To choose family vs money

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NC so this thread isn't linked to my posts!

I should say, not a stealth boast - I'm incredibly lucky and privileged to be financially doing very well. Money won't ever be something to worry about; it wasn't always this way and I have experienced money issues (not poverty but not far off). I work because I like getting out the house and enjoy my job but I don't need to work, as such.

Well I was talking to a few colleagues and one guy asked everyone 'a million quid or a family, which would you pick?'

Everyone picked the money.

I don't have family (just DH, no other family for either of us, and sadly after 8 years of TTC every route has failed). I would 100% give up every penny to have children, parents, aunts/uncles, cousins, just family. Christmas is just DH and I, we got married alone because there was no one to invite.

But I was looked at so strangely when I said I'd definitely choose family! I appreciate their choice could have been in jest - they wouldn't actually give up their loved ones for a million quid!

Maybe we just want what we don't have?

I don’t have a lot of money and having enough so I don’t have to worry on a daily basis would be bliss

But I would still choose my family over money

Depends on your family! And on your current income.
If I had no money, problem children and awful parents, it would be a no-brainer!
I don’t struggle for cash at the moment and my family is generally alright so I would choose family. Might have gone for the cash a few years back though when times were harder and before I reconciled with my parents!

@Soubriquet

I don’t have a lot of money and having enough so I don’t have to worry on a daily basis would be bliss

But I would still choose my family over money

Exactly, the value of relationships must be 1000% higher than pounds. I come into a lot of contact with many different families at work and I ache to have what they do.

Well some people have terrible families and some people are less financially stable and a million would be transformative.

Some people are already estranged from family so in their case probably a fairly easy choice...

Personally, while i "need to work" I'd pick family... i imagine so would virtually all my coworkers (but we are on 6 figures so have the luxury of easier choices).
However, If i had a fairly crap family and was on 25k a year i know what I'd pick.

I'd choose people not family. I have many friends who are my family of choice. Blood relationships don't have to mean more, it's the people you choose who matter

Maybe it's because you always want what you haven't got! Most people do have a family and don't have a million pounds, so they take the family for granted and hanker after the money. You're in the opposite position.

Its really depends on your life experiences, where you are and what you have.

A million pounds would fix alot of peilles problems. Reduce their stress and generally have a better life. If their family isn't the best and even maybe makes their life harder, I can see why they would.

You are assuming if you had family, it would be something good. And it probably would. Bit for alot of people that's not the case. Their families don't enhance their lives and make it a lot worse.

Dps, family is that kind. I am confident he wouldn't give me and my kids up up a million pounds. But he wouldn't hesitate, if it was the family he grew up with. Alcoholic, drug addicted abusive parents that fucked up alot of kids lives. They continued to have kid after kid, sometimes with other people. Some kids got abandoned, some removed the care etc.

They don't bring anything to enhance his life.

I am sorry for your ttc journey is taking so long, but it's amazing that you have such a strong bond with your DH.

Personally, I would choose family.

Picking a million quid over having a family is bizarre. If it was a hundred million I’d get it a bit more.

All depends on your family. I would choose mine but if DP had to choose money or his mum he (and i) would choose money.

I’d choose my family as in DH and kids.

I’d choose the money over family if it was like parents, brothers, sisters cousins….because that would better me and my DH and our kids, who I suppose I see now as my immediate family and the rest are just family, if that waffle makes sense!!!

Probably the others don’t have money, and the grass is always greener. Not trivialising it, because I’m sure it’s incredibly hard for you, but probably difficult for them to imagine having money but no family.

It’s a hard choice! Could I pick a small family and half the money?

My family are an absolute nightmare. Horrible and abusive people. So the answer would be a no brainer for me as I don't talk to my family anyway

OP, with respect, if money isn’t something you will ever need to worry about again, you can’t possibly comprehend how much real poverty affects every aspect of people’s lives. Just as someone who’s conceived the first month of trying and had unproblematic pregnancies every time would not be able to fully understand your struggle to have a child, or someone with a large cohort of difficult parents/siblings/cousins etc would fully understand what it’s like to be alone in the world in terms of relatives.

(Don’t you and your DH have friends who could have attended your wedding, even if you have no relatives?)

I think if it was a choice between having a lovely, supportive family and money, most people would choose family. When it's between your own family and money, obviously not everyone has a lovely family so would choose money.

I've lived in poverty. I'd still choose family.

I think people just choose what they don't already have - and most people don't think they have enough family.