Please help me gain perspective- am I BU

[Verity38]

NC to post this.

I’m just really fed up right now but keep telling myself EVERYONE feels this way, I hate my job, my kids drive me crazy, I have no energy, my marriage consists of us being room mates rather than romantic partners. I have no energy to maintain friendships rather than the odd hello at school gate and odd lunch with a work colleague. I feel I’m doing crap at every part of my life. I feel I just wake up and get through the day, my mind is just foggy all the time.

My job at present is the worst area of my life. I hate it. I work in a school and I hate the environment - it’s not new, I’ve worked in schools for over 15 years but been here relatively new. Staff are rude, I’m a quiet and reserved person and feel they are really nasty and catty. I am part-time but constantly get emails from management for meeting requests and other training meeting that require me to come in on my days off. I’m a secondary teacher not primary so it’s not that the kids are missing out or anything that I must come in, I’m not required to come in as my timetable is only for days I work. But management keep trying to get me to work for free and keep sending me meeting requests on my days off.

I really hate working there. I love the kids and teaching aspect but the constant pointless meetings, paperwork, training sessions etc are too much. They keep telling me I need to do this and that but still pay me a teachers wage when I should be getting additional teaching responsibility points. I’m really friendly to everyone as in no matter what’s going on I go in with a smile on my face and be friendly but over past month alone I’ve been shouted at and screamed at by other people when I’ve just simply requested small things like pens and stationary for my students! I ended up buying my own in the end as can’t deal with it.

There’s no jobs for my subject area currently, I look everyday and there are none. I keep working there as I genuinely adore the students but I cannot continue. It will be hard finding a part time job for my subject. The school don’t like people that make a fuss so I know if I keep rejecting meeting and training requests on my days off they will start making things difficult for me do I end up resigning.

(40 lessons per fortnight! I’ve just realised that 40 a week would be insane )

She is not required to come in on days off and I remember when I was working there the union was very active and strong.

Nor are you. You refuse and ensure management are told you will never come in on days off, don’t care what they say. They can’t make you come in and you aren’t obliged to, no matter wha5 is said. Start saying no and expressing astonishment that they’ve asked! Phone your union, they will contact your school.

Union presence in the school was non-existent. I contacted the regional union who rang me at 11 at night telling me not to go in (I'd messaged in desperation at the thought of returning after half term) after I'd listed all the issues going on. They were horrified at the SLT's behaviour and attitudes. Definitely a toxic environment.

A change of school might help. Not for me though. This was my last attempt having struggled with the workload pretty much since starting. The love of the actual teaching wasn't enough for me to outweigh everything else.

It's your job obviously which is making you unhappy. Shane there's no union rep in your school but you could still join the union and presumably have access to a rep from outside. I think for the present I would send an email to the parties concerned saying that you til now you have accommodated the requests on your days off but going forward you will be using your days off for other things so won't be available. Make something up if you like eg caring for older relatives, training for a marathon, whatever .

It sounds like you need to leave teaching, at least for now, because your work environment sounds toxic.

A toxic workplace impacts every area of your life...even your downtime. However you also have 2 small children so won't have much of an opportunity to recover. This is probadly the toughest parenting phase physically to go through and it does get better once they are older (at least you can rest/sleep more).

Tackle the job first, would you consider supply?

@AttaGirrrrl s post is absolutely spot on. Are you LA or an academy? Some academies are starting to pick and choose which working conditions they adhere to

I'm in a similar position with regards to a month to decide on resignation. Use your days off to have a look at other schools, other positions, other courses and training to get yourself to where you want to be. You'll be too busy to keep checking for emails
The sentence "I am unavailable on those days" is your friend.

OP have you seen your GP, you could be suffering PND

I work in secondary and staff would never be approached on their day off. Do you have the correct amount of PPA time? Have you spoken to your union rep?

Yes I checked my PPA I have the number I’m supposed to for a part time teacher. The other teachers I have spoken to have lots of free periods (some have a whole day of no teaching) as they are under timetabled so are used for cover sometimes. If I was full time it would be so much easier. Management don’t see this and don’t even consider that other teachers literally have 2 hours free a day to get things done whereas I have one PPA for the entire week!

Anyone considering part time teaching I would say no, doing supply in days you want to work is fo much better.

Sounds awful, can you become a private home tutor, plenty of children home educated these days.
I am a single parent l used to work for the civil service before l had my children. Now l work part time in a supermarket, start early, finish early, then the rest of the day is mine and l don't give it a second thought. The staff there are lovely, money obviously not so good but l manage ok. I had really bad anxiety and panic in my job at Civil Service, no amount of money is worth that.
I really hope you change jobs and thing get better for you.

I work part time - I do accept some meetings outside of my working days if I think it's beneficial for me, but generally decline.
If you belong to a union, you should have a union rep, even though not one from your work place - contact them if you need support, or the union HQ if you're not sure who it is.
You sound stressed - have you discussed this with your GP? If you're signed off from work for a while before this "notice window", that may help you assess the situation while you're away from the workplace?

Are you the only member of staff part time?

I’m presuming not. So why don’t you chat with the others, who will be in same situation as you, and you approach management together. No high drama. But carefully thought out and articulated.

And surely some full timers will appreciate the part time burden as they witness for themselves, and also join you and your part time colleagues in trying to establish some change

Have you actually spoken to anyone about this?

Aside from mumsnet

@Saladovercrispsanyday yes there are other part times. I’ve spoken to 3 others. 2 exactly feel like me and have young children so cannot attend meetings. Difference is I think they have decided to leave end of year and are actively looking whereas I’m not.

The other part timer has kids in school and didn’t request part time - the school did to save money and she does all her planning etc. On days off whereas us with young kids can’t do this snd she doesn’t mind coming in on days off which makes the rest of us look bad as management think she can so we should too.

No one will really stand up to management. It’s an academy so they have their own rules not governed by LA. I think what makes me doubt myself and got me to post on here was my thinking that maybe I am making a fuss as DH and mum seem to think I am. DH as he works in city he thinks my job hours are doable anyway regardless if I get asked to come in on my day off and mum is the generation that I should just shut up and get on with my job.

I don’t speak to anyone else apart from a few times I’ve spoken to the other part timers.

I think deep down I’m not happy with a lot of things in that school which is magnifying my anger at being asked to attend training/meetings on day off. If I genuinely was happy and content there I would either find childcare and go for the 2 hour meeting or decline a d forget about it, not let resentment and anger build up at their cheek.

I started in January this year so have done 2 whole terms and this is my 3rd term. I keep thinking things will get better, maybe they will , maybe they won’t. I do feel a sense of dread going there a d didn’t in any of my last places. I just can’t put my finger on why I feel this way.

How frequently are you being called in

You say that two part timers are in same boat as you. You think they’re job hunting. Talk to them! Pick this issue apart, identify and document precisely what the issues are.

And then ask for a meeting with management.

You are a professional adult OP. If you want to change this situation, you need to approach this issue as such.

@Saladovercrispsanyday thank you. Yes you’re right we need to do this!