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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a bit creeped out by our neighbours?

26 replies

carlycurly · 12/09/2021 17:06

To set the scene, the parents from the family next door don't acknowledge us at all, and haven't done since they moved in during the night a few months ago. I smile or say hello if I pass them in the street with no expectation of a response.

The younger kids are unbelievably noisy in the garden. Epic tantrums, loud ball games, screaming and bouncing on the trampoline until it gets too dark to see. Their ages are 7-15 ish. The eldest is the only one who's ever spoken to us and, to be fair, was polite when I once asked them to try and avoid kicking their hard ball against our fence as it's chipping it.

I can live with all of that, thanks to noise cancelling headphones in the garden and the knowledge from another neighbour that they're planning to relocate shortly. The rest of the road is great. Our houses are thankfully detached. My own dcs are older and not bothered about engaging with them.

Today I was pruning at the end of our garden, which is about 40 ft long and a bit jungle-like at the end. There I found a ladder, which is not ours, propped up against our side of the shared fence. I've never seen it before. It was not there earlier this year. It looks like it's originally come from some play equipment.
I am friends with our previous neighbour so I pinged them a message just to check if they recognised it. Nope. I can't imagine the people who adjoin us both behind the back fences would have put it there as they'd have absolutely no reason to.

There's no real explanation other than next door have put it there in order to access their garden from ours. We own the fence so it's smooth and unclimbable on our side.

Given they don't acknowledge us, and even if they did, surely this is just creepy and intrusive? Have now removed the ladder, locked it in my garage and posted a note through their door as they've been out all day. If it is theirs, It won't be returned without an explanation or I'll be tipping it later in the week.

OP posts:
FairFuming · 12/09/2021 17:10

Its probably been put there by the kids so they can retrieve balls or whatever they loose in your garden. Doesn't make it ok though.

SirChenjins · 12/09/2021 17:13

Sounds like the kids did it for when they’re retrieving their balls and forgot to take it back over.

Alleycat02 · 12/09/2021 17:13

You totally should just take it to the tip without having left a note for them!

carlycurly · 12/09/2021 17:14

Yes, we wondered if the parents were even aware. Guess they will be now. If it prompts a degree of supervision over what the kids are doing it will be a win.

OP posts:
SirChenjins · 12/09/2021 17:16

I’m not sure I’d be put supervising kids of that age tbh.

carlycurly · 12/09/2021 17:22

No, but if yours were outside screaming obscenities and smashing balls against the fence wouldn't you just lean out and have a word for the sake of the neighbours? I would, and mine are older teens.

There have been times where I've looked out the window just to check nobody is seriously injured, the crying and general noise level gets that high.

OP posts:
Butteredtoast55 · 12/09/2021 18:04

That sounds weird. Maybe now you have sorted the jungle bit of the garden out and moved the ladder away from the fence they won't have the cheek to access your garden, and the note through the door makes it clear you are on to them - assuming it IS them. If not, they are going to think you are paranoid Grin
If the parents don't know the children have done this they are probably going to be mortified.
But do tell us more about them moving during the night. That is even weirder!

Geamhradh · 12/09/2021 18:07

Try asking if its theirs?

Porcupineintherough · 12/09/2021 18:14

I'm not sure this is the big mystery you are making it out to be..

SirChenjins · 12/09/2021 19:09

@carlycurly

No, but if yours were outside screaming obscenities and smashing balls against the fence wouldn't you just lean out and have a word for the sake of the neighbours? I would, and mine are older teens.

There have been times where I've looked out the window just to check nobody is seriously injured, the crying and general noise level gets that high.

Oh definitely - I don’t allow mine to scream, sweat or shout like that - I just meant that I wouldn’t supervise them at that age so wouldn’t know if they’d decided to improvise and use a ladder to get a ball back.
Doggiedementia · 12/09/2021 19:16

I wouldn’t categorise that as creepy. It’ll have been the kids.

Buttercup54321 · 12/09/2021 19:25

I wouldnt have put a note through the door though.

FTEngineerM · 12/09/2021 19:27

To be fair we pulled some tricks to get our ball back when we were kids.
One time I distracted the grumpy neighbour in the front with chat about how loud our music was whilst they went round the back and got the ball.

It deffo sounds like the kids.

toughdaay · 12/09/2021 20:56

Not sure it's creepy, it seems obvious to me it's the kids to get their ball back.

toughdaay · 12/09/2021 20:58

@carlycurly

Yes, we wondered if the parents were even aware. Guess they will be now. If it prompts a degree of supervision over what the kids are doing it will be a win.
Doubt they're going to supervise a 15 year old to be honest.
LastSummerHere · 12/09/2021 21:27

It's a different situation but you reminded me OP..we have a huge unseen part of our garden - around half an acre - that is on the opposite side of barns and outhouses and sheds. Before summer I went into it to it to tidy it up and I saw a little makeshift bridge from the garden that backs onto mine, crossing over a ditch. I know there is a little girl in that house and tbh, I didn't mind at all. Let her play, I thought.

Bluntness100 · 12/09/2021 21:29

You seem to be being very dramatic over what is likely a ladder to help the kids get their balls back. Do you often come over all over dramatic?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 12/09/2021 21:32

I can't imagine the people who adjoin us both behind the back fences would have put it there as they'd have absolutely no reason to

Well, nor do your next door neighbours but that hasn't stopped you assuming its them.

Bluntness100 · 12/09/2021 21:33

I have to say when you get all extreme over something like this it does make me wonder if yoire also being extreme over the noise and it’s just normal kids playing noise.

And who supervises a fifteen year old in the garden?

I have to be honest, this is all a bit weird.

LookAtMoiPloise · 12/09/2021 21:38

If your neighbours don't even speak to you, I doubt they'd care enough to spy on you.

OneTC · 12/09/2021 21:39

My first, maybe second, thought would be someone left it there so they could later use it to rob your/neighbours house

Porcupineintherough · 12/09/2021 21:42

I think its kind of nice they used a ladder we used to just climb over or, depending on the design of fence, loosen some boards so we could just slip through.

HerRoyalRisesAgain · 12/09/2021 21:46

I was reading this thinking they were vampires, hence moving in in the middle of the night but that doesn't explain the ladders.

Bootikin · 12/09/2021 21:56

They sound like utter shits but it’s bloody odd that your garden is only 40 ft long and you don’t know how long the ladder has been there. That is just bizarre. Why on earth aren’t you aware of something as significant as that breaching the security of your frankly very small garden? Apart from the neighbours being utter wankers, surely everyone should be checking their own garden every few days at least in summer. That’s the odd aspect.

VenusTiger · 12/09/2021 21:58

Who bought the house OP? did you ask your former neighbour friends?
Sounds like they're in 'protection housing' if they're moving in the middle of the night and don't interact - esp. if they know they don't need to make friends if they're moving again soon to somewhere permanent.