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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to explain that I don't feel like being recorded

70 replies

Coffeetree · 14/09/2021 15:25

I'm a trustee for a charity and tonight I'm giving a seminar on an area of my expertise for our volunteers. Online zoom.

They were very keen and sweet about it. They said people from other charities wanted to come, I said sure.

Now even more people want to come but they can't make the time and anyway more people might want to watch it later so they want to record it.

I don't want it to be recorded. I do loads of recorded seminars for my paid job and they're a very different dynamic than the informal question-and-answer session I'm envisioning for this evening.

Plus if other volunteers are involved who knows where the recording will end up.

They're all acting surprised that I said no thanks to a recording.

Is this some new professional norm? There's a rebuttable presumption that everything must be recorded?

OP posts:
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 14/09/2021 15:27

I think you're being precious,no one's asking you to change the format they're just saying they'll record it.

Coffeetree · 14/09/2021 15:29

Or they're being precious by wanting to record it?

I'm not trying to be a smart arse but wouldnt you feel a bit different giving a small informal talk than a recorded presentation?

OP posts:
Coffeetree · 14/09/2021 15:30

Honestly I'm having a hard time articulating why it bothers me.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 14/09/2021 15:31

Why would it change the dynamic? Just run the session as you would normally

HarrietsChariot · 14/09/2021 15:31

YANBU to not like being recorded BUT you're being unrealistic to imagine a seminar wouldn't be recorded.

In any case if you do anything over Zoom you should assume it's being recorded by one or all of the audience, even if the organisers and recording it themselves.

It would be reasonable though for you to demand a fee for being recorded, because it changes the situation. Not sure how much but I'd say £500 to £1000 would be reasonable if it's going to go on for an hour or two.

Wildheartsease · 14/09/2021 15:32

I think it perfectly reasonable not to want to be recorded.

I do both and know that it does change the dynamic. Perhaps your teaching will be a little different but certainly responses from the group will be different too. (I find that far fewer people make contributions when they know they are being recorded.)

lockdownalli · 14/09/2021 15:32

YANBU OP

This is the kind of thing I do professionally and it is very different doing a talk followed by Q&A, than presenting something that will be recorded. You lose control of the recorded material and I would hate that.

I would say no, and if they don't like it they can get another speaker.

maslinpan · 14/09/2021 15:33

Not sure why you are worried about where the recording will end up? Surely it will only be of interest to those people who would be attending and nobody else. Those people will attend on Zoom as agreed, a handful of others will potentially watch the recording later, and.... that's it. Are you planning to be outrageous or to incriminate yourself in some way? If not, then there's no problem.

Annoyedanddissapointed · 14/09/2021 15:34

Yanbu. We aren't recording certain seasions because some people were uncomfortable with it under the circumstances. It should be absolutely understandable. I don't think it's being precious

Newgirls · 14/09/2021 15:34

If you are doing it as a favour and usually do this as your job, then say you prefer not to have it recorded.

AntiHop · 14/09/2021 15:34

I agree with you op.

Coffeetree · 14/09/2021 15:34

I couldn't charge in this format.

Yes, losing control of the material. It's a sensitive subject politically too.

OP posts:
Wildheartsease · 14/09/2021 15:35

You often feel that you need to be more cautious in expressing yourself when recorded.

When recording you have to be aware that you can be misunderstood by someone who can't just ask you a question.

What you say can seem 'set in stone' where it might have been more 'throw away' and in the moment if part of an unrecorded performance.

HarrietsChariot · 14/09/2021 15:36

@Coffeetree

Honestly I'm having a hard time articulating why it bothers me.
Maybe you don't like the idea that whatever you do or say, whatever mistakes you make, will be on the internet forever? That in twenty years the recording of you giving your expertise on might be used as evidence of how back in the olden days even "experts" didn't understand the issues properly? (No doubt you do understand properly - but what's correct and appropriate today might be ludicrous and offensive in a few years.)

Once you put a video out there, or someone else does, you can NEVER get it back. Perhaps you're OK with giving your evening up for the charity, but not having yourself exposed to goodness knows who forever?

Fraine · 14/09/2021 15:37

YANBU, you’re sound doing them a favour so it needs to be on *your terms.

Say no.

Etinox · 14/09/2021 15:40

You're 100% entitled to refuse. I've attended a lot of networking, information sharing, training, academic etc Zooms and recording them is not the norm.

purpleboy · 14/09/2021 15:42

We record our meetings, (also a charity) mainly because we have so many volunteers it's impossible for everyone to attend the meetings, so it's really handy to watch when you have the time and it keeps everyone in the loop. So far none of our speakers have ever objected and we are also told videos are not for outside viewing. Is it that your worried the content could be put "out there"? Would the organisation agree to it being kept in house only?

Wilkolampshade · 14/09/2021 15:43

This is an interesting question really, and maybe a sign of changing times due to covid.
DD2's teaching was almost all online over the pandemic. She is a string player at Conservatoire. Her teachers all feature on actual publicly available recordings, either as soloists or in ensemble, all very big affairs. . Their private 1-1 teaching with her, delivered over zoom/teams was exactly the same length and tone as normal, aboutone to two hrs, very informal, and all recorded (including babies walking in, cats scratching the sofa etc... so she could reference it later, and also for safeguarding purposes. The fact it was recorded made no difference.. Not sure why it would?

Coffeetree · 14/09/2021 15:45

Yes it's specifically being recorded so that anyone else interested can see it.

It's on a complex and sensitive area of law so yes most likely too boring and arcane for anyone interested but on the other hand could end up being picked up by people who disagree with our work (it happens).

OP posts:
Wilkolampshade · 14/09/2021 15:46

Sorry, cut off in my prime..
Anyway yes, in my experience really normal. There's a caveat that recordings may not be used for commercial purposes I believe.

Ikeptgoing · 14/09/2021 15:47

@Coffeetree

Yes it's specifically being recorded so that anyone else interested can see it.

It's on a complex and sensitive area of law so yes most likely too boring and arcane for anyone interested but on the other hand could end up being picked up by people who disagree with our work (it happens).

I agree with your reservations

They changed what you agreed to do. You have an informal discussion limited to the audience of those that are attending. Not for recording to be shared to those not attending or other people. Especially as it is a sensitive subject

Wilkolampshade · 14/09/2021 15:50

Hmm, just seen your updates.
I think given this you would be well within your rights to refuse, but of course as others have said, I'm not sure there's anyway you can guarantee others won't record you anyway.

godmum56 · 14/09/2021 15:51

keep in mind that if anybody has got two pieces of kit, they can zoom on one and record the screen on the other and there is zero you can do about it, you won't even know...google recording a zoom meeting without permission

FlumpsAreShit · 14/09/2021 15:52

Do you have a slide deck you could tweak and offer to share instead?

Coffeetree · 14/09/2021 15:54

Yes of course I realise than anyone can record you anywhere but I'm extending normal human trust to colleagues.

OP posts: