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To be fed up of having to explain everything in teeny tiny detail for it to be understoon

2 replies

DingdongmerrRADLEYonhigh · 05/12/2007 16:16

Last night dh went out for his pool night and as per usual woke me coming in at 1.30am. This morning he stayed in bed till 8.15 whilst I did breakfast got dd1 & dd2 dressed etc, he was going out of door and realised packed lunch hadn't been done (how many jobs can i do at once ffs) hence, i ended up with less than 5 minutes to get ready for work. I didn't have time to make a sarnie for work so he brought me one down.

Other than taking kids and bringing me a sarnie he has done NOTHING.

Yesterday I asked him to put a joint of gammon in the oven for tea, assuming that he would do some veg to go with it, he hasn't when I mentioned it saying 'surely you didn't think we would just have a joint of gammon' he shook his head and went for a bath (I'm estimating he will be there just over an hour)

AND, since I've got in I've had to load/turn on dishwasher, sort post, tidy kitchen put a load of washing in tumbler, a load of washing in the washer and empty the bin.

All I seem to have done lately is shout, snap and snarl at people and know that it is getting to dh and dd1 & dd2 (dd1 came in from school and asked what mood I was in )

BUT, I get hardly any help, kids are always arguing with each other, I feel they have zero respect for me, I can ask them to do something half a dozen times and have to end up shouting, 8 year old has the attitude of 10 men, i do NOTHING every night except sit opposite dh and watch tele and he does practically nothing in the house.

If he empties the dishwasher and does a load of washing he thinks he is the dogs bollox (yes he does do school runs most days he is off but it's 5 mins either way and I usually blitz in this time)

OP posts:

bubblagirl · 05/12/2007 16:35

this could be my friend writing this

do you ask them to do things when they are there such as dd could you unload dishwasher please or dh could you load washing machine and just ask them calmly to help you out

instead of feeling stressed that you ahve to rush around doing everything yourself i leave bin bag by door and say to dp could you take that out for me

men and kids are not domestic gods or goddesses they do need to be told and asked

calm down could you not get them to make there own pack lunch night before and maybe allocate jobs to lessen the load for you and try not to see it as a personal thing that they dont do it

my friend always says i always have to do it and is always being told no ones telling you to do it you choose to do it without asking for help then moan about it

not saying its same for you but allocating jobs and getting lunches done night before would give you more time in morning not sure how old your dc are

but i remember helping my mum from a young age with my lunch and cleaning so worth try

men do need to be told exactly what to do they do not think about rest of things but maybe if you just appreciate what he has done he might feel better about helping

my dp has done similar thing with dinner but i found it quite sweet he was so pleased he'd done good by helping i let it go said thank you so much gave him big kiss and then he was willing to carry on helping lol


Homebird8 · 05/12/2007 16:53

Ooh, know exacly where you're coming from. I have a Mini IQ party plan business so on top of running that and supporting my team I look after the DSs (5 and 3), chair both the PTA and the pre-school committee, fundraise for church, run a toddler group and, because I don't actually need time to eat or sleep, look after everything in the house including doing my share of the DIY (it's a doer-upper).
He works long hours (goes out at 6 and reappears 7.30 or later) but then "he's tired".
From asking him to do something and getting no answer he's now perfected the technique of saying "yes" and then I find it's not done (just little jobs like putting the bin out). Of course he's in close touch with people on the other side of the world in forums on astronomy, hi-fi, emigrating to NZ and anything else which takes his fancy which come before doing anything around here). I'm not even a big poster here. Don't have time!
Anyway, lots of empathy.

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