Due date & drinking

[Reduceddutiesboredom]

Our social calendar has blown up for the next few months - lots dinners, drinks, and a wedding planned. All events DH & I (pre-pregnancy) would normally drink at. DH will probably go to/ show face at most of these events, I’m not sure what I’ll go to, depends how I feel on the days I guess.

DH asked me last night if he should give up drinking until after baby arrives incase I go into labour early/ something happens. I’m due in 8 weeks, and I hadn’t even thought about this and just looking for advise really/ if/ when your other half went tea total.

So
YABU - drink all the pints
YWNBU - water from now on

Well it depends on a few things really - whether you can get yourself to hospital if necessary, exactly how much he's planning to drink, whether you have an alternative birthing partner if he's too drunk, whether you'd ever forgive him if that happened

I can't see how this is an issue unless you're both used to drinking till you both pass out or become ridiculously drunk.

Unless he's planning on drinking until he blacks out, I can't see it being an issue. If he's out and you need to get somewhere, you can call a taxi.

8weeks, that's 2-3 months until baby! DH stopped drinking more than a pint at week 39! He was in another country on a stag do at week 36!

From 36 weeks he needs to be able to drive if you are not able to get taxis. Depends how far you are from hospital etc

Dh stopped drinking both times 3 weeks before my due date

He wouldn’t be getting that drunk that he couldn’t be birthing partner- but obviously couldn’t drive.

It was more for logistics if he had to rely on public transport/ taxis to get back/ to hospital it would take longer. I’d be fine if I couldn’t drive myself - I have friends and family local who could be back up if DH wasn’t local anyway.

Yes depends on what state he gets himself into and alternative ways you could get to hospital.
If you're low risk, the vast majority of births happen after term so I'd suggest waiting til 37 weeks or the last month.
If he has suggested it then it obviously isnt something that really bothers him so I'd take up his offer (though delay it a bit). I had horrible long labours and kept having to pop into hospital to be checked and was in a lot of pain, I wouldn't have been happy without my husband there for practical and emotional support and wouldnt have been impressed if he could have made it in with me but was drunk'/ hungover when I needed him most. Just because in theory you can do it all by yourself doesnt mean you should risk it. And not drinking for a month is hardly a massive ask when you've not been for 9 months

I think it depends on where you live. If you are an hour from the hospital, and live somewhere that taxis aren't available 24/7 then probably should consider that soon.

If you are close to the hospital, or have easy access to alternative transport, then you are probably fine until much closer.

If he's out and you need to get somewhere, you can call a taxi

That depends where you live. It took me 2.5 hours to get a taxi recently.

I would say he should stop drinking at about 4 weeks out. Unless you have any particular concerns about premature labour.

I cannot think of anything more disappointing than having the father at the birth if he had been drinking, but I cannot stand people under the influence if I am not, even on a good day!

I think it would be a good idea for him to give up soon , taxis are difficult to get due to driver shortages.
Sounds like he's willing and offering to anyway so not a big deal

My DH used to travel a lot with work (west Africa for 3-4 days at a time) and I asked him to stay in the Uk from about 36 weeks. As it happens DD was breech and I had a late planned section at 40+5, but that was only planned 2-3 days before. He stopped having more than a glass or two at around 38 weeks I think?

It's a nice idea, shows support etc plus it's a great way to detox, get some early nights in too.

We basically came to the agreement that DP would stay under the limit for driving after 37 weeks.

My husband stopped drinking when I was 37 weeks.

Yeh 37 weeks

My partner stopped drinking when I was 37 weeks. We live an hour (minimum) from the hospital and he wanted to make sure he was always sober incase. I went into labour at 39+5

Mine didn't have more than 1 drink after 36 weeks. Any sign of labour was emergency for us as I was having a c section. Baby was born 38+3 so was wise

Thanks everyone!

Not overly concerned about early labour, yet. Bump was measuring in the 98th centile at my last MW appointment, back next week so will know more then.

I reckon 36/7 weeks will be his last drink - pretty sure the legal limit is less than a pint now anyway.

Both times my DH went easy from about 36/37 weeks and tee total from about 39.

It wouldn't have crossed my mind to curtail my DH's activities . No point both of you missing out . There may be times when the baby is born when you have to compromise. As long as you are near enough to the hospital to get a taxi if he is over the limit I wouldn't worry.

Not everyone owns a car

@yikesanotherbooboo
It wasn’t something I’d thought about either, someone at work was telling him that his partner was annoyed if he drank at all during her pregnancies!
We’re about half an hour away from hospital and I’m not worried about being able to get a lift or taxi if DH isn’t with me (he could be at work for all we know). I’m sure it’ll be fine!

I didn't give a deadline to my partner and in fact sent him off for night with his friends on my due date. While he was on his way home - my waters broke. He sobered up pretty quickly! So a POV from a different perspective plus my labour didn't actually start for another day