AIBU - I have called the GP over 200 times this morning

[IAmADancer]

Just that. I need to get a blood test referral for menopause symptoms but I can’t get through. I started calling at 8am and have called over 200 times. It’s still engaged.

I know that if I call back at 10am when it’s quieter they will tell me there are no appointments and to call back tomorrow. Then you go through the same routine all over again. I just want to access basic care. Feeling very frustrated

Its not easy to get a new GP

I’m in catchment for two surgeries but apparently they are as bad as each other for appointments at the moment

@Rozziie
You asked them?
And what if their ‘mild eczema and ear wax’ had caused infections and/or deafness?

If they would just let us opt out and reduce our annual tax bill that would be something but to have to pay through the nose huge sums in tax and have basically no NHS care is a bit much.

@justfuckoffthelottayer

No offence but looks like you had only been trying an hour before freaking out. My gp won't do blood test to test for menopause if u have symptoms they give you hrt if you want it. You seem menopausal overtired and emotional but actually no although I don't know your medical history so as you rightly say can't really judge actually there are 10000000s of menopausal women going through same and no it is not urgent compared to people who have heart attacks cancer broken legs brain tumours babies going blue children passing out etc etc write a note pop it through the gp. Letterbox and wait for them to contact you or try ringing back later going mad that you can't get in phone queue after an hour of trying at their busiest time is a bit ott sorry NHS is in crisis and you will have to be patient

Do people with broken legs go to a GP or would a hospital that can actually treat a broken leg / heart attack or cancer be a better place? What a ridiculous comment.

A GP IS NOT EMERGENCY CARE

A GP IS NOT EMERGENCY CARE

So it’s not emergency care and there are no routine appointments and you get triaged out of appointments by the receptionists.

What pray is it?!

And you think everyone else does? Of course they bloody don't. I had an urgent appointment for my IBD during lockdown one and what did the other patients in the waiting area turn up with, at the peak of a pandemic? Complete nonsense like mild eczema and ear wax.

So your urgent appointment gave you plenty of time (and nerve) to look through the patients' records, did it? No? Thought not. Not sure how you would know all the details as, even if you asked, they may not have actually told you the truth

[quote Spidey66]@Rozziie
You asked them?
And what if their ‘mild eczema and ear wax’ had caused infections and/or deafness?[/quote]
They were talking about it in the waiting room.

And so what? What if OP's condition isn't menopause but something really sinister?

I cannot stand this British attitude of telling people they don't deserve to see a doctor because other people are sicker. Who are all these people you think are at death's door, exactly? If you have ongoing symptoms that are affecting your life, you need to see a doctor, not worry about what potential illnesses strangers might have to make them more deserving than you.

@justfuckoffthelottayer

No offence but looks like you had only been trying an hour before freaking out. My gp won't do blood test to test for menopause if u have symptoms they give you hrt if you want it. You seem menopausal overtired and emotional but actually no although I don't know your medical history so as you rightly say can't really judge actually there are 10000000s of menopausal women going through same and no it is not urgent compared to people who have heart attacks cancer broken legs brain tumours babies going blue children passing out etc etc write a note pop it through the gp. Letterbox and wait for them to contact you or try ringing back later going mad that you can't get in phone queue after an hour of trying at their busiest time is a bit ott sorry NHS is in crisis and you will have to be patient

This is a load of nonsense. Firstly, starting a paragraph (of nonsensical waffle, might I add) with “no offence”, then following it up with a dig at OP doesn’t mitigate what you’ve just said.

Every woman is different and OP has already said countless times she has another health condition which is why she needs a blood test. Just because you didn’t need one, does not mean OP doesn’t need one. Unless you have access to her medical notes and have studied them extensively before making such an assumption? Oh, wait. You clarified in your post you don’t.

Don’t pass off a woman as “menopausal overtired and emotional”, either. I highly doubt you’d say that to a man (obviously excluding the menopausal part). She is perfectly entitled to feel fed up without the old “women are over-emotional” trope. It’s boring hearing that in 2021.

