Friends DM taken over her wedding

[twinkletwinkletwinkletwinckle]

I have a friend whose DM has taken over her wedding planning. Her fiancé is really upset and is going along with it to keep the peace.
AIBU to think this is setting them up for a future where she interferes with everything.
Her DM has even suggested she gets a holiday home close to where they will be living when they are married.
So she is dictating where they have the wedding reception, the service, booking things she knows they don't want it won't like. She's insisting her side have more than twice as many guests than the grooms side. She's even picking the wedding party.
It's painful to watch and I think they're going to have years of her interfering.
I think DM is paying for a lot of it but the groom has offered to pay but he's not paying for all the over the top stuff so he'd only pay for a wedding he'd actually like iyseim. He's not allowed that wedding though.

The groom needs to run far and fast. He will never have a moment's peace if this marriage goes ahead, his wife to be won't put him first.

I'm assuming you're the groom's mother. In which case make sure you're there for him when the wheels fall off. I feel very sorry for the groom.

A friend's mum was like this. Even to the point of forcing a wedding dress my friend didn't like. My friend bought one more to her style in the end and the mum went mental.

My friend also dressed her bridesmaid in the same colour as her mum's outfit as requested.

The mum turned up in a long, dream dress...

Cream!

TheLightSideOfTheMoon
I wouldn’t marry him.
Mummy won’t let him have the wedding he wants? It’ll never end. She’ll dictate everything, forever.

MaryHadALittleDramHicHic
it's the brides mum not the grooms

TheLightSideOfTheMoon
Oh.
Then as PP said, pay for their own wedding or bugger off to Gretna Green and drop the whole thing.

This did make me laugh. Mumsnet is never famous for its symmetrical advice to men and women, but this was a blinder

They could just start from scratch with the wedding and say they want it all to be a surprise, only use the groom’s money as originally intended and don’t tell anyone anything, especially the MOB.

I wouldn’t tolerate that level of interference. When making our wedding arrangements we had family interference. In the end we called the registry office for the next available date and had two friends as witnesses. We’d just had enough, the marriage was far more important to us than the wedding.

No I'm not the grooms mum though the thought made me laugh.
I am just frustrated that they keep nearly standing up for themselves then back down.
I will just have to watch it play out.

@twinkletwinkletwinkletwinckle

No I'm not the grooms mum though the thought made me laugh. I am just frustrated that they keep nearly standing up for themselves then back down. I will just have to watch it play out.

Are you a bridesmaid?

It might be worth gently suggesting your friend stands up for herself if she's comfortable enough with you to call you crying.

@Palavah

Does the bride recognise there's a problem?

If the bride refuses to stand up to her mother then I hope the man runs a mile, MIL problems for the rest of his life otherwise. The bride by allowing this is prioritising her mother over him.

Your friend's being a doormat and she needs to stand up to her mum, or her husband is going to get very sick of her.