Aibu to go to a therapist?

[Whototalkto1]

I am not sure if I need to see a therapist and get some kind of counselling.

I am holding onto a lot of upset, hate, regret but above all worry and anxiety surrounding an incident that happened. What happened cannot be changed, I can’t take back the past and had I have known at the time I would have put measures in place to prevent this happening.

I realise this is all very vague. But it is extremely outing.

How do you find out who you need to speak to? I don’t know what category it falls under. I don’t really know what I want from it all.

As you can tell.. I’m very confused and it’s starting to consume me.

The best place to start is with a chat with your GP. They will be able to refer you for counselling, talking therapy, CBT etc., whichever they/you feel would be most helpful, although there are usually waiting lists.

Alternatively, if you can afford to go private, you could look for a local therapist who deals with the area of trauma you have experienced, or who deals specifically with your issue (i.e. anxiety). Wait times are likely to be much shorter than waiting for the NHS services (which are excellent in my experience, but like everything else, overstretched and under resourced).

Good luck, I hope you are able to access the help you need.

I would contact your GP.

I had bereavement Counselling for over a year after the traumatic death of my dd.
It wasn't easy at the time but counselling really did help me move forward.

Definitely contact your gp ASAP

speak to your GP - but also check what your local provision is - my NHS trust has self referral for MH issues. Just google the name of your local NHS trust and "mental health" - if yours is GP referral, website will tell you, if self referral, it may save time.
You may also find that local charities have some provision to either free or low cost therapy.

Of course YANBU @Whototalkto1, you are being very sensible.

It is useful and liberating to unpack your thoughts and get help sorting them out. Speak to your GP and see what's available where you are. It sounds like Person Centred focused therapy would be beneficial, but the most important thing is that you connect with the therapist. If going private, do not be afraid to check them out and choose who you think you "click" with.

Sounds like therapy would be really beneficial for you! I was fortunately able to access therapy privately for something not dissimilar - I went to www.bacp.co.uk/ and searched for therapists with experience in the area I needed help with near me, picked a few which looked good, spoke to them on the phone and had two sample sessions with the ones top of my list. I still see the therapist I gelled with and it has been enormously helpful, I’m a much stronger person now.

I'm sure PP suggesting the GP are well meaning but waiting lists are ridiculous (think, 6 months absolute minimum - I've been waiting 2 years so far) and they don't match you to what's actually appropriate. They just fob you off with whatever their trust has budget for at that time. Usually CBT because it's short term and therefore cheap (It can be wonderful for some problems but less so for others) Or some kind of generic online bs. I can't afford better but if you can I'd recommend bypassing the GP all together.

Read up on CBT, person centred, psychodynamic and hypnotherapy and see which you feel is best suited to what you need. Then start to look at BPS registry for potential therapists that offer that type of therapy. I'd start with maybe 5 or 6 to speak to over the phone.

Be prepared to have an initial meeting with a couple before settling on one. If it doesn't feel right, be honest and move on.

I had private therapy many years ago and had three first meetings before I settled on the right one.

Thank you all for your help and input. I really appreciate it and feel like I’m being abit dramatic as it is in the past, cannot be changed and I just have to deal with it.

My next query/question is how do I know which kind of therapist to go for? They all seem to focus on different areas and I’m not entirely sure what my problems fall under.

Any guidance on who? Luckily I can afford private, so I can get the ball rolling quickly and get these issues dealt with.

Yanbu I did the same - spoke to a professional because I felt very stuck with all these negative emotions and destructive patterns and was unable to articulate what was actually wrong.
I just chose a local centre and chose a counsellor I liked the look/sound of!

PPs are incorrect, you can access talking therapies fairly quickly on the NHS nowadays. Google your home town and 'IAPT' (improving access to psychological therapies) and you'll find your local free providers. You could always have an assess with someone to figure out what's going on confidentially, then decide if you want to progress with them or go private. Waitlists for my service is about 3 weeks.

Assessment

The therapist I chose is a psychodynamic therapist but I honestly don’t think that was anywhere near as important as feeling comfortable with him. I will say it took me quite a long time to be able to talk about the incident (and I vomited in the poor man’s waste paper basket) so don’t expect too much from yourself straight away. 💐