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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be anxious to take anti anxiety medication?!

113 replies

AnxiousAbi · 16/09/2021 09:24

Hi everyone,

Posting here for traffic, sorry.

I am just looking for some company this morning as I am so anxious and scared.

Seems to trivial when I type this out on here - my mum died earlier this year and it’s really triggered my health anxiety. I spoke to my GP earlier this week and she felt it would help for me to try some anti anxiety medication.

I’ve always resisted this, trying instead self care, CBT etc But this time I have just felt so anxious and overwhelmed by my grief all at the same time.

She prescribed me 5mg of Escitalopram.

I’ve taken my first tablet this morning and I am left feeling so anxious and scared.

My biggest fear is they will make me worse. I am functioning, I am able to do things with the kids etc. I’m scared they will stop me from doing that 😔

Is anyone around to talk to me?

OP posts:
Original poster
AnxiousAbi · 16/09/2021 09:25

I know that “functioning” isn’t good enough though. I want to be free from the anxiety. Even when I am doing fun activities etc with my family, or just chilling out, the anxiety is present in my head. Constantly.

OP posts:
GoodnightGrandma · 16/09/2021 09:27

Your feelings are not abnormal, there have been many people on here fearful of taking antidepressants. But we’ll done you for taking the first step towards getting better.
My DH started straight in on 40mg Citalopram and I’d say it took a month before we saw the beginnings of recovery. He was then better every month again until about 6 months. So keep taking it, even if you don’t think it’s working straight away.

GoodnightGrandma · 16/09/2021 09:30

I would say that my DH isn’t ‘free’ of anxiety even now. There is a certain ongoing situation in his life that causes him anxiety, but when that situation dies I’m sure he will feel much less anxious.
So make sure you use CBT and other coping mechanisms when you feel the anxiety brewing.

Original poster
AnxiousAbi · 16/09/2021 09:32

Thank you. I think I’ve been started on a very low dose. The GP said the most likely symptom would be nausea. I can cope with that.

I just worry that they will make me worse. To look at me you wouldn’t know I had anxiety. I fake it when I feel like this so friends and colleagues have no idea. Which is great but…well I am sick going through this. I’ve always been able to manage it in the past myself.

I just feel so incredibly ashamed as well.

OP posts:
chuggabo · 16/09/2021 09:33

I'm sure some more people will be along in a minute. My own anxiety and depression have been with me a long time.

The best advice I can give you right now is to just try a bit. If you aren't ready to tackle all of the things you want to do, then maybe pick one. Have you managed to eat anything yet today? I often find medication is more gentle when it's accompanied by a little something like a bit of toast? Next if you are up to it have a list of the top three things you need to think about. Take your time and don't rush. If I'm on high alert I get clumsy and walk into the furniture. Find something in your home that will make you pause for a minute- like a picture of your children. Look at it for a little when you have got a little task complete- however small and smile because you are trying.

Original poster
AnxiousAbi · 16/09/2021 09:34

@GoodnightGrandma

I would say that my DH isn’t ‘free’ of anxiety even now. There is a certain ongoing situation in his life that causes him anxiety, but when that situation dies I’m sure he will feel much less anxious. So make sure you use CBT and other coping mechanisms when you feel the anxiety brewing.
I am really proactive at doing my CBT work and other self care.

I looked into grief counselling but was told it is too soon, so I have arranged via work to start CBT instead, which will hopefully be this week or next week.

I am also dealing with a health worry at the moment that is making me spiral. I keep saying if I could feel better about that then I would be ok, but I also know that I would most likely just start to worry about something else instead.

OP posts:
GoodnightGrandma · 16/09/2021 09:35

Do not feel ashamed, you are taking a ‘supplement’ that your body needs to be balanced.
It’s only like people needing thyroxine or insulin.
My DH was ashamed like you, but the GP told him that 1:3 patients in the surgery were on them.
It is a very low dose, so go back for an increase if you need it. Have they arranged a follow up or medication review ?

AuldWan · 16/09/2021 09:35

I started on 5mg and increased to 15 eventually. I feel so much better, and have had no side effects bar some initial euphoria after a few days on 10mg. It was very shortlived and not unpleasant or scary. I am not anxiety free but my life is much improved.

Original poster
AnxiousAbi · 16/09/2021 09:36

@chuggabo

I'm sure some more people will be along in a minute. My own anxiety and depression have been with me a long time.

The best advice I can give you right now is to just try a bit. If you aren't ready to tackle all of the things you want to do, then maybe pick one. Have you managed to eat anything yet today? I often find medication is more gentle when it's accompanied by a little something like a bit of toast? Next if you are up to it have a list of the top three things you need to think about. Take your time and don't rush. If I'm on high alert I get clumsy and walk into the furniture. Find something in your home that will make you pause for a minute- like a picture of your children. Look at it for a little when you have got a little task complete- however small and smile because you are trying.

Thank you.

No I haven’t eaten yet, I am sitting with a cup of camomile tea but will go and get some food just now.

I am then going to have a shower and try and get on with my day as best as I can. I have some errands to do today or tomorrow so will do them if I can be bothered.

Im also loaded with the cold and have a cough so that’s not helping either as im tired from waking in the night.

OP posts:
Original poster
AnxiousAbi · 16/09/2021 09:42

Thanks for the replies, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate them.

