Long story short. I have been with my partner for 12 years, we have a 10 and a 8 year old and I have a 24 year old daughter with my late husband. Our relationship has been always been difficult and I thought (and I am sure he has too) in separating many, many times. I have a good and stable job and we own our (mortgaged) home so no major financial issues apart from him being tight generally speaking. He doesn't help around the house and I personally don't think is a good dad to our children, reason being that if you are not good to the mother hardly you are a good father to her kids. It has been such a long time taking shit that I feel numb and I am almost used to the verbal abuse. He has told me nice things like 'go and get fucked', 'shup up', 'fuck off', etc. I have stand out for myself every time but in privately to try and avoid more crap in front of the kids. Today is my birthday, and we had planned to go out for the day until school pick up. Last night I told him that me and my eldest were taking the kids to school and we were going to have a coffee together for an hour, then I would go home and we could go on our day. He through a paddy and said that I could spend the day woth my daughter and that he was going to work (we both took the day off). He was out of the door at 7am, no card, no present, nothing. I know many of you will tell me to leave him but I feel completey blocked and unable to act. Has someone gone through this and how did you manage to 'wake up' and leave? Really struggling with this...