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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just hate going to work?

24 replies

MrsRobbieHart · 22/09/2021 08:49

I’m alright once I get there. I like my work, it’s cleaning, (even if I am clock watching and just thinking about being home again) but I absolutely hate the thought of going to work every morning. I have a late start today and I’m spending it dreading going to work! Instead of enjoying my easy morning I’m sitting with a cloud of dread over me. I’ve always been this way. I used to think it was the specific job but it’s clearly not. It’s just me. I’ve managed to make my work as “me” suitable as possible- I’m self employed, I decide my own hours, which jobs I take on, what time I start, my own holidays, I work alone. There’s not much more that I could do to make my work a more pleasant prospect. I just don’t want to leave the house. I want to stay at home. How can I stop feeling like this? Can I? Does anyone else feel this way?

OP posts:
ssd · 22/09/2021 08:50

Yep. I'd rather not work than work. I don't really enjoy my job. I should have married a rich man. Ho hum.

Mischance · 22/09/2021 08:50

Do the lottery!? Smile

Is it just that you do not like being tied to having to go to work - any work - or are you anxious simply about going out?

Buggerthebotox · 22/09/2021 08:52

I'm the same. I don't know what the answer is, tbh.

I actually like my work, but I know the job is not achievable for reasons beyond my control. So for me it's a control issue - I understand why I feel like I do, at least.

Have you talked your issue through with someone? Sounds miserable.

Original poster
MrsRobbieHart · 22/09/2021 08:55

I should have married a rich man. Ho hum.

Grin

Is it just that you do not like being tied to having to go to work - any work - or are you anxious simply about going out?

I’m not sure tbh. I’m a real introvert and home bird but I don’t get anxious being out of the house. Actually that’s not true, I get a bit anxious if I’m attending a social event where there will be people I’m not familiar with but with work I often don’t see anyone and the ones I do see, I know and they stay out of my way.

I have a part of my work I do at home and that’s the ideal for me. I could do that all day every day no problem. I’ve really tried to push that aspect of the business but it’s nowhere near enough income to do it solely.

OP posts:
Buggerthebotox · 22/09/2021 08:57

Meant to say that as you've taken as many steps as possible to make your working life as pleasant as possible there could be something else going on. Agoraphobia?

On the other hand, it could be that you hate work and this, I think, applies to many of us regardless of the demands of the job!

I've kind of reached the conclusion that any kind of work is unpleasant to an extent - otherwise it wouldn't be work!

Original poster
MrsRobbieHart · 22/09/2021 08:58

Have you talked your issue through with someone? Sounds miserable.

I’ve started to realise I am miserable. My life seems to centre around work, planning it, and worrying about it and thinking about just not going- that’s everyday tbh. Grin I often hear myself saying “I hate my job” but I don’t, I like the actual work. Im not sure what it is I hate. But I keep finding myself saying it.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsRobbieHart · 22/09/2021 09:05

My lovely old dog died in December and I figured one good thing about that is that I would find it easier to leave the house for work, I wouldn’t have this lovely cuddly thing giving me the please stay eyes, and I wouldn’t have lovely beach walks I’d rather be doing. There would be nothing at home to interest me so I wouldn’t want to stay. But it turns out it just meant I was miserable all the time rather than just when work was involved.

OP posts:
ArabellaStrange · 22/09/2021 09:14

Work is a four letter word and I hate it muchly. It's better now I work from home but still a total drag.

SturminsterNewton · 22/09/2021 09:16

Did you feel this about going to school? Is it a hangover from school days?

FizzyPink · 22/09/2021 09:18

I do actually enjoy my job and my colleagues are all lovely and we have fun together on the days we’re in the office but I 100% would choose to not work if I could. It’s not something I’m ever going to look forward to.

Original poster
MrsRobbieHart · 22/09/2021 09:20

@SturminsterNewton

Did you feel this about going to school? Is it a hangover from school days?
I don’t think so. I liked secondary school, I had friends, wasn’t very academic but I muddled through.

The first time I experienced an issue is when I got my first proper job after college and I found myself sitting in the car outside work trying to talk myself into getting out of the car and going in. Occasionally I would ring my boyfriend in tears and get him to talk me through the process of going into work. Sometimes I would give up and drive back home. This happened a lot with that job. It wasn’t an awful job. There was one woman there who was horrible to me but everyone else was nice so I don’t think it was to do with her.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsRobbieHart · 22/09/2021 09:22

And even with that job, on the days I was in tears before going in, I was totally fine once I was there.

