I just wondered if anyone else has an unaffectionate partner?
I have been with my DH for 20yrs. For the first 8yrs of our relationship when we were child free he was very loving, caring like to talk etc..
We only have one child she is 12 & he is very loving & affectionate with her, which is great, but its almost as if he doesn't have enough 'love' to go round and gradually over the last 12yrs he has become less and less affectionate towards me...to the point where its now non-existent and has been for a couple of years.
I've tried talking to him about this but he has no interest.
Its obviously very upsetting for me and the situation has now become so entrenched I cant see it ever ending.
I try to initiate affection but he isn't interested, which makes me feel unloved and puts me off wanting to try again as I find the rejection quite painful. This has a knock on effect to our sex life which is also non existent.
We have never had family who were able to look after our daughter & so we never had the typical 'date nights' etc, so I think this definitely hasn't helped our situation as its meant we haven't spent very much time on our own over the last 12yrs.
Our DD is a bit older now and has started going out a little by herself (short trips to the park/friends houses etc.. at the weekend) and I thought maybe us having some time alone might help the situation, but so far it hasn't made any difference.
I often get the impression my DH doesn't want to offend our DD or make her feel 'left out by being affectionate to me?!! Which sounds utterly ridiculous as I'm writing it, but I wonder if this is because she is an only child & I often think if we had 2 children that he wouldn't feel this way.
Apart from this obviously being very upsetting for me, I worry that our DD is growing up thinking its completely normal for a mum & dad to never, hug, kiss etc...
Just wondered if anyone else has any experience of this? TIA x