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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take it easy today

24 replies

Rosebel · 14/09/2021 09:10

I don't think I am being but who knows. Have been feeling really rough for a few days. Not Covid as I took a PCR on the weekend which was negative.
Struggled to go shopping and take the kids to their evening activity.
Today I feel even worse and have just put my son in front of the TV with his toys. Gave him breakfast and now feel like I can barely move.
Anyway my husband phoned me to ask if I could pick up his prescription today and I said no. Told him I was feeling shit and planning a quiet day in resting.
Honesty by his reaction you'd think I'd said I was going to abandon our son and take crack cocaine or something. He said I need to keep awake (obviously) and our son is into everything (I know) so needs engaging and wasn't I lucky to be able "to sit on my fat ass all day." He said I'd feel much better if I went out instead of dripping about at home and asked if I was going to be miserable all evening.
I'm due in work tomorrow and just wanted a quiet day so I hopefully feel up to work tomorrow.
He's just made me feel guilty and like a bad mum.
I suppose I'm asking if I'm being unreasonable to take it easy today or if you'd go out and keep your toddler engaged all day?
YABU go out and get moving
YANBU stay at home and take it easy

OP posts:
Sirzy · 14/09/2021 09:13

Well your husband sounds like a right arse!

Nothing at all wrong with listening to your body and taking time to rest and recuperate, if your still feeling ill tomorrow then stay home and use your normal childcare for when working so you can properly rest.

Get well soon

GTAlogic · 14/09/2021 09:19

Your husband sounds like he doesn't care about your needs. Is he always so insulting (talking about your "fat arse")?

Anyway, take the rest that you need and if you're still struggling tomorrow, put your son in nursery (or whatever childcare you use whilst at work) and have the day off.

If your husband is so concerned with how you're looking after your child, he can come home and take over rather than insult you. That's what my dh used to do when he was working and our dc were small and I was too poorly to take care of them properly.

Original poster
Rosebel · 14/09/2021 09:56

I was going to ask him to come home but after his reaction I thought it would probably just make things worse.
Good to know I'm not being unreasonable. I'm never sure if it's me or him.

OP posts:
MaryHadALittleRam · 14/09/2021 09:59

Stay in and stay warm. If you don't feel better tomorrow don't go in
I'm making no comment about your husband

WitchBaby · 14/09/2021 10:07

He can get his own bloody prescription Angry
Take it easy today and don’t let him make you feel guilty.
It’s a one-off it’s not like it’s every day.

Hhhh3345566 · 14/09/2021 11:16

What a prick

LittleOwl153 · 14/09/2021 12:31

Ah he just wants you to get his prescription... because he's the "big man" working hard in his "big job" so you can sit around doing nothing - your "little job" clearly doesn't matter and there is nothing to entertaining a toddler as you can clearly do it even when ill!!
Twat. I'd be tempted to ask what he brings to your life if you are having to guess all the time whether his complaints are reasonable.

CrazySpanielLady88 · 14/09/2021 12:46

He's an absolute twat. I bet there are other issues with him/ your marriage too. He sounds like a complete uncaring knob. If this was a regular attitude of his, I'd be contemplating the future of the marriage.

Original poster
Rosebel · 14/09/2021 13:23

Thanks for your replies and yes there are some other issues and I sometimes wonder if its over but then he'll start being loving again and I think I'm just being over dramatic.
14%say I'm unreasonable though although none of them have left a comment so presumably he's not being entirely unreasonable then.

OP posts:
maofteens · 14/09/2021 13:47

Yes he is - but you know it you don't need strangers to tell you. If possible I'd get someone in to watch your child while you went to bed. What happened when your husband is ill? If he stays at home do you say great you can mind our child while I go off do xyz?

Popcornriver · 14/09/2021 14:02

He's an arsehole OP. Who hasn't had a taking it easy day while poorly? His response should have been of course and did you need anything collecting from the pharmacy for yourself!

Also your son will be absolutely fine with lots of toys in front of the tv while you supervise from the sofa fgs.

TaraR2020 · 14/09/2021 14:04

In addition to being in complete agreement with previous replies, I'd be giving him hell for that "fat ass" comment Hmm

Jellifer · 14/09/2021 14:04

YABVU as obviously his prescription must be for his ‘stop being a knob’ tablets and it sounds like he needs them desperately!

Hope you feel better soon, take it easy

GoWalkabout · 14/09/2021 14:05

Why does he speak to you so disrespectfully? Say no to him a bit more and you will see what he is really like.

RealBecca · 14/09/2021 14:18

Hes nice to you to reel you back in.

Yes, you should be done woth him.

Its not healthy or normal to namecall in a relationship. Referring to your fat arse would be a one and only warning (if he was lucky) the first time it happens. I suspect its a regular feature though?

MilkywayMonarch22 · 14/09/2021 14:25

Your DH sounds rude and telling you that you have a fat arse was nasty.

I feel shit today, it's not covid, but there is a nasty cold/flu going about. I am at work (from home) and have been taking it easy where possible in between meetings.

Be kind to yourself. It's rubbish being a parent when you are sick yourself.

IntermittentParps · 14/09/2021 14:26

@MaryHadALittleRam

Stay in and stay warm. If you don't feel better tomorrow don't go in I'm making no comment about your husband
I am. Who on earth does he think he is speaking to you like that? Your 'fat ass'? And all he's worried about is 'if you're going to be miserable all evening.'?

It is telling that you say you're 'never sure' if it's you or him. So this kind of thing happens a lot then?
Oh, and it's him.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/09/2021 15:33

What an absolute dickhead.

So you’re just a resource for him to get maximum use out of, basically?

purpleboy · 14/09/2021 16:02

What a dick op. I'm really worried that your not sure if your in the wrong or not. You absolutely are not, he sounds vile and if I were you I'd be standing up for myself and refuse to be spoken to like that. Your better than this op, don't allow him to treat you this way.

UltraOpaque · 14/09/2021 16:06

I'm never sure if it's me or him.

It's him opFlowers If my husband spoke to me like that I would be arranging to take my dc & "fat arse" and permanently place them a long, long way from him.

Merryoldgoat · 14/09/2021 16:24

My DH would never say that to me and I’d never say something like that to him either. Your husband is nasty.

TaraR2020 · 14/09/2021 16:42

14%say I'm unreasonable though although none of them have left a comment so presumably he's not being entirely unreasonable then.

I've only ever seen 1 thread that got 100% votes on one option,there's always a few who vote against the majority

Moonface123 · 14/09/2021 19:46

YANBU.
We are not meant to race through life like rockets.
I have had a lazy day today as my energy levels feel very low. I did a short shift at work first thing, but then came home and rested. I find when l allow myself to rest l feel a lot more energised the day after.
Do not feel guilty, it's good to have a quiet calm day, benefits both you and your child.
I don't know why we have this mindset that we should be permanently busy, multitasking and achieving. It causes so much stress.

Neonplant · 14/09/2021 19:53

Jesus he sounds like a right arse hole

Sorry you're feeling crap. I sometimes think people think they are helping with these sort of platitudes. Get up and about you'll not notice it. Yeah or I'll feel like shit!

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