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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this unreasonable or is it needy ?

16 replies

Superexhausted · 19/09/2021 20:15

Partner is due to move in with me in just over a months time he always comes to mine on Saturday evenings and stays Sundays or I go to his. This weekend he had training on the Sunday morning and was going to come back to mine after pick me up from work and go out for dinner. There is a new club on the Sunday evening and they asked him to help out. he asked me if I would mind if he went and I said no go ahead we can just go out Another night. He offered to come back to mine after on Sunday and would see how he felt but I said see how you feel I don’t want you driving unnecessarily if it’s only going to be a few hours you get to see me for as he would of finished late. I’ve been really unwell the past two days with a condition I’ve been exhausted and constantly being sick because of it. He text me today to see if I was ok etc and I said not really had I been able to leave work I would have as I kept being sick. I then had to get a taxi home from work as I couldn’t face the bus journey and long walk to bus stop. He’s been texting me all evening which I thought was weird as he was supposed to be at football I also text him earlier good luck with football. He ignored that message but carried on texting me we have find mu I phone on each other’s phone as him and i constantly loose our phones I’ve used 2 times in the last 3 months when he’s lost it but today I checked and he was still at home not at football he only lives 25-30 minutes away and had practically the whole day off. Would you expect your partner to pick you up from work if he could and knew you where I’ll. last night he was so caring and even went to the shop to pick me up some snacks that I would possibly feel like eating and would make me feel even more sick so it feels weird for him not to see me today if he could.

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Superexhausted · 19/09/2021 20:36

Also maybe feeling like this because I’m
So I’ll and exhausted and prepared to be told I’m unreasonable

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MaizeBlouse · 19/09/2021 20:37

Sorry but I'me so confused..
So he said he was at football and he wasn't?
Why did you expect him to collect you?

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 19/09/2021 20:41

I’d find it controlling if someone was using technology to see where I was. Does he know you do that rather than just use it to find lost phones? Did he see that you had done this hence no offer to collect you?

Superexhausted · 19/09/2021 20:49

He told me to use it to track him when he’s on the way to mine I never have I’ve used it a few times to find his phone for him and once I was showing my mum how it worked but he knows about he downloaded it for me maybe he tracks me I don’t no or care I live a very boring life he says he dosnt track me and I trust him on that

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Dutch1e · 19/09/2021 20:52

You know you shouldn't move in with him but crack on anyway

Superexhausted · 19/09/2021 20:54

He said he was going to football and couldn’t pick me up and see me like he does every other Sunday that was on Monday I said that was ok as
I wasn’t going to stop him helping out last night and today I was really unwell and could of done with some help. I didn’t expect him to collect me but he does every other Sunday as he goes passed my work to mine I otherwise have to get the bus and have a 25 minute walk not great when your chucking your guts up and so exhausted your almost falling asleep so I ordered a taxi instead

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Superexhausted · 19/09/2021 20:56

@Dutch1e it’s the first time he’s ever done this last night he did everything for me as I was so unwell so I’m so confused by this he’s never done anything like this before in the year and a half we have been together. He’s moving into mine and keeping his flat so he can move out if I had any worries

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Bluntness100 · 19/09/2021 20:58

What did you wish him to help you with? What was the issue in getting a taxi?

Superexhausted · 19/09/2021 21:06

Well the issues I had was cooking dinner washing etc I can’t really stand up as I get so dizzy and I’m to exhausted to have a bath as I’m likely to fall asleep I’ve managed to eat some crisps and a banana felt to sick to cook anything else also have to make the bed as I was sick on it a little this morning I missed the bucket I managed to strip the top sheet off and leave in a pile by the machine I napped this evening with a blanket on top so I’ll do that tonight too but it just sucks I guess if it was me and my partner was this ill and only 20 minutes away I would go visit

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Superexhausted · 19/09/2021 21:09

There was also no issue with getting a taxi I just am on low income at the moment while I work 3.5 days a week due to illness so a taxi is a fair chunk of money for me also involved staying 45 minutes late at work as it was the only time one could come and get me and I could barely stand up to walk. Don’t ask how I managed a day at work I took my lunch In lots of little chunks was sick a few times and glued myself to my chair so I didn’t have to move

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Butchyrestingface · 19/09/2021 21:12

You posted a thread about your weekend set up last week, didn't you?

Don't think you two are ready to be sharing pots and pans.

Notimeforaname · 19/09/2021 21:13

Ask him did he go to football. Talk to him.

Bizawit · 19/09/2021 21:15

Not sure why people are voting YABU? If I understood you correctly , your partner lied to you about where he was, cancelled a usual visit , and failed to show up to support you when you were really sick. I’d definitely be upset about that!! Can you confront him about whether he went to football or not, and why he lied to you?

Superexhausted · 19/09/2021 21:20

I haven’t posted before about him I posted a few weeks ago about something random but nothing related to him
I will ask him later he rings me before he goes to bed so will ask him then but so far he’s stopped messaging me back.
@Bizawit he definitely originally had football later in the evening but it’s been cancelled so just failed to tell me

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Superexhausted · 19/09/2021 22:30

Very bizarre no contact from him for 3 hours which is very bizarre seeing as he’s just At home and knows I’m constantly being sick and ill

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Superexhausted · 19/09/2021 23:16

He called me said football got cancelled last minute because of numbers so he spent the evening with his best friend/ neighbour before he moves he said he hoped I felt better and said he would of come to see me but assumed as I was ill I would want space and to nap

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