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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Small weddings - not that uncommon?

23 replies

AnonAnom940 · 11/09/2021 21:40

E.g. ceremony only with parents and siblings and couple of friends, say up to 20 guests max. May or may not be a reception with similar number of guests.

YABU - uncommon / unusual
YANBU - people do have small weddings

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 11/09/2021 21:42

Course they’re not. Loads of us had them years ago.

Sparklingbrook · 11/09/2021 21:45

18 guests at ours twenty years or so ago, but the ones I attended were much bigger. I have never been to one as small as ours.

What's your AIBU about?

Original poster
AnonAnom940 · 11/09/2021 21:45

This is what I thought. My parents wedding was small. Registry office, reception back at their small flat. But that was ~50 years ago.
Was discussing weddings with a friend and that I'd want a small one. They said that it was rather unusual

OP posts:
SwayingInTime · 11/09/2021 21:47

Not these days!

SwayingInTime · 11/09/2021 21:47

I mean with COVID it was necessary for some but now I think people are seeing how lovely they can be.

stormelf · 11/09/2021 21:48

We had 20 guests to the ceremony, an additional 15 to the meal and then more for evening party. This was 7 years ago and I wouldn't change it. The ceremony was so nice with oh few people there

XenoBitch · 11/09/2021 21:49

I have known of many people to have the bare minimum of 2 witnesses. They didn't want a wedding, they just wanted to get married.
That sort of arrangement would suit me fine. I hate being the centre of attention, so any sort of wedding, 20 people or 100, would mortify me.

Echobelly · 11/09/2021 21:51

Yes, small weddings are very common, for various reasons: cost, not wanting fuss, destination wedding, family politics making it easier to have a small, close group, one or both of couple anxious of being centre of attention or having ill health that makes big gatherings punishing and so on.

Original poster
AnonAnom940 · 11/09/2021 21:54

Was beginning to doubt myself with her insistence that it was unusual. I've not actually been to a small wedding. All I've been to have been quite large.

OP posts:
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 11/09/2021 21:57

I love a small wedding. Hate the whole “big day” style ones.

Kittybelle123 · 11/09/2021 21:58

We were married 7 years ago. 16 guests to ceremony and meal afterwards and wouldn't change a thingSmile A very relaxed yet special day Smile

cheninblanc · 11/09/2021 21:59

Ours was just that, parents, siblings and 3 friends plus our children. It was 20 people and lovely

Tulips15 · 11/09/2021 22:01

My parents eloped 37yrs ago, just them and 2 strangers for witnesses!
I love my parents story and I would do similar and just have a party at later date!

SylvanasWindrunner · 11/09/2021 22:05

We got married a couple of years ago and had 10 guests! It was lovely Smile

BatShitBitchChops · 11/09/2021 22:08

We just had our parents and kids. Not even siblings as we are one of 4 and 5 and all married with several kids! It was lovely.

Hercisback · 11/09/2021 22:10

The reason not many people have been to small weddings is because not many people are invited to them.

Covid has made them popular again.

Original poster
AnonAnom940 · 11/09/2021 22:12

@Hercisback

The reason not many people have been to small weddings is because not many people are invited to them.

Covid has made them popular again.

This is a very good point!
OP posts:
Longdistance · 11/09/2021 22:12

I was at a wedding and there was 27 guests. Everyone was invited to the main registry office, do and evening. I was lovely. Then a bbq next day. Really informal and relaxed.

firstimemamma · 11/09/2021 22:15

We had a micro wedding. 18 of us including dh, our toddler ds and I. Just a registry office, nice photos then off to a restaurant for a lovely 3 course meal. Perfect for us and we wouldn't have changed it or done something more lavish for the world. Neither of us like a lot of attention or are fussed about dancing. We also didn't like the idea of spending a fortune.

WillaWeatherspoon · 11/09/2021 22:15

15 guests at ours and it was perfect! Didn't cost a fortune, and was so relaxed and personal to us. Some people suggested beforehand that I'd really regret not having my 'day as a princess' with the massive do but honestly I'd have hated that and I haven't for a second regretted our small wedding.

proudwomansexmatters · 11/09/2021 23:04

25 at our wedding last year. It was wonderful. If the original wedding had gone ahead it would've been 75 people. I'll be honest. I'm glad it was cancelled and we could only have limited numbers.

abstractprojection · 12/09/2021 19:08

I’m getting married next week and it will be around 20 people.

The current limit here for an outdoor wedding is 50, but I wanted to keep it to 20 encase restrictions tighten back up

But to be honest this is more of an excuse covid or not I prefer to have a smaller wedding and keep both the cost and the stress down and also just enjoy the day more (less guests to worry about)

abstractprojection · 12/09/2021 19:13

@SwayingInTime

I mean with COVID it was necessary for some but now I think people are seeing how lovely they can be.
I think so too, lovely hearing about people’s nice days
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