Am I overreacting or being unreasonable?

[Jas123321]

Just had a bit of an argument with my partner. I asked him if he would get up with our son tomorrow as I’ve had a bit to drink tonight and feeling it as I’ve worked the last 2 nights (8pm until 8am), and only have had 4 hours sleep today after the night shift. His reply was “no way, team work as I’ve had a bit to drink too.” Neither of us are drunk really as he’s only had a few bottles of beer, no more than 5 small bottles, but I have had almost a full bottle of wine. A bit annoyed really as last week, when I got in from a night shift Saturday morning, he was tired as our son got up at 3am for a bit, so I let him have a lie in while I gave our som breakfast, and got him dressed, then woke my partner up at 10am so I could go to sleep because my partner had to leave at 2pm to go to a golf competition. He was also staying out after that competition and didn’t come home until 1am. Nothing wrong with that for me, but, I had been with our son from 2pm until his bedtime at 8pm, with only under 4 hours sleep, and my partner was too hungover to get up the next morning, and I was still feeling the effects of the lack of sleep from the 3 night shifts I had just done. He also had to go back to sleep during the day because he was so hungover, even though he didn’t drink that much as he says, as well as his friend who played and stayed out with him had to get up with his child that morning as the mum had to work her first night shift of the week. And now I’m asking for a bit of a lie in tomorrow and he’s telling me no, because he’s been up with our son this morning at 7am while I was working. Who else was going to get up with him? We both get up together during the week because he works from home, and we both get our son ready for school. But obviously when I have worked a night shift he has to get up on his own with our son and start getting him ready because I’m still working until 8. I then get home and prepare our son’s lunchbox and take him to school. But on a Saturday I get home, have breakfast with them both, then go to sleep until mid-day, and I feel this is where my partner gets jealous, or thinks he does more with our son, because I sleep until mid-day on a Saturday, but I have been up all night working!! He say’s he never gets a lie in, well neither do I! Yes I sleep in the day, for 3-4 hours, after a 12 hour night shift!!!

Sorry I’ve gone on, I’m just so mad! AIBU, or I’m I right for feeling so annoyed?!

You're both unreasonable for drinking that much when you're in charge of a baby.

Sorry, child.

Yep, this ^^

Perhaps if the pair of you drank a little less you could resolve things a bit better or get up earlier .

YANBU OP. Instead of weighing up who had how much sleep look at how much leisure time you each get.

It sounds like perhaps you and your partner both need to have a good think, followed by a talk about how your son is getting in the way of your drinking and managing hangovers! I think that’s the issue here, rather than who should be able to avoid getting up with your son to sleep off the booze!

Oh do fuck off with your judgment about the off having a few drinks!!!

Op, you're right, it's not fair. But it's not a discussion to be had with both of you with alcohol in you - save it for a time when you're both sober, and not tired.

You should have had the conversation about who was looking after your son when, long before either of you had anything to drink.

A bottle of wine and a couple of bottles of beer? People would want to get a grip and stop being so judgemental its the end of her working week and she is allowed gave a drink. I would get up with son in the morning and quote "team work" the next time partner thinks he is off out for a game of golf.
Working nights is no joke but your first mistake is just sleeping for a couple of hours when you come off shift . As it becomes expected that while he gets his 8hrs sleep you just get 4 and are supposed to function the same as him. I think you'll find if you spoke about this kind of approach going forward in the morning he would probably say he was only joking about your lie in.

He sounds like a dick.
Going to sleep after working nights is not the same as going to sleep after pissing about enjoying yourself for the day.
You need to explain this clearly to him and nip it in the bud now.

Honestly? A few drinks on Saturday night? Some folk on here sole purpose is to act holier than thou and look down on others, terrible trait.

I’ve worked nights now for 14 years, I feel your pain. But truth be told, unless your partner works nights he will never ever understand the utter exhaustion they evoke. It’s a fog that only fellow night workers can appreciate, and it never lifts, even on your days off.

YANBU, try to have a discussion with your husband today but do prepare for him to be about how much ‘sleep you get’!

Draw up a schedule of who's in charge of what when. And then whoever's in charge of the child, don't get too drunk to handle that responsibility properly during the time that you have it.

YANBU because I think when you get into this reductive tit-for-tat about who’s doing the most childcare, nobody wins. But agree with other posters that if you’re having regular conversations about who’s the least hungover and should be the one who gets up, then that’s not sustainable.

Night shifts are grim and you’re not getting enough sleep, but drinking won’t help that.