For context, I am five months pregnant and exhausted. I work full time (this week, I worked 5.5 days, as I sometimes have to work Saturdays), and I am also studying for a masters part-time, which I am trying to complete before the baby is born. This masters is 20 hours a week. I work, at my actual job, between 40 and 55 hours a week, depending on the week.
My husband is not currently in paid employment, but he is working unpaid on developing his own business, and he is often working 10-12 hour days or more on this. He also wants to launch the business before the baby is born, so he is trying to get it completed before then.
The house has not been properly fully cleaned since the beginning of July (no judgements, please). By cleaned, I mean dusted, floors washed, bathroom washed etc. There are quite thick layers of dust on all the furniture, and some cobwebs in the corners.
My husband does clean the kitchen more often than me, but usually the kitchen is a state. I often leave dishes, especially at the moment as I am falling asleep at night on the couch and getting up early for work, and he usually does those dishes. He also cooks every night for us. He sometimes gives the house a tidy once a week, and often it is my clothes etc. that is lying out. However, he never actually cleans the house, and he leaves things lying out as well, for example dishes etc. all over his work desk. I don't keep the house tidy or clean either on a weekly basis, but I always give it a thorough clean during my holidays (I work term times, so I have holidays every 5 or 6 weeks or so).
Basically, his parents arrive to stay with us on Wednesday. I have been asking him for about a week to start cleaning the house, as it needs a proper clean for them arriving. It is really dirty and dusty, and I feel like I just don't have time to clean it properly, but that it's not fair on them to arrive to stay in a dirty, dusty house. For example, the tiles in the bathroom are thick with limescale that has gone pink, and the floors badly need to be washed. However, we had a big fight tonight where he said he isn't going to be "pedantic" and dust "random bits of surfaces" for his parents coming out. But I'm not talking about a normal once a week dust that isn't obvious. I'm talking about surfaces that haven't been dusted in weeks.
We had a two-hour argument about it. It seems he thinks that I was unreasonable for pointing out things that he hadn't cleaned yet, for example, the cobwebs and the tiles. I did not mean it this way - he often doesn't see dirt and dust, so I just meant to point those things out to him for him to do, but he has taken it as me being a dick about it. Perhaps he is right about that, even thought it wasn't intentional.
However, the other part of our fight is my anger that he believes that he is doing more than me because he is working sometimes 12 hours a day on his business. He thinks because I take breaks while I work that I am working less than him. I am angry, though, because I am working full time, doing my masters, pregnant, and because I also do almost everything for preparing for the baby, i.e. sorting out the welfare applications, leasing a new car, getting our documents together etc. It takes up a lot of my time, plus midwife appointments etc.
I understand my husband also has a deadline of January, but my "deadlines" (i.e. the hours I have to be at work and the essay deadlines for the university this month) are immovable. But he makes his own hours. To my mind, he could easily take a day off his work, clean the house, and then make up the hours after his parents have gone by working an hour or two extra a day. I just can't do that.
Who is being unreasonable here? Or are we both being a bit unreasonable?