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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Family fall out

4 replies

Kez02 · 15/09/2021 12:43

I have had a falling out with my partners sister and have decided I dont want her in our lives at all.
She only sees my son at special occasions she makes no effort outwith and although is good with him, they have no bond. She sent me a horrible txt about something bothering her and when I replied she told me to p*ss off. This caused upset and anxiety with me and I dont have to or want to deal with, from someone I barely know.
My partner doesn't live with me and we have a rocky relationship at the moment so I defo do not need any further stress.
Am I being unreasonable for banning her from our lives? I hardly know the girl, my son hardly knows her. She may be lashing out at me due to stresses going on in the family, I feel like she sees me as an easy target and I have been told she is known for doing this. If will not invite her to any parties or attend any she is hosting. I know this will become an issue and I will painted the bad one.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 15/09/2021 12:46

You need to decide whether to put up with her shite OR be seen as the “bad one”, whatever that means
Personally I would choose the 2nd one but I am able to not be affected by what other people think of me

LIZS · 15/09/2021 12:47

Is your ds your dp's? Are you all young? Just keep distant and keep out of any drama.

TaraR2020 · 15/09/2021 12:53

I wouldn't ban her from seeing him tbh, but I would keep my distance and keep contact to group family occasions

NC seems a bit extreme

Xiaoxiong · 15/09/2021 13:03

The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. Just withdraw and grey rock her. If she texts you about stuff that's bothering her, just respond with a bland "sorry to hear that" or "sounds tough". If she asks you about anything say "we're fine" or "hmm you'll have to talk to your brother about that". If she invites you to a party "oh I'm so sorry I can't make it, hope it goes well". If you're having a party, why would you invite her at all if you don't even live with your partner and you're not getting on with him. Just see her at big group family events where you're only there because of your son.

And don't hold out for an apology for telling you to piss off, you won't get one. Just detach and move on - what do you care what she thinks!

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