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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Such an awful mother I am

67 replies

Cocomani · 20/09/2021 13:17

So I’ll give a detailed step by step account on things.
I have twins dc (2y) and a baby (4m)
Around 11am I came back from the clinic with 1 of the twins and the baby. DH stayed home with the other twin.
I come in, take baby into the nursery for nap and then stay in living room with the twins till baby wakes around 1pm.
When I went to get the baby the twins followed me out and I walked back into the living room and went into my dh office to tell him I’m taking the kids out and ask if he needs anything from the shop.
He asks me where the twins are and I tell him in the hallway.
BUT NO! They opened the door to the apartment, call the lift, press the lobby button, go through the lobby door, press the security button that opens the door that leads you outside and they both go running in different directions.
Thank god they were still in plain sight. But oh my god!!! I can’t beleive I didn’t lock the front door!!!!!!
I can’t beleive I let this happen. This is so awful. My heart is still beating fast and this happened over an hour ago! :(
Pleas tell me this has happened to other people :(

OP posts:

JimmyLennon · 20/09/2021 14:33

DS was about 2 when I popped upstairs to the toilet. I heard him talking, then a man's voice. Turned out a delivery man had knocked on the door, DS answered it and told the man mummy wasn't at home! Thankfully the man pulled the door to, and was trying to phone me (my number was on the parcel) as I rushed down the stairs! Must be twice as hard with twins!

Glssr195726113493 · 20/09/2021 14:36

Toddlers are total twats. And when there’s more than one, they work together. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

Mossstitch · 20/09/2021 14:39

How any of them survive is a miracle! Three here, all grown up now but all lost/escaped at some point (always I hasten to add when EX was supposedly looking after them) . Worst was youngest, on a European campsite with swimming pool, toddling with dad to put rubbish in bins (not long walking about 15 months old) who didn't notice when he stopped being behind him! There followed frantic 20 mins scouring the large campsite (it's making me feel ill recounting it). Unbeknown to me my then 6 Yr old had found him pretty quickly but little one wouldn't be persuaded to turn around, goodness knows what was in his head or where he was trying to go, so his brother had simply followed him to ensure he was safe until we found them both😌

Brollywasntneededafterall · 20/09/2021 14:52

You are human op... Now go hug your dc!!

Louloubelle78 · 20/09/2021 15:14

We loved in Hong Kong when I was about the age of your twins @Cocomani. A neighbour calmly came over and said 'don't panic or scream but I was on the Aircon unit outside'. Not too bad you think. We lived 30 floors up and when the planes came into Kowloon airport you could see the pilot and the people on the plane! Clearly they got me down safely. What a fright for you though!! They are so quick sometimes.

dottiedodah · 20/09/2021 15:21

I was shopping early one day .Looked in the window for a split sec ,and DD had disappeared! Frantically asking anyone at all if they had seen a little girl in a lilac jacket.Just came to me that the ELC(just opened around then) was attractive to her! Got in and there she was playing happily! No one can be on guard 24/7 and never take their eye off the ball .

HunterAngel · 20/09/2021 15:29

Haven’t had an escape (yet) but have lost count of the number of times I’ve blinked and DS is on the counter tops/ window sills/ basically anything high up is fair game! He climbs absolutely everything

user7012893145776 · 20/09/2021 15:31

I have so many of these stories.

We had not long moved to our house and put a 6ft fence up. A day later he climbed the fence like it was a set of ladders and off he went. I had my back turned for 2 minutes. I turned around to see him at the top of the fence climbing down the other side.

Another time he climbed on top of his wardrobe in his room and jumped from the top- I'm still not sure exactly how he did this because he was only about 18 months old at the time.

He climbed baby gates so we had 2 stacked on top of the other.

I was in the loo and he was playing away quite the thing. Next I hear him shout fire fire and he had put a hot wheels in the microwave and switched it on and blew it up.

I was in the shower and as I was getting out I heard the front door slam shut. He had climbed, got my keys and opened the door and was running down the stairs of the close when we lived in a flat.

We had to put a safe in our house to put all our keys and things in there so he couldn't open it. Nothing was ever up high enough. We also put trellis up on the fence with climber plants so he couldn't climb up on that.

My heart was in my mouth with my eldest. He was always up to something. You needed 3 people with you if you took him to the park because he would disappear. You just didn't have enough eyes.

user7012893145776 · 20/09/2021 15:33

you're not awful op, you're human and toddlers are toddlers.

44PumpLane · 20/09/2021 15:35

We moved house to an incredibly safe close just before my twins started deciding that escaping out the front door was the most fun you could have ever!

We lived with the chain/sneck on the front door for abott a year (which is really annoying when you arrive home and can't get in) and even now a couple years later put the chain on at night "just in case". I absolutely hate it as what if there is a fire? But it's such a toss up between what is most worrying!!