Again, OP clarified it wasn’t “urgent” to the same degree as someone suffering with cancer but it still needs to be looked at. You aren’t a medical professional and it isn’t your job to triage OPs surgery. So please don’t attempt to.

Writing a letter isn’t a guarantee she’ll get an appointment. In fact, I think it is much more likely that the letter will be forgotten about, and for what feels like the millionth time:

OP can not ring back later. The GP closes the phone lines after appointments are filled. If she rings back later, she will be told to ring back tomorrow morning. And the cycle will begin again

So, no, it isn’t “OTT” that she tried to ring on Monday morning. And it won’t be OTT if she tries to ring on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Friday morning, either. It’s the only available time to ring her GP to make an appointment.

I actually despair. This forum literally has a “read all” function for OPs responses. If you had bothered to click on it you’d soon realise that your entire post was completely and utterly useless. You haven’t said a single thing that is new or revolutionary.

Let’s be real here- do you genuinely believe OP doesn’t know how her own surgery operates? One she has likely been with for several years? Really? She’s a grown woman for god’s sake.

@LukeEvansWife

And you think everyone else does? Of course they bloody don't. I had an urgent appointment for my IBD during lockdown one and what did the other patients in the waiting area turn up with, at the peak of a pandemic? Complete nonsense like mild eczema and ear wax.

So your urgent appointment gave you plenty of time (and nerve) to look through the patients' records, did it? No? Thought not. Not sure how you would know all the details as, even if you asked, they may not have actually told you the truth

Right, so instead of the obvious conclusion, you instead assume that they're there for something really serious and are actually at death's door? The doctor himself told me, when I apologised for taking up his time during the pandemic, that I should see what other people turn up with.

I absolutely despise this attitude that you don't deserve to see a GP unless you're nearly dead. It's vile and toxic and incredibly stupid. An ex of mine nearly died because he was worried about 'wasting time' or 'taking up an appointment' with back pain that was stopping him sleeping. He didn't think back pain warranted seeing a doctor urgently. His appendix had actually burst and the infection spread through his abdomen, and if he'd left it much longer, he wouldn't be alive today. He also ended up using far more NHS resources and money, because he needed an ambulance, two surgeries and 10 days in hospital. But hey, at least he didn't stop someone getting their ingrown toenail seen to, eh?

OP has no way of actually knowing the symptoms are menopause. They might be, or it might be something serious. That's why you go to the fucking doctor if you have anything that isn't very clearly something minor, not think 'well other people might need it more.'

I can't wait to get out of this country and live somewhere normal, where people aren't shamed about getting medical care they need and pay for.

@Rozziie

I agree with you, for what it's worth. What people want to to see their GP for is up to them. I've seen my GP (or a practice nurse) for eczema which has got infected and needed steroid creams/antibiotics and earwax which has also got infected and caused me severe pain and deafness. I don't use the service unnecessarily, I've gone down this road when self help or OTC medication is ineffective and/or making it worse.

@PizzaCrust
Still loving you.

I had an urgent appointment for my IBD during lockdown one and what did the other patients in the waiting area turn up with, at the peak of a pandemic? Complete nonsense like mild eczema and ear wax.

The doctor himself told me, when I apologised for taking up his time during the pandemic, that I should see what other people turn up with.

So was he having a general unprofessional moan or was he referring to the ‘other people in the waiting room?’ Because, ya know, the whole confidentiality thing…

Plus do you really think that people would get a face to face appointment for something minor?

And you think we shouldn’t wait until we are at death’s door and yet dismiss the comments about people maybe being more seriously ill than at first glance ?

Okay tjen

Just as an aside, but were basic comprehension skills just not taught to the majority of posters on this thread? You know, the whole “read all the information then come up with a response” thing?

