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AIBU?

Dog barked at my child

375 replies

Kitchendrama1 · 16/09/2021 09:28

We were at the park and two year old was having a moment so sat down on the pavement. Dog came over and barked at him. Dog went away. It felt ok and I was looking out.

We started to do a lap of the oval and big again started to stare and bark from us at a distance and wasn’t looking at the other dog he was playing with, or his owner. Dog was getting closer (but also stopped). I grabbed kid and went.

Was the kid in danger?

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Am I being unreasonable?

921 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
88%
You are NOT being unreasonable
12%
nicnacnew · 18/09/2021 06:06

Yeah it is terrifying when my dog "stares" at me with his tongue hanging out, tail wagging, barking at me to throw his ball.

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PinniGig · 18/09/2021 06:35

@Kitchendrama1

I’m not a dog owner but I just felt really uncomfortable with the barks and starring

Ah right OK. Firstly dog owners can be a pain in the arse and should keep their dogs on a lead out in public. It's not fair or at all reasonable to expect or think it's enough to say their dog is friendly and that you're being soft "Look at him he's only wagging his tail / not being aggressive he just wants to play"

There's no fear like that when you are scared of dogs and if you're not used to them, it's almost impossible to distinguish friend from foe when one is bounding towards you.

What might be useful for future reference is how to react to any dog that's barking and coming towards you or making you feel scared which is a simple, effective thing being stop and stand perfectly still. Lot of dogs are triggered by someone or something running away from them and any screaming, flailing and panic heightens their excitability and makes them chase more.

What gets old really fast is when the thing stops, stands still and looks away in the distance. You're “meh” and they're likely to walk and leave.

There's a safety campaign that's been in the US for a while now teaching kids to “Be a tree” and some schools practice it. My only advice that differs is I recommend folding and tucking hands underneath your arms rather than keeping hands down by the sides. It's a strange one for me to read that because having your hands down by yours sides puts them in easier reach.

Stop – stand perfectly still with your arms tucked up and away – look off in the distance like you haven't even noticed there's a dog there.

More often than not you will find a dog stops barking and quickly gets fed up of you.

doggonesafe.com/Be-A-Tree

Sadly you can't do much about thoughtless and selfish dog owners that take the attitude “He's friendly! He's only playing!” and expect everyone should tolerate the fact they have no control over their dog and expect the world to be OK with it. It's a pain in the arse.

The “Be a Tree” is a good place to start for general reference though :)
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Explosivefarts · 18/09/2021 06:44

Non issue

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PinniGig · 18/09/2021 07:01

@Explosivefarts

Non issue

But it is an issue if it's an issue for someone else that feels worried by it.
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chocolateorangeinhaler · 18/09/2021 07:01

This is Mumsnet bingo gold!!!

I've produced a child ✅

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chocolateorangeinhaler · 18/09/2021 07:04

This is like a Mumsnet bingo gold card!!!

I've produced a child ✅
In the park✅
Random dog barked ✅
Was my child in danger✅
Am I over reacting massively ❌

Oh well nearly a full house.

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DumplingsAndStew · 18/09/2021 07:40

@chocolateorangeinhaler

This is Mumsnet bingo gold!!!

I've produced a child ✅

Have you produced a child that's your child, but also not your child?

That's a little more niche.
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starlight13 · 18/09/2021 07:42

Dogs are dangerous and you were right to he cautious.
It should have been on a lead. In this case it was just barking and no issues for you but there are so many incidents with a little nip here/ bite there that always report a dangerous dog to the police.
I'm always reminded of that poor boy mauled to death in a caravan in Cornwall and the dog had bitten before. Once they have bitten and drawn blood, they are a danger and need to be put down.

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sashh · 18/09/2021 07:44

@chocolateorangeinhaler

This is like a Mumsnet bingo gold card!!!

I've produced a child ✅
In the park✅
Random dog barked ✅
Was my child in danger✅
Am I over reacting massively ❌

Oh well nearly a full house.

No diagram either
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PinniGig · 18/09/2021 07:47

@nicnacnew

Yeah it is terrifying when my dog "stares" at me with his tongue hanging out, tail wagging, barking at me to throw his ball.

Depends what kind of dog you have and how intense he is when staring. I sometimes look at my own when they're intense and focused on something during training and think "If they weren't mine, I would shit in my literal pants"

Here's one good example. Best poker faces and the most intimdating dogs that are largely silent.