I feel like such a failure for not being able to cope without them. I mean, I am coping but as someone said to me “coping is not enough”. Which I know is true.

Yes I have a review in 4 ish weeks, when I will just have started my second box.

I’m reassured to know that you didn’t have many side effects @AuldWan. I know everyone is different but it’s good to hear other experiences.

Are you on them for anxiety specifically?

OP posts:
Original poster
AnxiousAbi · 16/09/2021 09:43

@GoodnightGrandma

Do not feel ashamed, you are taking a ‘supplement’ that your body needs to be balanced. It’s only like people needing thyroxine or insulin. My DH was ashamed like you, but the GP told him that 1:3 patients in the surgery were on them. It is a very low dose, so go back for an increase if you need it. Have they arranged a follow up or medication review ?
I think she started me low because I was so reluctant and worried about the side effects but also because she said I may not need a high dose - but it will be reviewed
OP posts:
Original poster
AnxiousAbi · 16/09/2021 09:44

@AuldWan how quickly did you start to feel the positive effects? I know 4-6 weeks is the official answer. But I just wonder if it’s possible to feel a little better sooner than that.

OP posts:
AuldWan · 16/09/2021 09:53

Yes, I am on them specifically for anxiety. I can't quite remember how long it took to feel better but it did take quite a few weeks. But persevere, it's worth it in my view

AuldWan · 16/09/2021 09:54

I started low too but asked for an increase. 15mg seems to suit me

Original poster
AnxiousAbi · 16/09/2021 09:57

Thanks so much. I feel a little less hysterical about them now!

I just need to take it a day at a time really and try not to panic.

I wish I could just be like other people and take them without worrying about all of the “what ifs”

Anyone else I have spoken to has said it’s been worth it too. For some it was life changing

OP posts:
AuldWan · 16/09/2021 10:02

I worried that it would affect my work, that I'd be fuzzy or something, but actually I work much better now that my anxiety is reduced. I resisted them for years which I regret now! Good luck, I'm sure you'll feel much better soon.

starrynight87 · 16/09/2021 10:02

The best thing I did was go onto meds, it takes time but it evens you out. I figured it was worth a try, and I would never come off them now.

Original poster
AnxiousAbi · 16/09/2021 10:11

Yes I’ve resisted them too. I can usually get over these blips but this time I think it’s just all been too much with my mum passing away.

@starrynight87 yes “worth a try” is something a friend said. And on my low dose I assume it wouldn’t be too difficult to stop them if I had to.

I need to try and be positive though and hope that I don’t have to stop them.

If I was to get side effects, how quickly would I experience them? I took my first tablet an hour ago.

Maybe I need to not focus on that though and just tell myself that side effects are not likely and take it as it comes rather than wait for them

OP posts:
Original poster
AnxiousAbi · 16/09/2021 10:29

Thanks everyone for your replies, I feel better now - still scared about taking tomorrow’s but I know I will take it. In the past I knew I wouldn’t!!

OP posts:
starrynight87 · 16/09/2021 10:45

I found it impossible to figure out side effects as they all match anxiety, just go with it and accept it.

claffy123 · 16/09/2021 10:53

I’m so sorry to hear about your mum, OP, of course you are feeling out of sorts and unsettled by everything - who wouldn’t, in those circumstances? Please confide in a friend - you will start to feel the weight lifting immediately, & you have no idea how many people will will say “well actually….me too”. You will honestly start to feel better in a week or so, and then the benefits of them will build up - my GP told me that the worse I felt as I started them, the more the sign that my brain chemicals were out of kilter & needed some help to get balanced again. And as for feeling ashamed, I think that is a very common thought, but as a friend said to me “what’s the point of lying on your death bed saying “well, I’ve had a shit life, but at least I didn’t take a tablet!” “ .

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 16/09/2021 11:02

Honestly OP, it's the best thing I've done. I put off taking any medication for around 10 years, the first two weeks on medication were difficult for me (it was Sertraline so different to yours) but I stuck to it and honestly, it's like I'm a different person now.

OnTheNatureOfDaylight · 16/09/2021 11:05

Thanks for posting op
My dd 17 will be starting this medication next week.
Her anxiety is debilitating and I’m really hoping she can get some relief.
It’s become part of her.

DoucheCanoe · 16/09/2021 11:11

I was exactly where you are 3 months ago, too anxious to treat the anxiety.

I was prescribed 50mg Sertraline and didn't take it for 8 days as I scared myself shitless reading up on the side effects. Fast forward to now and it's the best thing I ever did - I feel "normal" again and can just get on with my life without stressing every little thing.

The first few days I was on high alert for side effects but other than a low appetite and slight light headedness for 2-3 days all was fine.

BennyBean · 16/09/2021 11:21

I started with anxiety 4 months ago 2 weeks ago i was prescribed the same medication as you but 10mg i started taking it straight away i take it in the morning before breakfast i haven't really noticed a difference yet and i am really bad at night with thoughts but i have read the reviews and they are all good and hopefully it will work eventually, i seem to be a bit better for a couple of hours in the afternoon some days which i wasn't before i will keep taking them because i want to get better and be my normal self again i am not seeing family because i don't want them to see me like this it is effecting my partner and i feel really guilty for this i hope you can get better because i know what you are going through no one knows until they have it themselves how painful it is take care