It’s literally a skill that is taught to children. But the sheer amount of people who read about two sentences worth (if that) and then become overwhelmed with sheer joy at getting the opportunity to knock the OP down because she’s dated criticised a not-fit-for-purpose NHS is staggering.

It’s no wonder the OP has stopped replying to comments on this thread- answering the same pointless questions over and over again would be far more annoying than not being able to get a GP appointment after ringing in excess of 200 times, that’s for sure.

Or is the reality, which I expect it is, a lot of posters saw the word “menopause” and then decided that OPs appointment wasn’t needed. It’s only a woman’s problem, remember. All us women should be afraid to take up space and demand healthcare. We should all suffer in silence at home. Silly me.

Painful periods? Oh, just “cope with it”
Post partum complications? “Oh, it’s just the way it is”
Menopause? “It’s not urgent”

Yes, because men definitely get the same responses when they have a masculine health issue. Jesus wept.

I can't wait to get out of this country and live somewhere normal, where people aren't shamed about getting medical care they need and pay for

Your whole anecdote was about you and your doctor shaming people for getting medical care they need and pay for

I didn’t realise the menopause was now a serious illness. Yes I have went through it and still don't sleep, and had my share of it but never had a blood test or anything nor was I offered anything.
Perhaps there should be a menopause clinic like ante natal and that moring /afternoon could be set aside to deal with them .
Meanwhile I will try to live with my illnesses rather than clog up the system so that those with the menopause get the urgent care they need.
At the minute our drs are a nightmare and when you are ill you don't feel well enough to try and book an appointment, that is if ever you get past the receptionist who wrongly in my opinion needs to know what is wrong.
I will try self medicating my infection and learn to live with it. I don't have a high powered job so am not important to society so why waste an appointment that a more deserving menopausal would need .
No wonder I avoid using drs and try never to go to the hospital.

@LukeEvansWife

And you think we shouldn’t wait until we are at death’s door and yet dismiss the comments about people maybe being more seriously ill than at first glance ?

Okay tjen

The point is that it isn't for YOU to decide that other people need it more than OP. Anyone in healthcare will tell you lots of people turn up with trivial things - this isn't a controversial statement. It's not unprofessional to tell an IBD patient that they shouldn't be worried about having come in with continuous rectal bleeding and severe pain because other people are there for ingrown toenails and ear wax. It's factual.

The symptoms OP has described here more than warrant a GP appointment quite soon, and it's toxic to try to convince her that she shouldn't be taking up appointments this fictional faceless 'other people' might need. It isn't for you to decide that, it's for the triage staff and doctors to decide when the poor woman eventually manages to speak to someone.

It might be early menopause. It might also be ovarian cancer, or something else very serious. It's absolutely staggering to me that you think it's acceptable to tell someone they don't need an actual diagnosis and should just start medication for something they might have. I have lived in literal third world countries where people had better medical care, and far more common sense.

@girlmom21

I can't wait to get out of this country and live somewhere normal, where people aren't shamed about getting medical care they need and pay for

Your whole anecdote was about you and your doctor shaming people for getting medical care they need and pay for

Nobody was shaming anyone. The point was that the doctor told me off for apologising for taking up his time, thinking my issue was relatively minor, because it wasn't. That's the point.

@Cryalot2

I didn’t realise the menopause was now a serious illness. Yes I have went through it and still don't sleep, and had my share of it but never had a blood test or anything nor was I offered anything. Perhaps there should be a menopause clinic like ante natal and that moring /afternoon could be set aside to deal with them . Meanwhile I will try to live with my illnesses rather than clog up the system so that those with the menopause get the urgent care they need. At the minute our drs are a nightmare and when you are ill you don't feel well enough to try and book an appointment, that is if ever you get past the receptionist who wrongly in my opinion needs to know what is wrong. I will try self medicating my infection and learn to live with it. I don't have a high powered job so am not important to society so why waste an appointment that a more deserving menopausal would need . No wonder I avoid using drs and try never to go to the hospital.

