To feel sad and let down

[gailplattshairbrush]

Having a real down day today. I am 9 weeks pregnant and suffering with sickness and extreme fatigue. My poor ds has been on screens all day. I haven't even got dressed. My partner is really good (not ds bio dad) and has taken him to the park but I've been useless. I feel like I'm failing him.

I phoned my mum to have a moan but she was drunk. She has always drank but since my dad died a few years back it has gotten much worse. She made some passive aggressive comments about getting a grip as she often does when she's under the influence. I ended up hanging up. I need my mums support not some drunk making me feel worse about myself. I'm so worried about her drinking. She is a functional alcoholic but won't admit it or change.

I'm also very emotional about the thought of bringing a new child into the world that will never know my dad. He was a brilliant dad and grandad.

I don't know if it's hormones or what but I just feel so very low today :(

Sorry that sounds shit . Sadly I know what it's like to have an alcoholic parent. Best not to expect too much as you'll only end up disappointed. Hope you've got some good friends

@Comedycook I have lots of friends and a wonderful partner and son. But sometimes I just feel like I need my mum. I understand she's grieving and trying to come to terms with life without my dad (as I am) but the drink is changing her and alienating her from people. She's upset a few of her friends with her comments too. I just wish she would stop.

Unfortunately you can not put a time on grief. Morning sickness is tough, you have your DS, a partner that is great. You live in a world of hope and future is bright. Your DM on the other hand may not have the same hope. I know it is tough on you, am sure she is going through a lot too. I am not making excuses for her drinking perhaps just checking in every now and again when you are not feeling poorly might do you both good

@Lemonades yes perhaps I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself today. The drinking is not new though and the comments still sting even on my better days, she is tough to be around when she's had a drink and it's a fine balance between wanting to be there for her and keep communication open and then wanting to distance myself for my own sanity.

When you open up to someone it can make you feel so vulnerable and I'm wondering if your DM is the best person to open up to if it makes you feel worse. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to cut her off just consider what sort of information you want to share with her and what conversations you want to have. Pick the people who support you better to open up to and stick to casual things with those who don't.

Morning sickness is the worst and I hope it passes soon.

Hi, I’m 17 weeks pregnant and found out a couple of weeks after my mum passed away, which was a couple of months after my dad passed away.
I’ve been suffering extreme sickness and fatigue and my son has been having too much screen time and pot noodles/sandwiches etc
Try not to beat yourself up about it. It’s an emotional rollercoaster

@Mymapuddlington so sorry to hear that, must be very very tough for you :(

It is but my son is being a superstar like yours seems to be and although baby won’t get to meet their grandad, they will know him through you, the photos and stories that you share.
At the moment you are the priority and screens and easy food won’t do any harm in the long run.
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