OP posts:
TooWicked · 22/09/2021 09:26

I could have written your post myself. I make myself do early mornings so I’m done by about 3pm. I’m the same with a late start, I don’t enjoy the morning as I just want to get work done and out of the way so I can relax.

So I’ll follow this thread for any tips.

Original poster
MrsRobbieHart · 22/09/2021 09:30

@TooWicked I tried that too. I figured if I started early then I wouldn’t even have time to think about whether I wanted to go or not. I booked all my work to start at 8:00 (earliest I could start) and found I was always running late, forgetting things, missing breakfast so bloody starving. And also stupidly, decided an early start meant I could book more work in at the end of the day so I wasn’t finishing early after all! Hmm so I had to knock that on the head. I start at 9, have a scheduled lunch break and finish at 5 at the latest.

OP posts:
ssd · 22/09/2021 09:33

I felt exactly like this about school. I wanted to get back to the safety of home asap.

LastGirlSanding · 22/09/2021 09:34

I think even when you love your job there can be that resentment at the relentlessness of it, always having to go, always something that needs doing. Holidays are great but they don’t make up for always needing to do these tasks that we all must do each day during a normal week.

Sweetchocolatecandy · 22/09/2021 09:41

I feel exactly the same. I’m on a late start today and I’ve already got that knotted feeling of dread in my stomach- the difference with me though is that I do actually hate my job! No advice but just wanted to let you know you’re not alone in the way you feel.

Battleoftheislands · 22/09/2021 09:58

YANBU OP, I've always been similar in any job I've had.

I WFH now full time and don't really get this now tbh. I am just a real homebody and actually, what a previous poster said up thread about it being hangover from school days resonated with me. I hated going to school, wasn't bullied or anything and had friends but I much preferred to stay at home with my mum and dog.

I'm a pretty sociable person and really enjoy socialising and having fun at weekends, I'm not that arsed about doing anything after work though during the week. I think I just have an aversion to leaving the house Mon- Thurs Grin (Fri evenings I'm always up for doing stuff)

I would really recommend you applying for some remote, WFH roles (There are so many more now since Covid) WFH has massively reduced my anxiety about going to work and I'm the happiest I've ever been in terms of work.

garlictwist · 22/09/2021 10:15

Oh God, this is me. I massively resent work and wish I didn't have to do it. All those people who say they'd still work even if they won the lottery? No chance. I was furloghed for a bit in the lockdown and I loved it. I didn't get bored once - just felt really relaxed and happy for the first time in years.

I've tried loads of jobs and it's always the same so I think it's just me.

Kneller92 · 22/09/2021 10:24

I think lots of people feel this way so you're definitely not alone OP. I think there is a job for everyone though and maybe you could think about possible careers changes that would make you look forward to work more (or at least have a better tolerance for it).
I used to feel how you do but when I changed career I found I actually quite enjoy going to work as I feel valued, useful and a part of a team. Also the hours I do suit me more now which helps with enjoyment of the job I think.

inmyslippers · 22/09/2021 10:26

I work to live. I'm never going to work with a spring in my step. It's a mean to an ends. What's the rest of your life look like? Hobbies, interests? What do you look forward to

TooWicked · 22/09/2021 10:40

I’ve definitely felt like this after a couple of years in every job I’ve ever had. I know if I changed jobs I’d be feeling the same again in a year or so.

The job I do now is the one I’ve stuck at the longest because I have realised that it’s “same shit different day/job” - but at least I’m being paid very well for this one and I’m self employed so I’ve eliminated a lot of the shit stuff.

I just need to win the euro millions.

Original poster
MrsRobbieHart · 22/09/2021 13:35

Lunch break.

Very glad to hear it isn’t just me. Euro Millions sounds like a plan! Grin

What's the rest of your life look like? Hobbies, interests? What do you look forward to

Not much else going on tbh. I have DC and one or two close friends I don’t see often. No partner. There isn’t really spare money for hobbies. I look forward to weekend mornings when there will be no 7am alarm clock. That’s about it really.

OP posts:
Mermaidwaves · 22/09/2021 13:51

I'm the same, I get anxiety before shifts and I remember feeling the same before school. I'm usually OK once I get there but it's the thought of it I dread. It helps that I work shifts and not monday to friday 9 to 5, that would be the worst! 😱

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