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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To place a PALs complaint toward hospital.

56 replies

Pcosfighter67 · 17/09/2021 07:23

Hi all,
A little bit about me, I have pcos and have been trying for 4 years for my first child, been under a fertility and clomid is unsuccessful.
Last October they said I needed an operation on my ovaries (day surgery ovarian drilling) and that I would have before Christmas. Every month they have pushed it along, I was othered a last minute date last month for it to be taken away just 24 hours later. Now I'm being told that the operation will be next year.
Im heartbroken, because of the huge set back im yet again another 12months before we even have a chance of conceiving and we've had to put or 2023 wedding on hold for a year due to the set back too.
AIBU to put in a PALs complaint? The toll its taking on me constantly being let down when I was told to would be before Christmas last year is soul destroying. I feel like I'm not very pushy on the phone and because I don't "fight back" I'm an easy one to palm off.

OP posts:
Canii · 17/09/2021 13:07

@DamnUserName21 tax/NI deducted from your salary isn’t the only contribution your money makes towards the government’s money pot.
What other taxes are there? Fuel, business/corporatation (who pass on to customer), VAT on everything you buy or any service you receive, stamp duty, capital gains, inheritance tax.
Not to mention council tax. A lifetime contributing to all those things add up to huge amounts.

CharlotteRose90 · 17/09/2021 13:21

I understand why you want to complain but considering the year we’ve just had I think you’d be wrong too. Even life saving operations are being pushed back and yours is definitely not life saving. If you really can’t wait I suggest you go private. My friends had to wait 6 months so far for a cancer operation and she hasn’t moaned once.

RedToothBrush · 17/09/2021 13:28

What do you seek to achieve with this complaint?

Is that goal realistic/achievable?

Have your NHS Trust done everything they can to try and reschedule your care?

What mitigating circumstance do they have and have their delays been unavoidable?

Is your complaint likely to be successful?

Normally, I'd encourage complaints if you feel your care has been poor, but it doesn't sound like you have been treated unfairly or badly - just delayed. And it doesn't sound like its life threatening, thus is lower priority whilst they clear more serious issues. That makes me question whether it would change anything or improve your situation and might just give you additional stress.

I sympathetise, but the point of complaints is in response to poor care / to get change.

In this situation as much as it sucks, you are kind of stuffed as I doubt there is very much that can be done to resolve the situation but to wait or go private if you can.

Ultimately, your issues are not the most serious and there aren't enough staff and thats the bottom line. If they push you forward that has knock on effects on other patients. And they have a duty of care to them too. So they have no choice but to prioritise on the basis of need - and that means life threatening conditions come first not fertility treatment.

Being pushy isn't going to change the situation under the circumstances. There simply are too many other people in similar or worse situations.

Making a complaint isn't going to make you feel better or help anyone sadly.

Greenhand · 17/09/2021 13:56

OP - I have a lot of sympathy. I have PCOS and was luckily to have this diagnosed privately 17 years ago through a laproscopy etc. The wait lists then for NHS treatment were very long and my insurance didn't cover fertility treatment so I went privately, which I was fortunate to do.

Personally, I understand that life saving surgery must come first and the wait lists are horrific. People are dying from waiting for appointments to diagnose as well as late surgery.

At the same time, the mental impact of being left without treatment should not be underestimated or minimised.

I don't pretend to have any answers. The NHS situation is appalling, heartbreaking and extremely worrying. I have no idea how it could possibly improve even if by a miracle staff numbers could be doubled overnight. It's more than broken, it's splintered and fractured despite the staff who work so hard.

OP - I wish you all the best

DamnUserName21 · 17/09/2021 16:14

[quote Canii]@DamnUserName21 tax/NI deducted from your salary isn’t the only contribution your money makes towards the government’s money pot.
What other taxes are there? Fuel, business/corporatation (who pass on to customer), VAT on everything you buy or any service you receive, stamp duty, capital gains, inheritance tax.
Not to mention council tax. A lifetime contributing to all those things add up to huge amounts.[/quote]
I agree with you, Canii.
It does add up to huge amounts but so does the cost of treatments.
As an example, in 2015, annual costs for cancer services alone was £5 billion.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/2010-to-2015-government-policy-cancer-research-and-treatment/2010-to-2015-government-policy-cancer-research-and-treatment

I work in healthcare. I see the cost of treatments and medications. And things are not getting better...more diabetes, more asthma, more heart disease, more COPD, more stress, more MH issues, more wounds, more surgeries. NHS is not sustainable in its current form. I think it will implode.

My advice to everyone is buy health insurance!!!! (No, I don't work for health insurance companies)

Sorry, OP, I digressed from your thread.

scoopgalore · 17/09/2021 16:21

YABU. You’re one of many waiting for surgeries like this, no one is more special than the other. Life saving treatments must come first. Covid sucks but that’s how it is right now

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