Grandma died and I don’t know how to feel.

[2lsinllama]

Just that really. We had a complicated relationship- I have lovely Enid Blytonesque memories from early childhood when she looked after us but from the age of about 13 I realised how manipulative she was. Myself and my siblings have had therapy as adults to deal with how the whole family had to dance to her tune and we are all quite damaged.
But she was still my grandmother - am I the worst person in the world for not feeling upset?

I understand the mixed emotions you are feeling right now.

My family situation is similar. No other words of advice except you are not a bad person

Nope it's fine. My grandmother had dementia that changed her personality and made her very rude and truly horrible to me for years. It was incredibly unpleasant... I was glad when she passed away

Your feelings are entirely valid. Just because a horrible person dies doesn’t suddenly make them a good person. I was pleased when my toxic grandmother died. Even to this day I don’t feel guilty about how I didn’t mourn her.

We called my grandma, 'Dad's Mum'. That's how removed we felt from her. She was manipulative and nasty. She could never be pleasant to all of her children at the same time. One of them was always pushed out.
I didn't feel anything when she died. I still don't. My grandad said she was trouble - he was lovely and he trodden down by her. I wish he'd left her and been happier.

No, you're not unreasonable not to be upset. She was the reason you ended up in therapy. If you felt great relief you wouldn't be unreasonable. No doubt there won't be a river of tears from your siblings either. Feel how you feel and don't pretend to feel anything else.