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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stressing over Christmas

148 replies

Thatusernameisalreadytaken · 17/09/2021 09:51

I have a DS13, He has most things that any 13 year old has, Switch, PS5, Phone, Fitbit watch, bike,...(These have been Birthday/Christmas gifts)Which means I have no idea what to get him this year for Christmas. I can't even think of stocking fillers. I will get him some books as he enjoys reading, (Prefers paper books, to a Kindle) Other than that...Not a clue. I'm starting to panic now and don't want to end up getting "just something" AIBU to ask what you are all getting your DC's this year?

OP posts:
BobsBurgersisthebest · 17/09/2021 12:02

Merlin Pass.

DrGoogleSaysSo · 17/09/2021 12:31

[quote XelaM]@DrGoogleSaysSo It's amazing and we aren't even Harry Potter fans. My cousin gave us two tickets for free as she couldn't go and I'm so glad we went! It was truly special!![/quote]
Lucky you!!! I'm sure my dd is going to love it too Grin

ManifestDestinee · 17/09/2021 12:34

[quote HopeForTheBestExpectTheWorst]Actually, yes I do think it's pretty standard that most 13yos will have a phone, and a watch (doesn't have to be a FitBit but that suggests that there is at least some interest in activity and not just sitting at a screen all day as has been repeatedly suggested), a bike which again is not tech at all.

Most kids will have either their own or access to a laptop/pc - how on earth could htey have done homeschooling this last year and half otherwise?

The only really techy things which might not be standard imo are the Switch and PS5, but again, many, many teens have a gaming console of some kind and if that is something that they particularly enjoy then having a second handheld device surely isn't all that astonishing?

The judging and moral outrage on this thread is ridiculous.

Also, the cost is relative to how much you have or want to spend. So again, yes, I reckon most 13yos will have a phone, a watch, a gaming console of some kind and their own laptop or tablet.

In fact, I've just looked up the gov. statistics:

88% of 12-year-olds own phone

At age six, 85% of children say they have access to a tablet at home, and 40% have their own.

And over 50% age 12 have own laptop

From here: yougov.co.uk/topics/education/articles-reports/2020/03/13/what-age-do-kids-get-phones-tablet-laptops-[/quote]
You're determined to miss the point. Sure, most 13 year olds have a phone of some sort and a bike. But they do not all have both those AND their own laptop AND their own PS5 AND their own Switch AND a Fitbit.

I think you know that and the fact that you are quoting stats about one of those things instead of commenting about the total is weird. There are 13 year olds in the UK that have none of those things, and not even enough food to eat. The blind privilige of insisting that all teens have every new and expensive tech is too much.

Easternfells · 17/09/2021 12:35

My 13 year old will probably change his mind several times before Christmas, so while I’m generally quite over the top in Christmas preparation, I am likely to not buy my children’s main presents until a month before. From my point of view, I like to make sure that one of their presents can definitely be played with inside on Christmas Day itselt.

BoredZelda · 17/09/2021 12:54

Your kid can have whatever you want him to, that's entirely your business. But it will annoy people if you say that all 13 year olds are as lucky as yours is.

She didn’t say all, she said any. I.e, typical teenage stuff. Getting bogged down in those semantics just to remind everyone for the millionth time that there are people who are disadvantaged isn’t going to help the OP. Instead of derailing this thread, why not start a discussion about that?

ManifestDestinee · 17/09/2021 12:56

@BoredZelda

Your kid can have whatever you want him to, that's entirely your business. But it will annoy people if you say that all 13 year olds are as lucky as yours is.

She didn’t say all, she said any. I.e, typical teenage stuff. Getting bogged down in those semantics just to remind everyone for the millionth time that there are people who are disadvantaged isn’t going to help the OP. Instead of derailing this thread, why not start a discussion about that?

Nope. She said , He has most things that any 13 year old has, Switch, PS5, Phone, Fitbit watch, bike

Any 13 year old does not have all of those things. Most in fact.

HopeForTheBestExpectTheWorst · 17/09/2021 12:59

No actually, I think that the stats show that if most kids have each of those things then it is only logical that there's going to be a significant overlap as to how many have all of them.

I would say that from my personal experience and everything that I see and read (including on here), having those things is not in any way unusual for most teens these days. And that stats back that up.

It's not blind privilege to state that. And it doesn't mean that I don't acknowledge that of course there are children who have a lot less, either because their parents can't afford it or choose not to buy those things.

You want me to be outraged that the OP's 13yo son has all those things, but actually there's nothing even slightly shocking about it.

ManifestDestinee · 17/09/2021 13:03

You want me to be outraged that the OP's 13yo son has all those things, but actually there's nothing even slightly shocking about it

Not even slightly. I want you, and OP, to understand that it is not the standard for all 13 year olds to have so much expensive tech. I guess you can't see out of your own bubble though....

Thatusernameisalreadytaken · 17/09/2021 13:04

Thanks everyone, I think I'll take a look at the experience days, The driving ones are definitely a good idea.

