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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Partner gone to stay at brothers

18 replies

coopos · 16/09/2021 12:13

Posting here for traffic. Currently 36+3 pregnant, not vaccinated as I am waiting until I've had the baby and plan on having it as soon as I can afterwards. Partner fully vaccinated. He has been with his dad a few times over the past week or so including yesterday. His dad has now tested positive for covid, apparently no symptoms the test was took to be able to fly. I understand he does not need to self isolate a she has been fully vaccinated but I'm still worried about myself and the baby especially as I'm almost full term. He has took some stuff and gone to stay at his brothers house (empty house as he works away). I'm really struggling at the moment and need the support but equally I don't know if he should be around me. Can anyone advise what they would do in this situation? Should he stay at his brothers for 10 days or so? I'm really not sure what's best for myself and baby.

OP posts:

RoseGoldGlasses · 16/09/2021 12:16

Yeah I wouldn't want to be around him tbh.
Do you have family to pop round to keep you company? Help you out?

INeed2P · 16/09/2021 12:20

I think the incubation period is 2 weeks potentially? Would you be happy if he stays at his brothers and does some lateral flow tests / a PCR before coming home?

Aquamarine1029 · 16/09/2021 12:21

You are at very high risk of serious complications from covid. I would be taking every precaution.

WanJames · 16/09/2021 12:27

He needs to stay away…sorry

howlongto · 16/09/2021 12:28

Yeah I would stay well away from him too.

Gorl · 16/09/2021 12:30

You should have had your vaccine! As it is I would have him stay away til he’s had a negative test. You’re not very high risk of serious complications (so ignore that scaremongering PP) but you might as well minimise the risk by having him test.

underneaththeash · 16/09/2021 12:33

I’d get him to stay away too.

ManifestDestinee · 16/09/2021 12:33

What I would do would be to already be vaccinated. But since you aren't, it makes sense for him to stay away from you.

JustKeepSw1mming · 16/09/2021 12:35

I would encourage him to stay away! I would also think about getting a vaccine now - it would mean tour baby would have some protection at birth, and give you some protection before you go into hospital. I had my first vaccine at 37 weeks for the above reasons- had Pfizer and no side effects other than sore arm!

kateg27 · 16/09/2021 12:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Derbee · 16/09/2021 13:02

Never mind needing support now, you need to make plans on what happens if you need to go into hospital to have your baby alone.

Or worse, if you contract Covid (or have done already) and end up very ill in hospital, possibly in intensive care.

The easy answer as to what’s best for your baby, is having a mother that has been vaccinated against diseases which are easily potentially fatal for both of you. But that ship has sailed, so presumably you’re asking for the second best option?

Porcupineintherough · 16/09/2021 13:44

I think criticising the OP for not getting vaccinated is unhelpful. It was her choice to make and it's too late to worry about that now.

That said OP as you aren't vaccinated and COVID is more dangerous in late pregnancy, it would be better for your partner to self isolate away from you until you know he's in the clear. Young as you are, this is not a good time for you to be infected. Even if you had a mild case the worry alone would be terrible.

Do you have a sister or friend who could come and support you?

MeAndZig · 16/09/2021 16:49

Totally agree, this isn’t a post on why OP should be vaccinated and it’s not helpful either. Mother’s were advised to not take the vaccine until recently so it’s understandable why some mothers are not having it. Not helpful to say well if you have it you’ll end up in intensive care. OP I would definitely ask your partner to stay away as it’s too risky . Good luck!

Original poster

coopos · 16/09/2021 17:40

Thank you for the helpful replies, I agree it's really not helpful to grill me on the fact I haven't been vaccinated, that was my choice to wait until the baby is born. One of the replies (which has now been deleted) was really crossing the line.

I have my parents who are a great support and my dad is coming to round to help with a few things round the house and anything I need. He has only took enough took stuff for a few days so I'll probably need to drop some more stuff off. It's not clear in these circumstances looking online how long he should stay away for. Do you think 10 or 14 days?

OP posts:

Porcupineintherough · 16/09/2021 17:47

I'm sure 10 days would be fine. Very few people take longer than 10 days to show signs of infection. He should do a few lateral flows whilst he's self isolating too.

RoseGoldGlasses · 16/09/2021 17:55

I think 10 days will be fine op.

respecttheforum · 16/09/2021 18:56

I would say 10 days then do a PCR. If that's negative he could come home.

Di11y · 16/09/2021 19:28

Can you not get a vaccination now? The risks from vaccination are tiny compared to the very real risk of contracting covid either from your DH or even in hospital.

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