To wish he would not do this?

BlossomOnTrees · 2021-09-13T20:58:11+00:00

Very tall male colleague reached over me to grab something off a shelf. Not a lone incident either. Could have politely asked me to move but no. Aibu to say I don't like this?

plodalong12 · 13/09/2021 22:03

YABU if you think it’s ok to tell him not to be in control of his own body. It’s not his fault you’re shorter than he is.

Waspsarearseholes · 13/09/2021 22:05

Do you always politely ask people to move when you're reaching for things? You've never reached around someone?

Palavah · 13/09/2021 22:06

YANBU! People saying YABU haven't thought it through.

Pixiedown123 · 13/09/2021 22:07

Surprised by the responses, I wouldn't like someone in my space. Should have asked you to move

TractorAndHeadphones · 13/09/2021 22:12

It's dangerous to reach over people for things - could end up dropping things on someone else. And rude to not at least say 'excuse me'.
Which direction is he doing it from - the side?

spotcheck · 13/09/2021 22:16

So..... Would you reach for something at people's feet?

Credenhill22 · 13/09/2021 22:18

What do you think he was trying to do other than reach for something?

Ponoka7 · 13/09/2021 22:22

It is bad manners. If he's up close, getting an eyeful down your top etc, then of course it shouldn't happen. If he's lifting things that he could easily drop over you, then again it's not on and probably is against safe manual handling.

Ponoka7 · 13/09/2021 22:23

"So..... Would you reach for something at people's feet?"

In terms of manual handling and safe work practices, there's a big difference. But you'd warn someone what you were doing, not just quickly do it.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 13/09/2021 22:24

Dangerous?! Come off it.

I think its a tad rude if theres loads of room, but im not sure id think much of it. That said, im very used to working in close proximity with people so I think ive got a skewed perception of personal space.

arethereanyleftatall · 13/09/2021 22:35

I've taken this to mean the bloke reached over where she was standing and stretched over her, thereby thrusting his cock in to her back. So, pretty unreasonable really.

MindyStClaire · 13/09/2021 22:38

As a short arse I'd hate this. It's not a nice feeling to have someone leaning over you like that, and could be quite intimidating. I can't fully articulate it, but I know exactly why you don't like it.

Imnothereforthedrama · 13/09/2021 22:46

It’s rude you say excuse me can I just get that , you don’t reach over invading someone’s space . I had colleague who would do that often , it was when she wanted something on my desk so I started hiding said item so she then had to ask for it .

INeed2P · 13/09/2021 22:49

Meh, YABU if you haven't asked him not to.

I'm 6"2 and don't even notice when I reach over someone to get something - I can't help being super tall, and it's not natural to constantly be aware of how tall you are when doing your normal daily tasks (and not realising that other people don't reach over each other!). If you've asked him not to several times and he's still doing it, then it's an issue IMO.

MindyStClaire · 13/09/2021 22:59

@INeed2P

Meh, YABU if you haven't asked him not to.

I'm 6"2 and don't even notice when I reach over someone to get something - I can't help being super tall, and it's not natural to constantly be aware of how tall you are when doing your normal daily tasks (and not realising that other people don't reach over each other!). If you've asked him not to several times and he's still doing it, then it's an issue IMO.

Please stop doing this. I'm a foot shorter than you, it's a rotten feeling to have someone looming over you - think about it from the shorter person's point of view, you're going far too close to their face and head for one thing. It makes me feel quite uncomfortable and I can only assume it would be a thousand times worse for someone with a history of physical or sexual abuse.

EBearhug · 13/09/2021 23:07

it's not natural to constantly be aware of how tall you are when doing your normal daily tasks

It is natural to be aware of others to make sure you're not invading their space. You must notice people enough to reach over them so that you don't actually kick them or trip over them, so please be considerate enough not to reach over.

INeed2P · 14/09/2021 07:26

@MindyStClaire

If someone asks me not too - I'd do my best not to!

I don't do it to upset people, however it's just going about my daily life, I genuinely don't even process it (much as shorter people don't process reaching under me!) when it's just doing daily tasks. I don't mean to "loom" but I cannot help my height, I think if you're asked not to it's rude to keep doing it, but people reach over / round / under people all the time, so OP might just need to ask the person not to.

PhoboPhobia · 14/09/2021 07:36

I don’t really understand why anyone needs to do this. Surely if someone is in front of a shelf that you need, you wait, regardless of height?

EBearhug · 14/09/2021 18:01

much as shorter people don't process reaching under me

I bet you they do process it.

Surely if someone is in front of a shelf that you need, you wait, regardless of height?

This. It's just basic manners.