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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To request parental leave?

37 replies

ThesecondLEM · 22/09/2021 16:51

My Dd is 16 and is really unwell. Has had negative PCR but I'm not convinced. Although she had covid at the beginning of the year, this is worse.

Normally if she is unwell she shakes it off but she really isn't. She is sleeping loads and really distressed when she wakes up. I would usually just leave her home if unwell but she's rarely sick and one of those kids who push through and go to school.

I gave work a heads up that I may need parental leave tomorrow and I have got a message asking me to go in for two hours first thing.

It will probably be OK but if she is as unwell as she has been today I really don't want to leave her at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThesecondLEM · 22/09/2021 16:52

Have spoken to Dr who said probably viral but if no better by Friday to get her seen

OP posts:
nyktipolos · 22/09/2021 16:52

Do you mean an unpaid absence or actual parental leave?

I think you need to give notice for parental leave and it has to be taken in week blocks.

Original poster
ThesecondLEM · 22/09/2021 16:52

I don't expect to be paid

OP posts:
Original poster
ThesecondLEM · 22/09/2021 16:53

That is ridiculous though, my child didn't book her illness in advance

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 22/09/2021 16:54

I think it's called dependants leave or something similar which is why the PP was questioning you.

Take it if you don't think she's well enough to be left alone.

nyktipolos · 22/09/2021 16:55

@ThesecondLEM

That is ridiculous though, my child didn't book her illness in advance
I know that but parental leave isn't really for adhoc sickness.
MajorCarolDanvers · 22/09/2021 16:56

What you mean is emergency leave for dependents and yes its completely acceptable to request that. It is a statutory right and appropriate for this circumstance
www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

Parental leave is different and is booked in advance.
www.gov.uk/parental-leave

nyktipolos · 22/09/2021 16:56

Dependents leave is different to parental leave.

I think you mean that?

YouMeandtheSpew · 22/09/2021 16:56

Yes, there’s emergency dependents’ leave and parental leave. Both are unpaid but the latter typically needs to be booked in advance and taken in week blocks.

MajorCarolDanvers · 22/09/2021 16:57

Although to be fair I don't think it is unreasonable to leave a 16 year old for 2 hours unless she is critically unwell.

SaintDrogo · 22/09/2021 16:59

In our organisation it would be classed as carers leave- we get 5 paid days per year, and can be used for elderly parents as well as children or partners if they were really ill. Parental leave is a different thing, and only available for children up to the age of 14 as far as I’m aware. Anyway, YANBU- seems she is really ill and I wouldn’t want to leave my child like that, regardless of their age.

FellInLoveWithABanana · 22/09/2021 17:01

She’s 16, not 6!

Original poster
ThesecondLEM · 22/09/2021 17:24

And?

OP posts:
RandomMess · 22/09/2021 17:33

She is only 16 and very unwell and distressed.

I was left at home like that at 17 one Boxing Day and had to call the GP out. Not good! Would have rather not been home alone.

RoseGoldGlasses · 22/09/2021 17:34

Surely for 2 hours she will be ok?

girlmom21 · 22/09/2021 17:37

She's sleeping loads, is waking up distressed and is worse than she was when she had Covid and people think OP should leave her on her own at 16?

It's pretty scary to be that poorly...

Sirzy · 22/09/2021 17:40

Is there someone else who can sit with her for that two hours? And If so is your work the kind where two hours means two hours not “and while your here….” Hours?

In that case I would do the meeting then come home but otherwise if no better then stay with her

Pythonesque · 22/09/2021 17:43

I think, at 16 she should be able to be left home ill for a couple of hours - though you need to be able to be clear with your work, if necessary, that you can't stay longer than X.

If you feel she is too unwell to be left even for that long in the morning, then I'd say she probably needs to be seen by someone tomorrow.

Fingers crossed she's ok overnight and can manage in the morning.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 22/09/2021 17:46

I would want to stay with her. DD’s friend (12) had a fit with a cold that would have been very dangerous if she’d been alone. I know your Dd is older but if she had a fit it wouldn’t make a difference. This was because she was sodium deficient due to not eating.

RedHelenB · 22/09/2021 17:50

@FellInLoveWithABanana

She’s 16, not 6!
This. She'll probably sleep while your at work. Leave her with a drink and paracetamol and she'll be fine. She'll have a mobile phone no doubt for any emergencies.
Dizzydaisy33 · 22/09/2021 18:39

Have you checked her glands?glandular fever is common at that age can be ruled out by a blood test at the gp.
Sleeping is a common side affect

WoozySnoozy · 22/09/2021 18:41

I think you have to give notice for parental leave. And they can say no and give you alternative dates.

Bedsheets4knickers · 22/09/2021 19:15

I thought it was up to the age of 12

dementedpixie · 22/09/2021 19:23

@Bedsheets4knickers

I thought it was up to the age of 12
Parental leave is up to age 18 but that doesn't matter because its unpaid dependants leave that she is wanting to take
Original poster
ThesecondLEM · 23/09/2021 07:59

Well neither of us have gone into work, waiting on a call back from 111 as dd woke up with a severe headache and she can't lay down.

OP posts: