. And I was very very vulnerable - I had no idea that I couldn't read people's intentions and was in several bad and sometimes dangerous relationships whilst gleefully beaming that I had it all

@Fluffypastelslippers

I do feel with children its a disservice not to get an assessment.

I feel more strongly. It's a medical assessment and parents shouldn't be allowed to decide. If a child is showing signs of any illness/condition/disorder (excuse the terminology) then they absolutely deserve to be assessed. A disservice is putting it mildly.

If a child is autistic they are autistic whether diagnosed or not. There is absolutely no benefit for the child I'm not being diagnosed.

As someone who was diagnosed in adulthood I know that a diagnosis many years ago would have changed my life, my mindset and made things easier.

This is also a conceen of mine. Can you explain to me what you feel would have been different?

@3scape

A lot of people do hesitate with diagnosis as it can raise expectation that there will be some sort of support. But there's nothing. Schools will shrug off students even with all the ehcp plans. The diagnosis won't bring any support or understanding from anyone. Young teens particularly might see a diagnosis as some sort of magic solution, but they just get dumped out the other end and then spiral into depression.

My experience with my autistic DC is the opposite- they both had support in school before they were diagnosed. I'm in Scotland though.

If your child might be autistic then do get them assessdd. They wont be assessed as autistic if they aren't.

Why don't you want to?

This is also a conceen of mine. Can you explain to me what you feel would have been different?

I have made a couple more posts that touch on this. But the not knowing why you are not the same, because I am not the same. The constant feeling of having to fit in whereas now I am fully able to be myself. I understand myself and I know that I am not weird because I don't want to go do the same things as other people.

I could have asked for small accommodations in various places - work/travel/college and it would have made my life easier.

My teenage years were miserable- I was bullied because I could not fit in. I had no help in school. I was abused sexually by more then one person and I didn't even realise it was abuse until I was 44. I was raped by a man in his 60s multiple times because I left home due to the lack of understanding of me and the problems it caused. I met a man who said I could stay at his, he would keep me safe. He raped me every day and for months I thought we were in a fucking relationship.

I could go on, it I feel that's enough for now.

Knowing I was autistic and understanding what that means would have given me the knowledge and tools to protect myself.

@Meatshake

I felt a lot more confident and secure when I was diagnosed mid thirties.

It allowed me to frame my life as "why haven't I achieved so well" to "look how well I've done with a disability and no support".

I was diagnosed at 29. Your post made me tear up, thank you.

Thats lovely. And a very sensible approach too.

I mean my kids have to endure a traumatic form of parental power still. I can't change this. It particularly impacts on one of my kids behaviour. I feel everyone would like it registered as asd. I dont think that is the root of the problem.

Nobody is going to be diagnosed with autism if they are not autistic. The criteria for diagnosis don't match trauma. The traits and behaviours might, but a diagnosis won't be reached unless those criteria are met.

If there are difficulties with behaviour understanding more about autism and schools having that understanding can make a world of difference. Difficult behaviour is often a child who is not coping and strugglign and to carry on like that is cruel. I think we owe it to kids to find out why they are struggling and support them as best we can.

And what fluffy says yet again x

Diagnosis can be a negative for some people, unusual but it can happen. My DH is autistic but not formally diagnosed. He was assessed in the 70s before high functioning autism was recognised and was labelled as having an unidentified pervasisive developmental disoarder. The specialists who deal with autistic DS have never questioned DH being autistic, it's just accepted as it's so obvious. He won't get it formally diagnosed because it could potentially impact his career. He works in an international field and some countries still see autism as a mental health issue which negatively impacts security clearance.

@PileOfBooks

If your child might be autistic then do get them assessdd. They wont be assessed as autistic if they aren't.

Why don't you want to?

Because i can't see how they could possibly measure it with the ongoing trauma being imposed by the abusive parent. And i know what a mess i was in because of it. I think that asd is a natural 'go to' solution for nit fitting in because more is not known of the many, many other things that influence our behaviour.

@FatCatThinCat

Diagnosis can be a negative for some people, unusual but it can happen. My DH is autistic but not formally diagnosed. He was assessed in the 70s before high functioning autism was recognised and was labelled as having an unidentified pervasisive developmental disoarder. The specialists who deal with autistic DS have never questioned DH being autistic, it's just accepted as it's so obvious. He won't get it formally diagnosed because it could potentially impact his career. He works in an international field and some countries still see autism as a mental health issue which negatively impacts security clearance.

That's massively helpful. Thank you.

My son has high functioning ASD, he's 8, diagnosed at 5.

It has helped his school support him in lots of small ways as they understand why he struggles. He has never heard the term 'autism'. I guess we will have to tell him at some point but I think that can wait quite a while. We do, however, talk about 'challenges' and 'worries' he has and he knows (and is comforted by it being the case) that teachers are aware.

He is thriving and overcoming many of those struggles by finding ways to cope, with support from us and his school.