To want to meet someone?

[PoolNooodle]

I’m a single mum to 4 children, I’m on my own with them completely as their father doesn’t have any contact with them (this is his choice) I said to my mum that I would like to meet someone as I’ve been on my own for 5 years now and I do get very lonely, my mum basically said it was unfair of me to meet someone and I should just concentrate on the children and meet someone when they have grown up! I don’t really want to be alone for the next 10+ years (youngest is 4) is my mum right? Aibu to want to meet someone?

I think it’s normal for you to want to have a relationship. But it’s also the case that doing so could be hugely disruptive to your children. That doesn’t mean it isn’t an option - lots of children live in blended families. It just means you’ll have to be careful about how you manage it, and always put your children’s welfare first.

I think your mum has FAR TOO much influence over your life given that you don’t get on.

Sorry if this sounds a bit short - typing in a rush - but I can think of a lot of threads where you’ve mentioned your mum saying something and asking if you’re reasonable or not and honestly, who cares (I mean, just do you! Sod your mum!)

I feel your pain I’ve been single for 10 years it’s hard.

Yes I would say she is quite opinionated, unfortunately I have to speak to her as if I didn’t I wouldn’t have any family left! But yes she very opinionated.

Your mum sounds just like my mum!! Im also in the same position, single with 2 children, neither dad's are involved so responsibilities solely fall to me. Ive been on my own 6 years now. I too am considered selfish by my mother if I want a life for myself. This comes from a woman who has never experienced single life or single parenting!

Omg YANBU!!! Of course you want, and have a right, to meet someone! If they were a support to you, it could make you a happier mum , and benefit your children too. And potentially bring another loving adult into your children’s lives (only a good thing). Absolutely get out there on the apps ☺️ And start chatting to people. Just make sure you choose wisely: find someone who’s kind to your children and who they enjoy having around, but take it slow, and you’ll be grand!

Yes that’s exactly what my mum is like MissMaple82 I’ve been alone for 5 years I think that’s a long time! It’s not like I’ve rushed into a new relationship but she thinks my life should revolve around them (which it does) but I would also like a life for myself as well.