Classic British attitude. "I had to suffer, so everyone else should too."

You have no idea what's wrong with OP. She doesn't know she's menopausal. She thinks she probably is because of her symptoms, but she doesn't know, hence the need for a test. My ex nearly died because his 'back pain' was actually a burst appendix and severe infection that nearly killed him.

This is why you go to the doctor.

The point is that it isn't for YOU to decide that other people need it more than OP. Anyone in healthcare will tell you lots of people turn up with trivial things - this isn't a controversial statement. It's not unprofessional to tell an IBD patient that they shouldn't be worried about having come in with continuous rectal bleeding and severe pain because other people are there for ingrown toenails and ear wax. It's factual.

Tbf its not for you to judge those other patients either. If it was that trivial, how did they get F2F appointment when most GPs were doing them only for emergencies? And it IS unprofessional and a breach of confidentiality for the doctor to discuss other people

I received a letter today from gp surgery asking me to call and book an appointment for 6wk post surgery checkup with doctor. I phoned to be told no advance appointments being made I'll have to phone when 6wks reached daily at 8am and 2pm until I successfully get a telephone appointment, where a doctor will then book me a face to face appointment. Absolute lunacy

you don't need an actual appointment yet but need a call back from a GP

A call back from a GP is EXACTLY what an appointment is at most surgeries, now! But with the added fun that they can't tell you when it will be.

"Some time today. S/he will only call once, so I'm afraid if you don't pick up, you will have to make another appointment tomorrow" is really no help if you work anywhere where you're not supposed to have your phone with you, or if you need to drive anywhere at some point in the day.

@LukeEvansWife

The point is that it isn't for YOU to decide that other people need it more than OP. Anyone in healthcare will tell you lots of people turn up with trivial things - this isn't a controversial statement. It's not unprofessional to tell an IBD patient that they shouldn't be worried about having come in with continuous rectal bleeding and severe pain because other people are there for ingrown toenails and ear wax. It's factual.

Tbf its not for you to judge those other patients either. If it was that trivial, how did they get F2F appointment when most GPs were doing them only for emergencies? And it IS unprofessional and a breach of confidentiality for the doctor to discuss other people

Because maybe nobody else had called to make an appointment, thinking their symptoms weren't serious enough? It was very quiet at the time. The doctor can say whatever the fuck he likes about people in general, without naming them or giving me specifics. If you think that's any kind of confidentiality breach, you clearly don't understand life.

The point is, so many people have this idea that you have to be at death's door to see a GP. Why? It's supposed to be for things exactly like OP is describing. If you're at death's door you go to A&E.

Imagine how you'd feel if OP posted here a few months from now about a cancer diagnosis and wrote that if she'd been seen to faster, it might not be so bad? Wouldn't you feel horrible that you'd shamed her for wanting to see a doctor and not just taken some medication for a condition she might or might not have?

Oh wait, it's Mumsnet.

@PizzaCrust, I don't disagree with you about the misogyny that appears to be absolutely endemic on AIBU these days. Thank goodness there's a separate Menopause board on MN.

As for the apparent lack of comprehension skills, I wonder if it's to do with more and more posters relying on phones and the app, particularly those who trawl AIBU? I can't imagine the teeny screens and lack of features make for ease of constructive, thoughtful contributions.

Mind you, the OP is winning the poll by miles

[quote SpindleWhorl]@PizzaCrust, I don't disagree with you about the misogyny that appears to be absolutely endemic on AIBU these days. Thank goodness there's a separate Menopause board on MN.

As for the apparent lack of comprehension skills, I wonder if it's to do with more and more posters relying on phones and the app, particularly those who trawl AIBU? I can't imagine the teeny screens and lack of features make for ease of constructive, thoughtful contributions.

Mind you, the OP is winning the poll by miles [/quote]
With women like these, who needs men to bash us? It's depressing.