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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Strangers giving my child food in the park?

19 replies

fashu · 21/09/2021 20:06

My son is in the park right now. He went with my mum who is new to the country so hasn't been looking after him much.
I was just picking up a prescription and then followed them. When I got there she said that another mum had fed my son something from her bag.....
She was giving it to her own son food but still.
AIBU thinking strangers shouldn't feed other kids?

OP posts:

laalaaland · 21/09/2021 20:11

That's just weird. I'd always ask the adult with them first. Always.

People just often want to be kind without thinking about allergies, choking hazards, etc etc.

We lived in abroad when my son was small and I was constantly having to fend off inappropriate food gifts to my son from well-meaning strangers...like round hard boiled sweets to an 18m old?! Who thinks that's a good idea!? The best was a shop assistant offering him a similar sweet...which also turned out to have chewing gum inside...he wasn't even 2!

ThreeFeetTall · 21/09/2021 20:12

Another mum shared a snack her child was having with your child? Sounds ok but I guess she should have checked because of allergies etc

PumpkinKlNG · 21/09/2021 20:16

This happened to my child, a man was feeding his daughter grapes and my child was stood behind her waiting to use the slide, when she went down my dd went up and the man tried to hand her one. I was really shocked, these were uncut grapes and my daughter was 3, not to mention the fact you just shouldn’t offer strangers children food anyway! Also had a woman offer my son some peanuts when he was a baby 🙄

WoozySnoozy · 21/09/2021 20:19

It was probably well intentioned but sends mixed messages re accepting food from strangers.

Mustangdally · 21/09/2021 20:21

I mean, I wouldn't be thrilled about it, but I wouldn't be precious about it either. It's just misjudged kindness.

ChaosMoon · 21/09/2021 20:22

This has happened to me a few times, although for the most part the parents have checked with me first. The one that really shocked me was the random old lady who gave DD2 her first ever Mars Bar. At 5pm. Needless to say, she ate very little dinner and was a nightmare to get to bed!

dottypencilcase · 21/09/2021 20:27

I've often had toddlers stare at my DC when they're having snacks at the park. I usually ignore but if they're struggling to move on, I ask the parent if their LO would like a banana, satsuma, crisps, etc. (I always carry extras and only offer covered food).

CatOfTheLand · 21/09/2021 20:29

The opposite happened to me once: my then almost-two-year-old DD offered a random man a pork pie she was carrying in her sweaty little hand - AND HE TOOK IT AND ATE IT!! Just as quick as a flash! He was a normal-looking trendy kind of guy with a wife and newborn baby.

Hope he gags now he's got a toddler and realises what that pork pie had probably been subjected to 🤢🤮

Ohdoleavemealone · 21/09/2021 20:38

@CatOfTheLand

Hope he gags now he's got a toddler and realises what that pork pie had probably been subjected to 🤢🤮

That is hilarious!

Original poster

fashu · 21/09/2021 22:01

Completely agree with everyone saying it was probably just a kind thing, that's what I meant by she was feeding her child too, but I was just shocked that you would feed another child without asking their parents. Obviously if my son is handed anything its already in his stomach in less than a second
However it does make me worried for my youngest who already has allergies. Will have to keep a look out

@CatOfTheLand oh my gosh, how could you take a kids food

OP posts:

Vodka1 · 22/09/2021 19:00

About 7/8 years ago we was at the local park at lunch time, had a portion of chippy chips and a savaloy each. Kid no older than 5 stood there staring at us.

I said 'ask your parent if you are allowed a chip if you want one'

He looked so happy, he ran off to his mum who then walked over to me (panic!!) Sat down with us at the picnic bench and said thank you thats really kind. And started eating our chips too 😂😂

To this day i have no idea why she did it, what the kid said to her, or how my face must of looked at the time. But i cherish the memory like crazy.

After we finished the kids played for a bit and we both left the park at the same time and I've never seen her again.

Original poster

fashu · 22/09/2021 21:19

@Vodka1 ahh that's a lovely story. You asked and that was most important.

OP posts:

StinkingCold · 22/09/2021 21:49

Happens all the time in our local park! I've probably done it myself!! Parents give biscuits to their child, another child is hanging about looking desperate to also have one, so parent offers them one too and they take it.

Doesn't seem a big deal to me.

HappyMeal564 · 22/09/2021 22:23

Massive deal to me. My son has life threatening allergies but isn't big enough to understandthat yet. Of course I watch him but I'd also really hope other parents would ask and not just hand him food without checking

avamiah · 22/09/2021 22:31

I’m 50/50 on it to be honest but she was feeding her own child so it’s not that bad but if it was just a person who decided to give my child some food it’s a totally different story but from a young age I have told my daughter who is now 11 to not take anything off a stranger or talk to a stranger and thankfully she never has.

I think the lady was being kind to be honest.

Hollywolly1 · 22/09/2021 22:40

The lady thought she was being kind but these days allergies are more common and a child could have an allergy and the tiniest bit of wrong food could be fatal

Skysblue · 22/09/2021 22:56

Ugh that isn’t ok. My nephew is allergic to wheat we don’t need someone feeding him a biscuit.

Brollywasntneededafterall · 22/09/2021 23:01

Once sat at dd's swimming lesson holding a toddler ds - a similar age Indian boy handed ds some raisins... This became a regular thing. Neither dc spoke and the dm spoke no English but we all enjoyed the half hour sat together.. Was quite lovely tbh and ds looked forward to going swimming instead of previously complaining!

Siameasy · 22/09/2021 23:05

Since kids often turn up at the slightest rustle of a packet, I always ask the parent or get the child to ask their parent in my earshot
Kids do share things with others-I’ve told my daughter to check but I’m sure at times she doesn’t.
My DN has a peanut allergy so we only bring nut safe items anyway but my poor DSIL saw another kid offering out peanuts which I don’t think is safe.

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