to not bother even making an effort next time...

[ArmadilloDaMan]

ok so the mums at ds preschool all seem to know one another and I don't know anyone.

Never been spoken to, but people often in rush to collect/drop-off and difficult to speak to people.

SO ds nativity today and I thought it would be nice to make an effort, especially as I went by myself (everyone else working). You know, make eye contact, say hello - not looking to make best friends or anything.

Not one person even looked me in the eye. I got a row of chairs all to myself cos no one apparently wanted to sit anywhere near me. They would rather go and get more chairs out and sit in a more difficult position.

In the end the curate came to speak to me for a few minutes as I was just sat by myself. But had to go away as was actually in the service.

I did get one dirty look as ds refused to put on a costume or join in but that was it.

It's xmas party next week, do I try to make effort or just not bother? Left really and today.

Know how you feel Armadillo - its the same at my DD's school might as well be invisible.

Next week at the xmas party wait and see if anyone makes an effort, I am sure you are not the only parent that is ignored, so look around and see the ones, like yourself, sitting alone and maybe talk to them.

I'll try.

Difficult today I think as everyone but me seemed to ahve family with them.

Gah, I'll give it a go though.

Thanks. It feels like I'm back at school (though I had friends at school).

There are so many threads like this on MN at the moment so you are not alone! It's so hard to rise above it I know but once you get the hang of giving out the 'I'm not arsed' vibe it usually carries in a reverse psychology kind of way that people want to get to know you!

I get the everyone knowing each other thing and just not noticing. It's the seeming to go deliberately out of their way to ignore me that hurt.

I completely understand too. It is like that at DS2 pre-school. They all seem to know one another but I don't know a soul and it has been like that for the last 18mths since he started. TBH I can't be bothered and just drop and pick up but I wouldn't be so rude as to cut you dead if you spoke to me. That is uncalled for!

My DS refuses to join in with these things too and it bugs me as these people don't know me or DS and I feel they are judging me a bad parent because of it. Perhaps if they took the time to get to know me they would know better.

Do you know who DS is particularly friendly with? Maybe try and strike up a conversation with that child's parent about how well they get on and how DS loves playing with their child?

Wait till they start talking to you. People didn't talk to me for years, when they eventually did I was shocked at how they just slagged off the school and the teachers. Realised they hadn't spoken to me before coz they weren't sure I'd be on the same wavelength.

Em..I wasn't really!

SK

Thanks for these.

Ds is only 3.2 and doesn;t really play with anyone in particular. Plus we have the prob that the other parents are local, but we travel quite a way cos he needs to be at a place close to my parents so they can pick him up/drop him off when I am working.

It feels weird cos all the other parents are a lot older than me and have a very diff life (IYKWIM). But hey, their loss.

I'll try again next week.

Sounds lovely SK!

Not really my kinda thing either.

The thing is you shouldnt go out of your way to be friendly to people who you dont have much in common with - its a waste of energy on your part and you realise you really arent missing that much.

I have lots of acquantainces in school circles but out of all of these only one close friend who I have developed a mutual equal friendship with and who I have a lot in common with. There is no point compromising your own personality to try and gel with others - it has to come organically. So, be nonchalant - say hello but dont expect a lengthy conversation, get on nodding terms with people and let it grow (or not) but try not to take it to heart.