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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be truthful about his present?

12 replies

Slugnlettuce · 13/09/2021 12:03

Recently celebrated my first birthday with my new partener. I didn't expect anything from him at all I'd of been happy with flowers or a new lamp something practical he knows I'm a very practical person. Feel a bit guilty and awful really he did get me a present but it's a gold diamond necklace that I absolutely do not like. It's not me at all I have no need or want for 'fine jewellary' this would have cost him 400+ when I looked them up. I'm a bit disheartened I'd of been happy with a 30£ coat I desperately need a new coat and my phone is knackered and he keeps telling me I need a new one FYI I can't afford it. I feel a fraud wearing this necklace that is not me at all I'm more of a cheap costume jewellery girl and I can't help but think he wasted so much money when I only want the simple things. He says he wanted me to have something nice I could remember him by and spoil me and that I should tell everyone pretty much how many crts etc I said all of that makes no sense to me tbh and I don't care about things like that. It's shocked me a bit really as this is the guy who is always after a bargain bulk buys deodorant as its cheaper and hates spending money. Should i say something? Or do I keep walking around in this necklace I don't like that could pay my month's rent it doesn't even look like much. I feel like he massively over thought this. I don't mean to sound u greatful I adore this guy and I am thankful for his effort but it's just not who I am. Help

OP posts:
Aprilx · 13/09/2021 12:12

I don’t think there is any need to be truthful about this particular present with a new partner. In the future you can steer him closer towards your likes and dislikes and indeed tell him outright. But it isn’t something I would do right now. You don’t have to permanently wear this necklace.

woodfort · 13/09/2021 12:17

Don’t throw it back in his face but I guess work on (over the next few months until Christmas!) making sure he knows how you appreciate it so much as a ONE OFF. Maybe agree to do cheap and cheerful Christmas presents each with a budget or tell him you want a coat and agree to get each other coats etc.
It’s a bit weird he thinks you should be telling people how many carats it is Confused

MistyFrequencies · 13/09/2021 12:18

I had similar situation with my then very new boyfriend (now husband) who bought me the most hideous diamond necklace that was an obnoxious amount of diamonds shaped into a flower. It cost probably a years rent. I too don't wear jewelry really. I told him as gently as possible that I didn't like it and wouldn't wear it. He laughed, said he had no idea really what he was at so let his sister choose, gave me the receipt to return it and I got nice earrings instead, just plain daimond studs that I still wear.
I would tell him. How he takes it will tell you a lot.

MistyFrequencies · 13/09/2021 12:20

Yeah and weird that he wants you to gloat about carats etc. Is he insecure?

Balonzette · 13/09/2021 13:53

Of course don't say anything! Tjay would be beyond thoughtless and heartless. He'd be gutted. I can not believe you'd even consider saying anything?? The fact that he usually searches out cheaper stuff is even more of a reason not to say something. It must have been a big deal to splurge. Please do NOT say anything!!!

OoglyMoogly · 13/09/2021 13:57

I should tell everyone pretty much how many crts etc

Oh one of those men. "Look how much I really love my partner because of how much I spend on her" Hmm

Sn0tnose · 13/09/2021 14:11

I don’t think that he’s going to turn out to be a very nice man.

Umbra · 13/09/2021 14:40

I would wonder if the necklace really had diamonds and gold in it, given his usual spending habits.

DeathStare · 13/09/2021 14:49

I don't think you are compatible. He knows what he wants, and you're not it. You know what you want, and he's not it.

Original poster
Slugnlettuce · 13/09/2021 14:50

Thank you all for your replies. So many mixed responses. Maybe he is insecure I just think he wanted the day to be 'perfect' and so massively over thought it. He did say he didn't want to get me a bracelet or earings as I can't wear them in work and he wanted something I could wear a all the time. If I'm honest his ex partener only had the best of things from what he tells me she would frequently ask for designer goods or even holidays. I think he's just got so used to that he thought this would 'impress' me but sadly its not the way for me. I do think he maybe needs more time to he to know me and il do what @Aprilx and @woodfort have advised and steer him towards different things maybe even outright just say if ur going to get me something then get me.... I won't say anything but the necklace shall be going back in its box and worn not everyday as I believe he intended but when I feel comfortable or it happens to match my pyjamas GrinHalo

OP posts:
CatsArePeople · 13/09/2021 15:04

Well, by buying bulk deodorant he saves for something actually nice. But you should be truthful that this present makes you feel uncomfortable.

PinkFootstool · 13/09/2021 15:10

£400 diamond necklaces don't have multiple carats on them.... At best, it'll be 0.30ct. Is it hallmarked?

Is he having you on on the value of it?

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