Picking up toddler whilst pregnant

[garrybubblo]

Does anyone have any advice on this ? I'm only in very early pregnancy. My toddler weighs around 13 KG and I keep doing my back in. I have a sensitive lower back anyway. I'm trying to lift him as little as possible, but it's tricky. I usually only hurt my back when I've really done a lot of lifting. I'm trying to do as little as possible, but it's really aggravating it.

I'm struggling with days out at the park etc. It's absolutely exhausting. I feel like I'm constantly overdoing it.

I'm trying to lift from knees and engage core each time etc.

I think that you should see a physio to understand what is wrong with your back

It’ll get worse as you get bigger. Currently 41 weeks pregnant with toddler DC and it’s hell, not going to lie.

Have you got someone at home who can do most of the lifting for you? You’ll probably need to tone down the activities as time goes on.

@Dishwashersaurous I have a small disk herniation. I've done physio. I usually manage it really well by doing strength training. I had no issues whatsoever in my last pregnancy. But I was very precious and never lifted anything heavy at all. I can't really avoid that this time!

I actually think there needs to be more education about lifting safely etc. I had bad SPD. Every other lady in my group class had a toddler which the physio said would have no doubt contributed. There were loads of tips and techniques that would have been useful for all pregnant women.

What was the plan before you got pregnant this time?

If you knew that you couldn't lift what did you plan would happen?

You just need to not lift your child. Which is really difficult when they are so young.

Teach them now how to climb in and out the buggy so you don't lift.
Your partner does all bed and bath. Etc

@Dishwashersaurous I didn't expect it to flare up at all. It doesn't usually flare up when I lift my child. It must be flaring up because my joints are looser or something to do with pregnancy hormones.

I thought I would be fine and maybe suffer from SPD again like last pregnancy.

I'm early 3rd trimester with a 2 year old around the same weight as yours. I have terrible pelvic girdle pain, a herniated disc and sciatica. Do you have a support belt? I don't find it especially helpful, but it's the first thing my physiotherapist suggested.

I'd try and get an early referral in for physio - I know you said you have done it previously, but now you're pregnant they may be able to give more specific advice. I'm having fortnightly soft tissue massage treatments. I don't find the effects last especially long, but it buys me an afternoon or if I'm lucky a whole day of less pain, which is worth it to me. I'll probably up it to weekly towards the end.

In practical terms, I'd say rope in as much help as you can. My husband has been doing way more than his fair share to give me time to rest and recover, and my mum sometimes takes her for a day over the weekend.

How old is your toddler? Can they walk?
What are the situations that you most often find yourself lifting them?

The support belt and physio is a great idea, thank you !

My child is 20 months old. It's mostly getting in and out of pram/ cot/ high chair/ swing in the playground/ slide/ car seat.

Also just general walking around with him. He's terrible if you're not going the way he wants to go and throws himself on the floor. So there's a lot of picking him up off the floor. I really don't know how to stop that. That's for another thread though...

Definitely start trying to teach him to climb in and out of the carseat and pram. I started working on this with my little one at around 21 months and she rarely needs my help with this now. Does your son's cot convert to a toddler bed, and would you consider an earlier transition to that so that he can get himself in and out?

If my agenda doesn't quite line up with my little one, I try to offer acceptable (to me) choices, which helps avert tantrums. E.g. we can't go that way today, but we can walk over here, or mummy can carry you?

We also have one of those trikes with a parent handle and she loves riding on it. We're in control of direction so much quicker to get places than the wandering! bobbinbikes.com/collections/junior-kids-bikes/products/messenger-tricycle

OK. Got it. You poor thing.

Also.weridly it might get slightly better once you're further along and it settles down and you grow.

So for the next couple of months you just need to do everything where you don't pick him up. Eg he climbs into buggy and you go for a long walk in the buggy and he stays in the buggy, even if he wants to walk. He won't like it but just going to have to cope for a bit. So basically don't let him walk if there's any choice over where to go and you might need to pick him up. Eg walk as much as he likes in garden at home but out any about stays in the buggy

And partner does all beds and baths.

It's hard and there isnt much you can do, some situations you will need to pick them up. I'd just try and avoid it as much as possible.
I'd suggest convert your pram into a buggy or buy a cheap lightweight buggy thats lower to the ground so he can climb in
Buy a little table and chairs so he can eat at his 'own' table rather than the high chair or have an indoor picnic or something.
Let him nap somewhere else like your bed and put a box or something under it so he can climb up. If your partner is around in the evenings and can put him in his cot.
You might have to avoid the swings in the park, they are the worst for lifting. Or try other activities with less lifting - swimming, trampolining etc

@garrybubblo

The support belt and physio is a great idea, thank you !

My child is 20 months old. It's mostly getting in and out of pram/ cot/ high chair/ swing in the playground/ slide/ car seat.

Also just general walking around with him. He's terrible if you're not going the way he wants to go and throws himself on the floor. So there's a lot of picking him up off the floor. I really don't know how to stop that. That's for another thread though...

I'd stop using the high chair and cot then (or not during the day when it is only you around) - they can sit on the floor to eat, have a picnic in the living room. And let them nap on the sofa or a cushion on the floor.

Get him to climb into the push chair himself. If he isn't a good walker just keep him in the push chair - his dad can take him out for a run around at the weekend.
Use bribery to get him to climb back in the push chair again - raisins or chocolate buttons.

No more swings at the park - again, that can be a daddy job - and let him do the slide himself without lifting.

Thanks so much everyone. These are really great suggestions. I definitely need to change how I do most things !

Best idea is actually to plan as though you can't lift to not give yourself a choice.

Eg if you broke your arm you actually couldn't use it because it's in a cast

But you can't put your back in a cast but mentally you need to do the same for the few months

I feel you pain. I'm 37 weeks and feel that my toddler has only just finally accepted finally that I definitely can't lift him! He's 3 so a bit older.

I hurt my back badly at the beginning of pregnancy and have been pretty militant since then. It's not easy but possible. He climbs into his car seat, uses a step for everything, he has a flannel bath on the nights that my husband is not around, he knows that mummy can't lift him on the swings. He is such a good Walker and is super tall/heavy for his age so we would not need a pram but I bring it everywhere as if he decides to be 3 and not walk then I don't have to carry him. He's had a couple of epic tantrums at the beginning of my pregnancy, the classic lying on the floor in the middle of the shop making a big scene. If I could lift him, then I might have scooped him up but I can't do have to just say "bye bye, mummy's off" and walk away from him. Definitely felt mum judged by other shoppers but he now no longer does this!

The reason that I've been so militant is that I ended up with a csection with my son and I know of a couple of people who became very unwell with sepsis post c section from lugging a toddler and bursting stitches. I stopped viewing lifting him as an option, so that if I have a repeat c section then I have already put in the ground work!