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isthismylifenow · 18/09/2021 08:14

Did the child have food, and was there any in the pram?

Can you tell I'm a Labrador owner.

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Jobsharenightmare · 18/09/2021 08:36

Have you seen dogs in the news that have mauled people to death? It does happen thankfully rarely but I bet those people assumed a dog off lead must be friendly or it would be muzzled etc. You didn't take the chance. Very sensible.

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lljkk · 18/09/2021 08:51

Some dogs bark because they want cuddles. Dogs are weird.

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Mollymoostoo · 18/09/2021 08:59

My dog has different barks depending on what is going on. She howls almost at people walking past the house, aggressive barks at dogs and cats and has a higher pitched yap if the children get too far away or she can't get to them. On the beach she didn't like the water and kept barking at the kids I'd they went in it
When you are not a dog owner it can be hard to know the difference and can be scared. I would have asked the owner just to keep her dog closet as it made you feel unsafe, if you leave the park every the this happens your child will develop a fear of dogs.

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Anitarest · 18/09/2021 09:02

Dogs bark, friendly or not.
If removing your child felt the best option for you, then it was. I’d likely have gone the same, and we have a friendly dog.
No point waiting for things to go wrong.

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Bluebelle100 · 18/09/2021 11:30

Dogs rule the world....or their owners think so. Fed up of moving off the pavement for dog and it's owner, dodging DS when walking. Not everyone likes dogs some of us are afraid and were attacked as a child. Oh he's really friendly, he won't harm you or just a filthy look from a dog owner cos you won't pet their dog.....rant over!

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LouH1981 · 18/09/2021 11:35

Barking isn’t usually a precursor to aggression. It sounds like it was more of an alert to the pack (owner).
A bit alarming for a 2 year old but I wouldn’t say you were in danger.

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LouH1981 · 18/09/2021 11:40

@Bluebelle100 As a dog owner, you definitely don’t speak for me there. I do not believe my dog owns the world, I always move off a pavement especially when there are children and I definitely don’t want every random person petting him (I can’t stand it)….and neither does he.
It sounds like you had an awful experience when you were little but we’re not all terrible, I promise.

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Bluebelle100 · 18/09/2021 11:47

@LouH1981 I believe you but you are rare and not what I witness on a daily basis.

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ikeepseeingit · 18/09/2021 12:13

[quote Bluebelle100]@LouH1981 I believe you but you are rare and not what I witness on a daily basis.[/quote]
I’m a dog owner and I agree that a lot of owners are inconsiderate. I think it also varies by area as the norm around me is for dog owners to move away from non dog owners when passing.

Just yesterday I was in the woods walking my 6 month Labrador and two dogs came up barking and growling at her. No idea why. The owner said ‘oh they’re just scared’ Christ knows why she didn’t put them on a lead. I called my dog away and put her on a lead, mine just sat next to me as hers barked and growled. She then wandered off and I heard the dogs doing the same thing to every other dog in the park. Dog owners are inconsiderate to other dog owners! If my dog hadn’t been so well behaved they could have easily got into a fight.

I totally get where you’re coming from, my dog isn’t perfect, but I keep her out of the way of other people and it actually annoys me when people try to pet her without asking as I don’t want her to think everyone is up for a cuddle.

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Fluffmum · 18/09/2021 12:23

Probably not. Dogs like to bark

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PinniGig · 18/09/2021 14:30

The thing that makes my piss boil most is the lack of basic manners, common courtesy and attitude that everyone / anyone that doesn't like dogs or has a fear of them is somehow the one that needs to get over it and stop being pathetic. Work on the assumption other's don't appreciate and won't want your dogs going over unless and until you know otherwise. Its' not even about knowledge or experience with dogs, it's just the simplest level of being a decent human being.

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digger2014 · 20/09/2021 10:27

It was a dog barking in a park. You're really overthinking this. Dogs bark for all sorts of reasons, and it's very often playful.

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digger2014 · 20/09/2021 10:30

@bluebelle100 I certainly wouldn't want you to pet my dog. I hope you don't pass your fear onto your child. I see this so often and it's really sad

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Bluebelle100 · 21/09/2021 10:10

I have 3 children and they are not scared of dogs just wary.

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