"Are you OK?" messages

[ImFree2doasiwant]

I have regular messenger contact with close family members. I do respond straight away at times, but not always. I am attempting to scale back on my phone usage, and have taken to putting it away while I'm working/getting on with things around the house.

This has resulted in 2 family members in particular, sending "are you OK? " messages if I don't immediately respond, including "I was worried" when I didnt read or reply to a message for an hour and half.

Aibu in feeling really bloody annoyed about this? Why would I not be ok? It's not like I'm reading and ignoring them. They know when I work, they know when I have a chikd free day and try to get on with stuff/go out for a bit.

I don't know if I'm being over sensitive.

@LBirch02 "oh fuck off!" Is my internal response when I see it.

I think also, it kind of demands an explanation.

Are you OK?

Yes, sorry I was doing x,y,z.

Exactly OP - these sort of messages put you on the back foot and make you feel you have to explain yourself when you shouldn’t have to!!

Can you set an auto reply that says you're away from your phone and you'll reply when convenient?

Or put on do not disturb. It might be annoying but if people don't know you've made these changes, how are they supposed to know?

YANBU.
I have an acquaintance who sends these messages all the time (or used to until I started doing it back to him). They'd escalate to "Are you getting these messages?"
When I started responding to him the same way, he got really shirty.
We don't message each other at all now. Win win!
I put my phone on silent from 5pm until 9am the next morning. I also put my phone on charge in a distant room. I have guests booking holidays at midnight and later and wanting answers.

You're just going to have to make a practice of never replying till it's convenient to you and ignoring the "Are you OK" messages. Eventually they'll work it out.

I had a thread recently about a friend who does this, it drives me bonkers and makes me feel like she thinks I have nothing better to do than respond to her messages immediately.
I have to really stop myself from writing something snarky to her.

I had to explain to my mum that email, messages, social media and attempts to video chat should not to be treated as door bells. They are to get to when we have the time, space and energy.

Since then she understands why sometimes I don’t respond immediately and has also stopped responding immediately to others and says it’s been a bit of a game changer for her and no longer ‘loses the day’ over messages. I work so not an option for me

@CandyLeBonBon they do know, because I've told them.

I think just ignoring is probably the best bet from now. After muttering to myself.

[quote ImFree2doasiwant]@CandyLeBonBon they do know, because I've told them.

I think just ignoring is probably the best bet from now. After muttering to myself.[/quote]
Did you try the do not disturb option?

I havent, I didn't know I could do that on messenger to be honest. And I will admit, I dont really want to. I'm not consciously ignoring people , just not glued to my phone so much.

@ImFree2doasiwant

I havent, I didn't know I could do that on messenger to be honest. And I will admit, I dont really want to. I'm not consciously ignoring people , just not glued to my phone so much.

Fair enough. I think you can set it up with a kind of 'out of office reply' type thing on an iPhone. It is a bit draining though. I feel your pain!

Thank you - the out of office type thing would work when I'm at work at least. If I was at home, and thinking 'I won't look at my phone for 2 hours ' then it would be useful but that's not the case, I'm just becoming less reliant on having the bloody phone in my hand!