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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not "help people out in the spirit of the season"

13 replies

SelfishMrsClaus · 05/12/2007 15:35

As accused by my mother..

My sister called me on Sunday night & asked me to purchase tickets for a concert that went on sale on Monday morning. She has no computer, though her dh has a laptop he could have used, but apparently the tickets were for his Christmas gift...

These cost me £120.

My other sister called me last night & asked if I had time to look for a Nintendo ds for her ds. I said I wasn't sure as I had so much coursework to do. But I did call a few shops for her who all told me the same story, they were sold out!

So I text her & she asks me to look on amazon. Amazon have them at over £200. She then asks me to purchase one on my card for her..

now in principle these things might work out fine, but that's over £300 out of my account in the space of 2 days & it might be 3 weeks before I se either of my sisters for them to repay me. And, realistically, if they give me over £300 in cash, just before Christmas it stands no chance of ever making it into my back account.

I don't not want to help them, but they could have come here with their cards & I would have done it for them on the computer... And I know theywill pay me back.. but I hadn't budgeted for spending this money...

I told my 2nd sister I couldn't get it for her as I'm afraid of going overdrawn & now she has went complaining to our mother that I won't help her out

OP posts:
3JinglesandnoBells · 05/12/2007 15:38

I can understand where you are cmning from. It's a lot of money.
I assume your sister has a bankcard, ask her to give you the details and you could pay straight from her card.

dragonstitcher · 05/12/2007 15:39

No, YANBU. Can't they put the money directly into your bank account, so you don't have to wait until you see them?

Camillathechicken · 05/12/2007 15:40

explain that you ar worried about going overdrawn. why can your family not transfer the money to your account? or send a cheque? or give you their card details?

HairyIrene · 05/12/2007 15:41

i think its alot to ask..as you say hardly on the budget!
your offer of computer, using their own cards sounds fair enough i think
but, does sis2 know that sis1 was helped by you?
anyhow, they should learn be made to do their own christmas shopping, liek the rest of us!

BeeWiseMen · 05/12/2007 15:42

you can't give what you do not have. Agree why can't your sister tell you her card details over the phone and you buy it on her card? There can't be any objection to that surely.

You have my sympathies, I seem to be doing rather a lot of other people's shopping this year.

Original poster
SelfishMrsClaus · 05/12/2007 15:47

Sis 2 does know that I helped sis 1 out. But I only helped her as she is computer illiterate & wouldn't have the first clue where to start. Sis 2 does have a pc at home & her dh was looking for Nintendos for her last night but then said he got bored

I bloody told her a month ago to look for a nintendo! But no..... who wants to listen to me!

Also, don't think sis 1 would have the faintest idea of a bank transfer.. she's the money under the mattress kind of girl!

I told my mother I was afraid of going overdrawn as I still have my own kids things to pay for, she wasn't impressed. I even asked if she wanted to let me put it on her card. She declined

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 05/12/2007 15:50

That is a fair amount of money for most people.

If I couldn't have afforded it, however, which I couldn't, I'd have asked my sister for her bank or credit card details before ordering it for her.

I mean, outside a Harry Potter novel, you can't magic up what you don't have.

bozza · 05/12/2007 15:51

I think if they were prepared to get the money to you properly - like a bank transfer or whatever - then YWBU - but seen as they just expect an immediate and indefinte loan of hundreds of pounds YANBU definitely.

Original poster
SelfishMrsClaus · 05/12/2007 15:54

Well I just text sis 2 (She's at work) & told her the url of amazon & said I'd help her out later.

She replied with "I'll try & get it sorted"

So whatever she wants, I've done all I can considering I am snowed under with my own stuff.

(Yet I always have time to MN)

OP posts:
BeeWiseMen · 05/12/2007 15:56

ah but mn is time-saving. You could have been stewing about this for hours. Now you have very quickly learnt you are in the right and can concentrate on your other stuff.

You're still on here though, aren't you?

expatinscotland · 05/12/2007 15:58

You know, I and some others here have also had problems with Amazon being able to deliver goods in time for Xmas.

They give you one date when you order it, then send you an email saying the item will be delayed on and on.

This happened to me a couple of years ago when I was trying to send an album to a friend and she didn't get it before Xmas.

lizziemun · 05/12/2007 17:27

i would suggest that your sis 2 is asking you to payv as she has no money and doesn't get paid another 3 weeks. As most companies pay early at christmas.

Original poster
SelfishMrsClaus · 05/12/2007 18:14

Nah, her dh gets paid weekly

She's going to go & camp out at her local toy shop tomorrow as they said they should be having a delivery at some time.

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