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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Weekends out when single and 40. How often?

31 replies

Toadmystery44 · 19/09/2021 14:25

I am single and 40. I live in a different city than I grew up in. Been here many years and have a few close friends. lots of friends in different cities round U.K. In my 30s was always out at the weekend or away visiting.

As people married and had kids my weekend night outs became less frequent. Mostly lunches or coffee with friends during the day. Dinners out on week nights etc. Haven’t lost touch, but it’s more family friendly activities or when baby sitters can be found. No off the spur boozy nights out. Or if they are they end early. That’s fine I adapt as I love my friends and their kids. I do have nights out booked, but due to all my friends being married and kids you need to book them in Advanced.

However, seeing a guy. He has his kid every Saturday night. He was asking what I was doing. Reply nothing much been out for lunch. He then says I need to get out and will no one go out with you? Seemed a bit odd. Then told he asks what am I doing. I replied nothing much, gym maybe hobby. He then asks has no one asked you to do anything.

Seems he thinks I have no social life. I did ask what he would be doing if he didn’t have his kid. He replied doesn’t know as he always has his kid 3 Saturdays a month and his free Saturday is spent with me or planned to see the boys.

So I ask. Am I the lonely person with no weekend social life? Is anyone the same as me? I feel he is making out I have. O friends or life!!

OP posts:
Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 21/09/2021 21:26

When it starts to get dark by 7pm, and Strictly starts againthat is my cue to not go out in the evenings til the clocks change again!
Don't even care! I love staying in!

thepeopleversuswork · 21/09/2021 21:30

He may be negging you or he may just be a bit old fashioned in his attitude. I was dating a guy a few years back who said he was going to give me a brand new social life (I’m a single parent). It pissed me off but I don’t think he was being a deliberate arsehole, he just assumed I couldn’t be a single parent and have a life.

Looubylou · 21/09/2021 22:07

He thinks it's odd, but he is not comparing like with like - I'm assuming he was younger than you when he was last free to have wild weekends. Or he is comparing you and your friends to his 40 plus male friends, who leave their kids with the wife and go out drinking as if they were still single and childish. Or he is trying to make you feel rubbish.

Mermaidwaves · 21/09/2021 22:48

Does your guys name begin with P? I knew a fella that sounds like him with the kid every Saturday etc and the subtle putdowns.
There's nothing unusual about your lifestyle OP, a lot of my friends work shifts so it's hard to all be off at the same time. He sounds like he's trying to make you feel bad about it though.

midsummabreak · 21/09/2021 23:01

Not surprisingly he has backtracked after you asked him why he made the comment.

Imagine if you questioned his lifestyle using the same surprised tone as though there was something wrong with him.

Ugzbugz · 21/09/2021 23:06

I'm 40 and do go out to pubs etc quite a bit but do spend nights at home to.

Think alot of men just do what they want so can always just pop out for a pint Confused

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