Moving Onwards & Upwards?!

[AlmostThereMaybe]

Thoughts please!

I am in a relationship and together we could buy something closer to my dream house than the small one that I scrimped and saved for years to buy. However, due to circumstances outside of my control, which thankfully cannot arise again, I once nearly had to sell - it was horrible and I am now nervous about giving up the security of owning my own home and having control of keeping a roof over my head. This also means that I want to keep sole ownership of my place. The other person is not in as financially as strong a position as I currently am, and is more of a spender than I am, so I’m also worried that I would be taking on more responsibility with managing money if we buy somewhere together.

YABU - you are being selfish / letting fear hold you back from going for something you’d like

YANBU - you are being sensible / not letting a relationship sway you from the course that has got you where you are

You know the answer, the latter. Good choice. Stick to your guns.

What would be the split in terms of deposit and mortgage payments between the two of you?

I would ring fence / protect my share.

@takehomepay

What would be the split in terms of deposit and mortgage payments between the two of you?

I would ring fence / protect my share.

75:25 on deposit and mortgage, with me funding the larger share. Yes, it would be wise to protect my share.

I know that people do, but personally I would not entangle myself financially with anyone that I am not married to.

How long have you been together and are you planning g marriage etc- this would determine my approach

I think at least ring fence your assets if you do buy together, but the bigger question is about your different attitudes to money. I'm not sure relationships work well in this case.

I wouldn't tangle myself financially with a big spender.

Can you say more about this other persons spending habits - is that for example why they are in a worse financial situation? Do they earn a lot less?

@Namechanger0800

How long have you been together and are you planning g marriage etc- this would determine my approach

A few years, and I don’t have any desire to marry (for various reasons).

They earn quite a bit less and while they do save now, they are way more impulsive with buying things than I am.

@Joystir59

I think at least ring fence your assets if you do buy together, but the bigger question is about your different attitudes to money. I'm not sure relationships work well in this case.

I think this may be the root of my dilemma! In previous relationships I’ve never felt like anyone has had designs on my income, whereas in this one the other person has always seen both our earnings as one pot that they have equal say on, and frequently says we can afford this and that when I wouldn’t think it.

God definitely not then. If they’re like that now what will they be like if you owned a house together? Sounds like essentially you’d be subsidising a lifestyle they can’t afford and sounds like they can’t afford the one they have now.