Oh I also discovered one twin coiod roll when she rolled off our (quite high) double bed!!!

MatildaTheCat · 20/09/2021 15:41

My DB was found around the age of 2 walking down the road at about 6am. A kind man asked him where he was going and he said ‘the shops’. Luckily kind man managed to find my parents’ house and return him. They were still asleep.

It happens.

UnchainedMemory · 20/09/2021 15:57

Lost my son in a department store - he left the toy department 3 floors up, got in the lift and was found on the ground floor, running around in the china-and-glass section! We've all been there, Op, don't blame yourself.

itsgettingwierd · 20/09/2021 16:08

This happens more than you think!

Kids that age know what they want to do and don't have the ability to realise it's dangerous.

They sound pretty smart though - that's a lot of things they managed to do

Don't beat yourself up. You know mow they can do it and can take preventative steps to stop it happening again.

Like many of us who've been surprised by our toddlers cunning and genius in the last!

itsgettingwierd · 20/09/2021 16:10

@MatildaTheCat

It happens.

I've found neighbours kids twice early morning wandering the streets.

Both times I'm empathised as my ds decided 3am was a good time for a stroll once . I only managed to stop it being worse as he let the door slam behind him and it woke me up!

itsgettingwierd · 20/09/2021 16:11

Should say 2 different neighbours and a decade apart.

One was walking the dog for mummy and daddy in her best knickers and wellies

Goldbar · 20/09/2021 16:16

Recommend a high bolt. I learnt that my DC could open the front door when, just turned 2, they locked me out (slammed the door shut) when I'd just stepped out to wave a friend off. They said "let mummy in" and went off and fetched a small stool and then turned the yale latch which I'd thought was too high up for me to have to worry about them escaping. Since then, I've always bolted our front door at the top when we're in the house and I'm doing things.

dray9925 · 20/09/2021 16:23

My brother did this when he was about three. Big family day out and we decided to go back to my grandparents all piled in the house at the same time no one had even noticed he was there till my dad looked out of the living room window and saw my brother walking down the drive towards the main road!
There was about 8 adults in the house as well as 5 older children/teens we have no clue how he managed to get out of the back door and open the garden gate
It happens don't beat yourself up about it

thenewduchessofhastings · 20/09/2021 16:36

When my brother was 3 he scaled the 6ft locked back gate and took himself off the local park;he even crossed a main road.

Luckily a woman found him and got him to show him where he lived;my mum was feeding and changing my then baby brother indoors and thought my toddler brother was safely playing in the secured garden;it definitely wasn't unreasonable of her to think otherwise.

dannydyerismydad · 20/09/2021 16:37

It's the stuff of family legend that my cousin escaped from his home unnoticed and then liberated the toddler next door too.

You'll laugh about this one day, but it's ok to feel a bit shaken up right now.

You've learned they are more capable than you realised, and you may need to fit extra door and window bolts out of reach now.

JetRocket · 20/09/2021 16:42

It happens
No one can be on it 24/7 for years it’s just not possible! I have an 18 month old and almost 4 month old. Whilst I was heavily pregnant and struggling with SPD by eldest figured out how to climb up on the rocking chair in his bedroom, then toppled face first off it

He was fine but it looked dramatic and I felt awful

Watchingyouwazowski · 20/09/2021 16:42

I’m glad your twins are safe, OP. I have a million bad parenting stories. One time I lost a toddler. They had crawled under the car while I wasn’t looking. I couldn’t believe they had disappeared into thin air! Never dreamed child would be under the car but they were. Eventually coaxed toddler out, covered in dirt and oil!

EdgeOfTheSky · 20/09/2021 16:49

OMG OP, what a pair of terrors!

They clearly knew what to do.

Thank god you nabbed them!

WingingItSince1973 · 20/09/2021 17:11

OP my dd age 2 escaped from my parents home and was heading back to our house when I pulled up and saw her toddling across the playing field!

Much worse though and many years ago my dm was actually left at an airport! My DGM was moving to Malaysia as grandad was stationed there. She had lots of kids to board the plane and totally forgot about my mother. It was only because a couple remembered who this abandoned baby belonged too and they were reunited! This was in the early 60s thought but least you haven't left your twins in a different country xxxxx

Looubylou · 20/09/2021 17:23

My parents were very good parents but there us a family story of my sister, at 18 months, being found on a roof having rapidly climbed a ladder. The discovery was witnessed by wider family members. I kid you not - 18 month!! You won't let it happen again - move on. My sister is still the more confident and adventurous one.

AdviceOnLife · 20/09/2021 17:32

OP you have had such a fright but you made a mistake.
Please don't continue to beat yourself up about this.
You know to always double check the door now. Something terrible could have happened but it didn't. Give your little ones great big hugs and start a fresh tomorrow.
We are all human. We all make mistakes

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