If you’ve ever moved to a new area

[Freshasrain]

Can you tell me how you found it?

For context, we currently live in a big, vibrant city and very happy here. We live close to my family who help us with the children when needed, kids adore them however my husband is potentially getting a new job next year which will require relocation. Think, 2.5 hours away. Near the seaside.

I’m excited at the prospect, but also nervous and weirdly already feel a bit home sick even though it’s not happened yet? I am so close with my family, it’ll be alien to me not being able to spend a few minutes popping to see them and them spending frequent time with the kids. I want us to be a family so I’m happy supporting my husband, we have a really good relationship and everything is amazing it’s just going to take a lot of adjustment being in a new area with no friends and to begin with no job (will have to leave my current very flexible part time job and probably wait until youngest is in school before we have ability for me to go back to work).

Has anyone been through similar? Was it easy? How did you feel? I know I should put my big girl pants and I will, its just a big change and weirdly I already feel a bit “lonely” even though it’s not happened yet, and I’m very sociable so will do my best to make new friends. I feel like my heart is and always will be in the city?

Bump :(

Not moved to a new area with kids, but did before. We've always lived in vibrant cities so can't comment on the moving to the seaside part.

Honestly, it was hard. Took a good couple of years to develop a friendship group (though perhaps would be easier with kids?). We're still here and generally quite happy, but it makes me sad that we're so far away from family. I miss them and I feel sad that DC don't have the relationship with their grandparents that their cousins do. Logistically it makes life trickier too - childcare always has to be paid for, annual leave is spent making trips to see family rather than going on holiday.

DH's work is now such that we couldn't really move back, and I resented him for that for some time. I've accepted that this is our life now and we make the best of it (e.g. by prioritising trips back to family over holidays), but if I could move to be closer to family without the impact on his work, I would do it.

Think it's worth asking yourself how you would feel in this situation, and how it would affect your relationship. You sound like you're really close to your family - how are you going to feel if you give that up for your husband then don't like where you end up? Could you get back without it impacting your husband's career prospects, or your DC's education? What's your back up plan if you do it and you're miserable - or worse, one of you loves it and the other doesn't?

Have you visited the area yet? will you be buying or renting and have you looked on RightMove ? are there decent transport links to your home city so family can visit you or you them? There is Facetime and Zoom. You don't say how old your kids are but it's easier to make friends with them, usually, and I haven't met many children who don't like a good beach. Treat it as an adventure. I'm sure you will - and the best of luck.

I move a lot, you'll be fine I'm sure OP! The first thing I do in a new place is join a local walking tour, they have decent information and I've never come away from one without a new friend or two. Then I'll look up local groups for my hobbies to really build up my social circle. There will likely be loads of events or groups to join at the beach!