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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at DS dad parenting habits.

3 replies

november90 · 14/09/2021 20:51

He has ds for 2 nights a week. DS loves to spend time with his dad but is always happy to come home and never asks to see his dad when home, he's settled and happy.
Ex is insistent on, when he drops him off, making comments like "5 sleeps until you see me, it won't be long". Now I know DS doesn't need that reassurance, like I said he's happy at home and I know him inside out... he really is fine, but it's really starting to get on my nerves. DS does not need to count down the days he's with me, almost planting a seed of saying, "don't worry it'll soon be over". He's saying it for his own ego. He has always had an issue with not feeling equal and the mother vs father role.
Today he dropped DS off at school and had a bit of a tricky time (unrelated matter..) anyway he told me about it and made a massive point of saying that DS is probably so upset that it's such a long time until he sees him and they have such a good time together doing so many different activities that he doesn't want to go to school. My jaw nearly hit the floor.
AIBU to be getting annoyed with Ex comments and feeling like he's trying to make my time with him feel inferior!

OP posts:
RedMarauder · 14/09/2021 20:55

Ignore.

Every single time.

Your son will soon turn around and tell his dad to "shut up as he's not a baby"

esloquehay · 14/09/2021 20:59

Do you think your ex could actually be projecting his own insecurities onto the situation? That it's him that counts down the nights 'til he sees his child again etc?
It doesn't sound as though he's trying to undermine you. He just sounds as clueless as my twins' Dad.

november90 · 14/09/2021 21:12

@esloquehay yes I 100% do!
He walked out on me and DS when I was 5 months pregnant, completely out of the blue and for a long time I was in the receiving end of a lot of gas lighting behaviour. We seem to be ok at the minute but who knows how long it'll last with how il and down he is! Anyway, whenever a disagreement comes along he will always make it about his ego and his role of anDad. He likes to feel important.
I think it's terrible to be planting those seeds into DS. DS loves being at home but I know he also likes his time with his Dad. None of this counting down the nights is necessary other then to make my ex feel important 😠

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