Boss asking for evidence of pregnancy

[Libra22]

I’ve just found out I’m 8 weeks pregnant! Which is a bit of a surprise but also very wanted. I perhaps stupidly shared the news with my boss, as I was excited, and it just came out, and now he is asking for ‘proof’ that I am pregnant.

I have only done a home pregnancy test so far, and booked an appointment with my doctor. What do I show him as ‘proof’? Will the doctor give me a note? I feel a bit like he’s pretending this isn’t happening as it will cause him a load of stress!

@Limejuiceandrum

I know you’re excited but don’t tell anyone else and make sure your boss knows it’s entirely confidential

Why on earth shouldn’t she tell people? It’s entirely up to her. Obviously her boss shouldn’t be telling anyone.

OP, is this because your work duties need to change considerably immediately, or something like that? I can vaguely see why a boss might want confirmation that someone wasn’t playing them around for an easy life, but they really should accept your word for it. I’d tell him you’ll give him the MatB1 as soon as you get it for the paperwork, see what he says next.

Why @Limejuiceandrum?

I wouldn’t worry about having told him. I got a lot of morning sickness so told my boss early with both mine as it was just easier to explain any sick leave or in case they saw me keep running to the loo! I asked them not to say anything and they asked if they could tell senior mgrs which I was fine with so they could start thinking of cover if needed. They were good and kept their word and it helped me not having to come up with excuses all the time.

Just tell him not to tell anyone else if you don’t want everyone to know and let him know who you’re happy for him to share with.

Just tell him you'll provide the MATB1 form as soon as you get it.

Make sure he books in your risk assessment ASAP.

People immediately misunderstanding and painting the boss as a monster. You told your employer you are pregnant. He wd assume you told him for a reason (not a chat). So it's now official so has to be recorded as such.

It affects things like the work he gives you so of course you need to give him something "official". Send an email - explain you want it kept confidential and that you;ll give him the form s soon as you get it. (he needs this for a number of reasons). He may have thought that you were telling him because you had the form. I did both together. Many people do.

He’s being a twat. He’s not entitled to any proof of any kind until you get your mat1b form from the midwife, which won’t be for weeks yet.

Keep an eye on this one, sounds like he’s going to be tricky.

@LookMawAPossum

Give him a condom with a hole punched in the end of it.

He sounds like a nightmare.

I’m guessing that sounded better in yout head than it did written down.

simply state there is no proof until you get the matb form and if he doesnt believe you then you then he can google it obviously he could see any scan pics before hand but thats quite personal and rude

Does he just mean you need to put in writing (being kind...)? If so just email and confirm your rough due date and to ask for a meeting to do your pregnancy risk assessment. If that's all he meant then that will do, but if he was being a moron then you can only really give him a still-damp pregnancy test until you get your 12 week scan letter, I guess?

Everyone is assuming he meant it in a nasty way. I'm pretty sure he means just get the relevant paperwork when you can? Maybe he hasn't had a pregnant employee before?

Possibly not, but everyone is quick to assume he's being horrible!

@LookMawAPossum

Give him a condom with a hole punched in the end of it.

He sounds like a nightmare.

Please present him with a positive pregnancy test and when he's taken it announce "I wee-d on it first thing this morning if it's still wet".

That would be the best thing to do he won't ask again

Have never heard of someone asking for 'proof' before - sounds like he needs some HR training

Are you sure he asked for proof ? Like others say you will get a matb1 certificate later on . You don’t need to prove it yet because well there won’t be a baby for several months . So you can either tell boss man it will be a couple more months or but you will most definitely be able to prove it eventually when the baby arrives.

@jamrolypolly

Have never heard of someone asking for 'proof' before - sounds like he needs some HR training

Yes. The only 'proof' that must be provided from a HR perspective (later on) is the MATB1 because this is needed to initiate maternity pay.

When notified of a pregnancy, a manager should book in a risk assessment and direct the colleague to the relevant policies on maternity so they can read through these and come back with any questions. The colleague should be told they are entitled to time off for ante-natal appointments in case they're not aware of this.

There shouldn't be anything else to do at the early stages unless the pregnant colleague asks for any specific support.

@caketiger

I work on HR asking for the form once the midwife gives it to you is totally standard and we mention this to anyone who let's us know they are pregnant no matter how many weeks.

You dont get the MatB1 until you are at least 20 weeks pregnant so pointless asking for proof as early as he has done

Get a note from your mum. 🤣

Is this guy for real?

I would innocently tell hr he has asked for proof and what would they recommend you provide him with. Then they will bollock him and make sure he has some training before he makes any more stupid requests.

Pee on a stick and hand it to him.

Tbf, I worked in an environment (scientific research lab, dealing with potentially teratogenic chemicals) so as soon as I knew I was pregnant I told my line manager and she moved me off any chemical exposure. Even though i was in full PPE all along.
Sometimes proof is needed though

Due to the nature of my job, as soon as you find out you are pregnant, you are sent home on full pay. There is no suitable work in the same sector that passes "the risk assessment". When I found out at 4 weeks last year, I rang HR, they asked for a "verification of pregnancy" form from my GP. Due to covid my surgery wouldn't see me, but HR did accept the email from my surgery.
Speaking to colleagues, this step was brought in as the system was getting abused. |
Maybe this is what they are asking for?

id be nipping into the toilets just before starting , having a wee on a new pregnancy stick and then trotting into his office to hand it to him all nice and fresh ,saying oh iv brought the proof you wanted

Why are people automatically ascribing malice to the OPs boss when we have very little context to go on as to what was actually said?

The OPs boss could be a misogynistic dick but he could also be inexperienced or the OP may work in an environment where she needs to be removed from her normal duties as soon as they are aware of a pregnancy (like the poster above who had to be immediately sent home) but they need more than just someone saying "I'm pregnant".

I work in a supermarket, we get paid time off for medical appointments (2hrs per appointment/3 appointments per year, anything else has to be unpaid/annual leave) but I can't just waltz in and say "I have a hospital appointment tomorrow at 10am so I won't be in work till 12pm" I have to provide proof of the appointment, by way of letter/confirmation or reminder text etc, for it to be authorised.