How hard is it to get married!!

[Rainbowheart1]

I’m struggling, I lost the will to carry on today, more fool me for thinking this is going to be easy being as I’m just getting married and not actually having a wedding with any friends or family. (Secret wedding)

Here comes the moaning,
Booked the venue as HAD to do that first, took 3 days to get someone to pick the phone up but got a date in the end. Called back the council to tell them I’ve now got a date so can I book notice of marriage and the registrar. “No sorry we have no appointments for this week so you will have to change your wedding date” ok fine, when do you have so I can book the venue 30 days after that? “We can’t tell you that, when you have a new date come back and we will see if we can book you in”

Called the venue to change date, actually got through first time so was happy!

Called them back to book the notice and register. “No sorry that’s not available either, lots of weddings happening at once due to covid”.

Fffs! Thought right, just going to book it for next year then (it needs to be when the kids are off school, so half terms, although to be honest I’m thinking of just pulling them out for the day now!)

Rung the venue to change the date for a 3rd time, no answer! Probably be another 3 days of not answering and until they come back to me!

So after spending all day doing that, taking over 45 minutes each time to get through to the council I’m actually worse off because in my mind before I rung them I thought I was getting married this year.

Aibu to want to get married within 3 months (this year) if it’s a quick 15 minute ceremony with no actual wedding?

I feel like I’m asking for them to hand me the world!!

Could you book a humanist celebrant instead? That's what my brother and sister in law used and there were loads to choose from.

Is it acknowledged in the eyes of the law? We just want to get married to secure our financials.

Humanist ceremonies aren’t legal in England (I think they are in Scotland). You still need a registrar to do the legal bit.

That's such a waste of money for the council to be operating like that.

Call the council first with a list of dates to hand so you don't have to keep ringing back, as it sounds like their dates are going to be more difficult than your venues.

Is it possible to go into the council and then ca the venue from there so that the person at the council is party to the conversation or arrange a zoom with all parties so it can be sorted in one conversation?

Book a registry office at an unpopular time like 2pm on a Tuesday.

We had exactly the same issue it was such a pain as there’s no coordination so you’re going back and forth! We did it eventually and then it got cancelled due to Covid but managed to re book for 11 on a Monday which unsurprisingly was pretty free
Good luck you’ll get there in the end.

It’s the most stupidest system! If you can’t get an appointment to give notice what’s the point in booking a venue and registar!!? It’s all backwards!

I’m going to try again tomorrow…..please think of me and wish me some luck.

It’s not the town council it’s theee council for the whole area, I imagine the building doesn’t even have a reception, it’s all phone based. Doesn’t even say where there office is based….probably because you wait ages for them to pick up so don’t want no one going there to speak to someone quicker 😂

You could take the next available date at the registry office and then have a celebrant at a later date at the venue?

Get a list of dates from the venue and go through them all when you call, then let the venue know which date you have settled on.

We wanted to get married on our anniversary, we hadn’t booked our venue so I lied and said we had, they’re not going to immediately call the venue to see if its a lie.

That sounds like a heck of a lot of faff! We got married in Gibraltar, just the two of us. Booked a slot via email for the day we wanted then we just had to turn up the day before the 'wedding' and sign a few papers/show documents. Really easy and got the job done.

If it’s just about financial security just book a registry office wedding?

Gosh, that sounds incredibly frustrating.

On the financial security element, I would ensure you have Wills in place and have also nominated any pensions etc. to each other.

We booked ours within 3 months no problem. We booked a Monday slot at the local registry office. If it's just about the legal, why are you having another venue?

Can you not just book it at the registry office?

Why can’t you just do it at the registry office? If it’s not a wedding you don’t need a separate venue surely. We did ours at the registry office just to sign the forms and it was no faff at all.

She’s talking about the notice of marriage, it’s a separate thing

It is at a registry office and on a weekday so they have lots of dates available, my fault for calling it a venue.

The problem is getting an appointment for marriage of notice

We don’t have wills, also don’t particularly want one as my family just love contesting wills, it’s like a fun thing for them to do 🤦🏻‍♀️

I want to get married so everything ;house and bank money, goes straight to the other person or if we both die held until our children are 18.

I got married at the registry office, and booked both at the same time in the same call

@Hopdathelf

If it’s just about financial security just book a registry office wedding?

This. If you’re doing it as a legality make it as easy as possible.

@Rainbowheart1

It is at a registry office and on a weekday so they have lots of dates available, my fault for calling it a venue.

The problem is getting an appointment for marriage of notice

Ahh I see. It's the giving notice appointment holding you back. Silly they can't tell you when they have available!

Can you book giving notice online? That's what we did. We gave notice 2 weeks ago and are getting married in December. Hope you get it sorted!