To Want To Change (Shorten) Our Surname?

[DrillHammerChisel]

We (me, DH & the DC) all have the same surname - when I married DH I took his, willingly. I wanted to and am quite traditional and I didn't think much of it... even though it is an unusual and quite comical name!
I'm now having slight second thoughts, mainly because everyone spells it wrong and I'm sick of correcting people! It is also quite long (3 syllables) and like I said, is rather amusing to some.
Think along the lines of Longbottom.
AIBU to change it (for all of us)? I'd basically just shorten it - so we'd be the Long family instead of the Longbottom family.
Would this be an odd thing to do? Do you know anyone that has done similar? What are your thoughts?
DC are all primary aged if that makes a difference.
Thank you!

By the way, should have said, I've (aptly) named changed for this! But am a long time MNetter :)

Well, that was a deeply silly decision, wasn’t it? Though interesting to hear from someone whose husband’s surname wasn’t a nice one, as threads about changing your name on marriage are always thronged with posters who claim to have loathed their own birth surnames and adored their husband’s short, nice surname.

In your shoes, I would go back to my birth surname and have the rest of the family use it too. Or the children at least. I assume your husband has some attachment to his birth surname, as otherwise surely he’d have discouraged you from adopting it in the first place?

People get your name wrong whatever it is. My surname is quite straightforward but it's been spelt and pronounced in ways I couldn't believe over the years. I was once even asked if I was sure of the spelling

So simplifying won't necessarily make life easier. I'd stick with it, but if it'll make you all happier then it shouldn't be that big a deal, apart from changing everything which has your present name on it.

I think you need to consult with your family (your DH and DC) and do some research on the implications of name-changing, alerting public bodies, pensions orgs, etc. I've never changed my name and can't even begin imagine what a massive faff it would be to change passports, driving licences, pension records, medical records, etc. 😱

I believe you can do it either by common usage or deed poll, and deed poll is preferred by officialdom because it gives you a certificate.

So dunno really. What will your DH think?

I wouldn't say it was a deeply silly decision, I guess I just didn't think enough about it. Like I said, I'm traditional and it's tradition to take your husband's name. I didn't think much past that (rightly or wrongly).

I wouldn't go back to my maiden name, I'm not overly enamoured with that either, and I think going for a shortened version of the current name is a good compromise and less hassle (it would sound very similar).

Don't think my DH has strong opinions either way, to him it's just a name.

@campion, I know! My surname is so simple, one syllable, like 'Brown', and people ask me how to spell it, or write it down as the equivalent of 'Brone' or 'Bron'. It just happens that some people can't quickly put a sound into writing - they don't process things that fast.

Well, OP, if your DH isn't bothered, and as a couple you feel like you could both manage and afford the paperwork, there's nothing really stopping you.

Yes, you can do it by Deed Poll quite easily and cheaply I think.
The hassle would be changing names on everything!! But I've done that before (obvs - when I got married!)... and obviously people do it all the time with marriage, divorce etc.

Maybe it isn't just the spelling (though that is annoying!), maybe its the name itself... People always comment on it, saying it's unusual, even laugh... It's just a bit draining sometimes I guess.

I was at school with someone called “Little” , there were 4 kids and I knew them all for many years.
It wasn’t until our school reunion 15 years after we left that I found out it was something slightly different which could sound a bit rude if you were under 18 or immature (or both). Not even the kids closest friends knew so it is possible.

Sorry, I should have said the person I knew uses his real name these days so they must never have officially changed it, just used the alternative

There are some names that should have been allowed to die. No good reason for someone to have the surname Hoare or Smellie.

I think your idea is a good one. You're not completely changing the name you're just abridging it to an easier one.

Maybe it isn't just the spelling (though that is annoying!), maybe its the name itself... People always comment on it, saying it's unusual, even laugh... It's just a bit draining sometimes I guess.

OK, I get you. People can be very tedious sometimes. Like they think they're the first person ever to ask you a 'funny' question about your name or appearance or job.

I know a Mr Organ from work, and I dread to think how many times he's had the 'banter'.

You could just start using a shortened version, without the rigmarole of doing a deed poll change and updating everything official. I.e change your email signature (and ask work to change your email) to X.long@companyname, change your social media if necessary and just live as if that were your name.

I have an unusual first name, and a lot of people outside of our city think our surname is unusual too (The surname is common here, but seemingly not elsewhere). It's so tedious having to spell it out every time, and people are so quick to assume the spelling that they don't really listen and get it wrong even when I've spelled it out! I feel your pain, OP!

Change it by deed poll, kids are at a good age to do it and it's easy to change on all docs etc as it would be if you got married.

You will always have to spell out surnames, but Long would be easier and a loss less hassle than Longbottom

I am one of those posters who was happy to take their husband’s name to get rid of a comedy one. Life is SO much easier! I would change it OP, if your husband is up for it too.

If your going to change it change it something cool.

@Hoppinggreen Tittle?

How old is your child?
Would you DH’s family be offended?

I imagine people who are that way inclined would just talk behind your back… oh look the Higg family formerly the Higgingbottoms teeheehe.

We have a ridiculously long name but we just use a shorter one for everyday school and work and just the long proper one for official documents . I wouldn't change it but just have made our own shorter working version

Just leave it, I have the most basic surname ever and I still have to spell it.

People spell our surname wrong too and it’s literally 4 letters.

I know someone who changed their surname. She added a bit on to a very common name to make it a bit different. It was easily done.
I would change yours, OP, it will make you happier in the long run. And changing official things will get sorted.

I know a family of Pratt’s who changed to Platt. Most people don’t realise. It’s a change that works for them. Lots of comments at first but it quickly became old news.

None of us could understand why our married friend had taken her husbands name, (something like longbottom) until she said her maiden name was Hiscock.

It all made perfect sense, though a whole new name might have been a better option!