Will try not to drip feed.
I have a pretty ambivalent/distant relationship with my mum. We are not close but never any abuse or fall outs. She is immature and entitled and pretty self absorbed.
She’s never had much to do with my dc whilst they were growing up, just visits at Xmas, birthdays as hoc family gatherings. She does however moan to all and sundry (my siblings, aunts and uncles etc) that she never sees my dc and I never make an effort with her etc.
For several reasons on both sides we have not caught up as a family this summer and now my eldest dc is off to uni and I have organised a family meal out as a bit of a send off.
Mum is kicking off as she wants to bring her new dp. I have said no.
Mum and new dp have been an item for about 4 months. I’ve never met him but I know they had a fling about a year ago and he treated her really badly. I’m massively judging here but my mums ‘type’ is bad boy and I’m not holding out much hope that this fella is in it for the long haul.
I don’t want this send of for my dc to be a meet and greet with mums new man. My brother has met him briefly but no one else in the family. I mentioned it to my dc who screwed his face up and said something about him not knowing him and probably never seeing him again so why would he come along.
Mum is now saying I am being unfair and ruining her happiness and how unwelcoming I am and stopping her seeing her grandchildren etc.
I’m trying to not bring into the mix that I feel somewhat dragged down by old baggage of her not seemingly ever making an effort with me or my dc and now recently making long distance trips each weekend to spend time with her ‘new’ family - dp’s daughter and dc.