Work full time with two young kids. Don’t hate my job but it’s entry level low paid, from home at the moment.
I’m struggling all the time to feel anything other than just numb. My days rush by in a haze of caring for kids, working, clubs for kids, housework.
I can’t sleep tonight and start work in a couple of hours. I feel a constant feeling of anxiety and mind racing. It won’t turn off. Not worried about anything in particular just so fed up of the rat race of life.
OH works long hours in a well paid job. He enjoys it but it’s high pressured. I was a SAHM until 12 months ago. Since then my youngest started school and I’m working. We have a cleaner but I still need to clean and organise everything else.
I long for a slower life where I have time to think. Sometimes I think I can’t sleep because it’s the only time I get to breathe. To have some time to myself. Sometimes I think dying would be easier than living as then I wouldn’t need to endure this life anymore. I do get joy out of my kids but it’s getting less and less. I feel more snappy and agitated. I try to blame it on hormones but it’s not.