I'm having an awful time of it with my ex-partner and wondered if anyone could give some advice.
He works shifts and these change from week to week and month to month. There is no regularity. We agreed that our child would spend one night a week with him and that I would work this around his shift work as of course, he can't help being at work.
Now though, it's just taking the p*ss. He not only expects me to fit his night in around his work but his social life too. It's getting beyond a joke. Last week for example he had all weekend off but didn't want child (aged 9) staying over then, instead opting for a week day night and therefore seeing him for only a short period, once he'd picked him up from his after school football club.
I've tried to be accommodating as best as I can but it's just not working. The different day each week is bad enough (and unsettling for our child as he likes a set routine) but to throw in the fact that ex-partner pretty much disappears off for days at a time with no phone contact is making things really hard work.
Ex-partner and I agreed set times in the week for video calls too but half of the time he ignores the agreed time, phones on different days, different times etc etc.
I know this might sound trivial but there's just no consistency at all. This week he forgot to collect him from school after he'd been away all weekend. I went to collect him in the end, smoothed it all over, reassured him that Dad and "just been stuck in traffic" (he hadn't) and did a family call together so he could see everything was 'okay'.
Put simply I feel I'm being taken advantage of. I'm trying so hard to be flexible that now I feel like a doormat... him sending me a few "available days" and expecting me to slot in around that.
Please has anyone got any advice or been in a similar situation? I know I need to be flexible but I feel like I'm not getting anything in return as ex-partner just slags me off when I try and talk to him about it, claiming I'm "controlling access".