OP posts:
kaleidoscopeheartless · 17/09/2021 13:05

Most children I know that age do have a lot of technology. My 10 year old has a ps4, iPhone, tablet, switch etc. He is getting a ps5 for Christmas and a laptop next year for high school work. Like OP said they were Christmas and birthday presents.

Is he into sport OP?

HopeForTheBestExpectTheWorst · 17/09/2021 13:06

@ManifestDestinee
Any 13 year old does not have all of those things. Most in fact.

But they do! Just because you find it distasteful doesn't mean it's not true.

74% of 12-15yo own a gaming console.
(www.statista.com/statistics/274416/availability-of-game-consoles-and-players-to-children-in-the-home-in-the-uk-by-age-group/)

Taken together with the other stats I posted earlier, it's clear that most young teens do indeed own all of these things:

88% of 12-year-olds own phone
over 50% age 12 have own laptop
74% have own gaming console

I'm not going to keep on looking up stats, but I think it's a fair bet that most also own a bike and a watch too.

pippapoo62 · 17/09/2021 13:12

How about a gaming chair ,gaming keyboard a high end mouse . Been on Amazon and I have just bought my son a large mouse mat that covers his desk . Other things to consider would be Lego ,a few pop figures ,books . My son is older and it just gets worse every year on what to buy him .

Thatusernameisalreadytaken · 17/09/2021 13:12

Please edit my post to say "MOST 13 year olds I know...." instead of "Any..." 🙄
Some people can really get hung up on one word, and maybe take things a little to literal

OP posts:
severusvape · 17/09/2021 13:17

Oodie
AirPods
Hotel Chocolat hot chocolate maker
Popcorn/waffle maker
Lego
Sports clothes
Trainers
Game for console
Experience days- driving, zoo, Go Ape

buckeejit · 17/09/2021 13:18

I just got lion king tickets for dd8 last night-we'll go with her friend & mum so it will be a full day out/weekend

StoneofDestiny · 17/09/2021 13:23

Buy a book club subscription - I was bought one and get a surprise book delivered every month having filled out a survey of what type of books I like. Love it.
Buy him an experience instead of a thing. A day looking after a zoo animal, clay pigeon shooting, night sky watching or whatever he’d not otherwise do

StoneofDestiny · 17/09/2021 13:24

….but it’s only September!

Thatusernameisalreadytaken · 17/09/2021 13:25

@StoneofDestiny

Buy a book club subscription - I was bought one and get a surprise book delivered every month having filled out a survey of what type of books I like. Love it. Buy him an experience instead of a thing. A day looking after a zoo animal, clay pigeon shooting, night sky watching or whatever he’d not otherwise do
The day as a zoo keeper as given me an idea, He is badger mad (no idea why) maybe I could look in to adopting one?
OP posts:
hulahooper2 · 17/09/2021 13:26

Clothes or money , can’t he tell you what he wants

Thatusernameisalreadytaken · 17/09/2021 13:26

@StoneofDestiny

….but it’s only September!
Yes, and only 99 days to go. I have to start early as I don't have the money in one go to get it all in December
OP posts:
WouldBeGood · 17/09/2021 13:32

I once took my DCs badger watching

123sunshine · 17/09/2021 13:32

As for the gaming PC, it is a natural progression, my son got one around 13....however here is the but, it is a big expesive present, so I didn't buy it for him outright. Every birthday and xmas he gets money from family and friends and i've always put this away in an account for when kids want a big ticket items, rather than just be allowed to fritter on rubbish. So the year he wanted the gaming PC, I gave him some cash, as did his dad, grandparesnts etc and this added to the savings he'd accumalated from previous xmas and birthdays meant that he could get it, we purchased in advance so he had it to open ont he day, whilst not a suprose it was exactly what he wanted and appreciated it was a gift that I wouldn't have paid for outright. As for ideas for now, when they've got a lot of stuff, experience days, show/concert tickets/sports tickets depends on their interests. Designer trainers/clothes are often popular with teenagers (though depends onthe individual and you getting their taste right).

sHREDDIES19 · 17/09/2021 13:35

Wow harsh, uncalled for comments here! So bitchy, judgemental and there's no need. Not that the op has to justify, but assume her ds started getting these big ticket pressies from around 10, that's a birthday and Christmas each year, so by my reckoning one big present at each occasion, if that. Anyway, back to the actual point of this thread (ahem) my ds is a little younger and I agree it gets way harder as they get older. Some very useful suggestions from @LolaBaby75 which I might just steal.

2bazookas · 17/09/2021 13:35

Maybe the best thing you could give him, is a a reality update and less materialistic outlook.

BoredZelda · 17/09/2021 13:47

Nope. She said , He has most things that any 13 year old has, Switch, PS5, Phone, Fitbit watch, bike

You just quoted what she said, which is exactly as I said. “Any” meaning “typically”, meaning the kind of things a teenager of his age might typically have or want. She did not say “all teenagers have all these things”

You might have interpreted it to fit your narrative (and that of MN) that suggesting not every person in the U.K. is struggling is highly offensive and is somehow showy or braggy or lacking in awareness that people are starving somewhere in the world, but it has been clarified that this wasn’t what was meant so why not just accept that and move on instead of banging on about it?