Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect him to have his keys?

23 replies

bananafish · 19/09/2021 19:32

So it's not a big deal, but it is quite frustrating.

DH has a habit of not taking his house keys out with him. I used to remind him - I might be out, so don't forget - but he didn't take much notice and he's a grown man, so I don't do it anymore.

I feel as though it's some sort of weird power play? Like he thinks I should be there waiting for him?

He took the boys to rugby training today and I popped out to the shops. Cue a call from him as they had finished, and couldn't get in. I was about 15 minutes away and said I would leave straightaway and he got super huffy and hung up on me.

I just think he's being odd, but maybe I'm missing something?

But, who doesn't take their keys with them? He also rings the bell to be let in, even when he has his keys? Confused

OP posts:
Newkitchen123 · 19/09/2021 19:36

Go out
Put your phone on silent

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/09/2021 19:36

DH does this fairly regularly. He has key issues. Has lost them many times. Use to climb the drainpipe to get in his bedroom after a nightout after a teenager. Ridiculous. He has lost the only set of car keys we had when we were 200 miles from where we lived, visiting relatives. He accepted an offer from one of my relatives to drive him back to get his keys. I mean.....

If he rings the bell now I just ignore it. I pretend I haven't heard. I can't be arsed with it.

Sheepysheep · 19/09/2021 19:37

Lazy twat. Sounds like he needs to learn the hard way. Do not rush home!!

Unanananana · 19/09/2021 19:38

@Newkitchen123

Go out Put your phone on silent
This.

If he rings the bell, ignore it. He can let himself in.

Sounds like a power play all round. Yuck.

BruceAndNosh · 19/09/2021 19:38

Get a keypad

PersonaNonGarter · 19/09/2021 19:41

This isn’t about keys though. If it was, he would take responsibility for himself and be apologising.

As you have identified, it was/is about control. You DH is goading and pushing you - and you are responding - into being his support human.

Mrscutesmummy · 19/09/2021 19:42

My ex did this all the time and it drove me crackers! The other thing he'd do would be to ring the doorbell so I'd let him in like some sort of butler even when he had them rather than dig them out of his bag/ pockets. Half the time he'd set the dog off and wake the baby. I don't know if it's a deliberate power play but it's flipping annoying.

My solution at the time was to get a key locker installed by the door. Ultimately though the best solution was leaving (there was a hell of a lot more wrong in the relationship than his key habits though).

MagnoliaBeige · 19/09/2021 19:51

It’s a weird power play and I’d be taking my sweet time answering the doorbell and no way would I rush home to let him in, especially if it was a regular occurrence.

Brollywasntneededafterall · 19/09/2021 19:53

Remind him aren't his dm. And him treating you like her isn't an attractive quality..

greendiva · 19/09/2021 19:57

Key pad, no keys necessary.

Brollywasntneededafterall · 19/09/2021 20:00

Don't swap keys for a key pad..
Swap your man child for a grown up man.

FredWinnie · 19/09/2021 20:00

He got super huffy?
Did he apologise? If he didn't, bollocks to key pads - you're not a servant
Let him sort out his own mistakes before your boys start to mimic this entitled attitude

Keroppi · 19/09/2021 20:05

Buy him/make him buy this: www.thetileapp.com/en-us/key-tracker-app

If it's innocent absent-mindedness it won't be a problem anymore.

Dutch1e · 19/09/2021 20:09

Fuck him, let him sulk. Stay out overnight.

Leeds2 · 19/09/2021 20:15

I most certainly wouldn't have cut short what I was doing to rush home.

samwitwicky · 19/09/2021 20:31

Could he perhaps stick the key ring through his b*lls that's way they'll always be with him? Grin

pelosi · 19/09/2021 20:47

YANBU. You need to stop accommodating him running to rescue him.

Next time he does it say ‘I’ll be home when I’m home.’ And then stay out for hours.

You’re just enabling him.

Original poster
bananafish · 19/09/2021 21:01

@FredWinnie

He got super huffy? Did he apologise? If he didn't, bollocks to key pads - you're not a servant Let him sort out his own mistakes before your boys start to mimic this entitled attitude
That's actually my fear. I don't want them doing exactly that. My oldest has already hinted it at it. I've put him in place, but still...
OP posts:
RandomMess · 19/09/2021 21:05

Buy a key safe and leave him to it...

Somanysocks · 19/09/2021 21:13

@samwitwicky

Could he perhaps stick the key ring through his b*lls that's way they'll always be with him? Grin
But then you'll have to keep a stool outside the front door so he can reach the keyhole.
BruceAndNosh · 20/09/2021 15:42

Key safes rely on someone (you) ensuring there is a key in it.
A key pad doesn't

SheABitSpicyToday · 20/09/2021 15:46

I would’ve said “unlucky mate!” And then gone out for the afternoon.

RandomMess · 20/09/2021 16:20

@BruceAndNosh oh hell no, those that use the key safe sort it out and we leave them to it!!

Although a key pad is a good call.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread