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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was my Ds in the wrong

19 replies

SuzieCath · 11/09/2021 21:22

So this evening my son went to the park to play football with his mates. There were a group of girls there that they all knew from school. One of the girls was an ex girlfriend of my DS friends . This girl called my son over so he went to see what she wanted, the girl proceeded to grab his hair and punch him several times in the head, so my son grabbed her and the her to the floor. She didn't let go of his hair despite my son telling her too several times. Another friend of my DS event stepped in to tear her hands off him. This girl then went home sobbing after saying my son hurt her. AmBU to think that what he did was self defence, whether you are a boy or girl you don't invade someone's personal space and as she threw a punch at him she is in the wrong. My DS is worried about the consequences of his actions and as they go to the same school, is concerned about more happening.

OP posts:

Emerald4512 · 11/09/2021 21:25

What a nasty, vile girl. Get rid of gender, she threw the first punch and he was defending himself. Maybe she will learn a lesson from this.

EmeraldShamrock · 11/09/2021 21:26

If it happened like that it was self defence.
She is lucky it didn't get serious, many boys would punch her back very hard.

Summersun2020 · 11/09/2021 21:26

Wow! Obviously there’s two sides to every story but if your sons side is accurate then he was totally within his rights to defend himself. How old are they? I would honestly be contacting the police.

Hankunamatata · 11/09/2021 21:32

id be ringing police and make a statement now

TractorAndHeadphones · 11/09/2021 21:57

Your Ds was in the right, ring the police now!

toocold54 · 11/09/2021 22:17

People have every right to defend themselves so your son wasn’t in the wrong at all.

I would want to speak to his friends to make sure you have the full story first as I’m sure her parents will be contacting the school or police.

BoPeepCantFindHerFucks · 11/09/2021 22:22

My Ds has asked previously if he's allowed to hit a girl if she hits him first.
I just think it's sad tbh
If your ds's version is accurate then the girl is obviously in the wrong. I don't like any type of violence but I do believe in defending yourself.
I've told my dc that I'd rather they don't throw the first punch (consequences etc) but if someone hits you then you absolutely defend yourself

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 11/09/2021 22:23

I am being cynical here but unless you were abke to view CCTV of it happening you don't know what went on. He could be telling you a particular version of events that might not chime with reality.

Having said that, if he is telling the absolute truth then he should report the whole incident to police as he has been assaulted. Hope he's OK and there are no further problems with this girl.

Tlollj · 11/09/2021 22:28

I’d call the police and report this assault. Definitely.

3scape · 11/09/2021 22:33

Its all going to be down to what the others there saw happen and then what they are prepared to say happened in order to keep someone sweet.

It sounds horrifically violent and perhaps unsafe to be out.

GraceAnatomy · 11/09/2021 22:35

Self defence for sure. Is your son OK?

Aquamarine1029 · 11/09/2021 22:39

You are very foolish if you don't get ahead of this and file a police report.

Bonheurdupasse · 11/09/2021 22:41

Go to the police OP.

Otherwise girl / girl’s parents will and say your DS attacked her.

paulhollywoodshairgel · 11/09/2021 22:46

If anyone make or female had a grip on his hair and wouldn't let go he had every right to defend himself. I'm with the other posters. Get in touch with the police and get your son to find out if anyone filmed it. That seems to happen a lot these days

bookh · 11/09/2021 22:47

Police. How old are they?

He takes the correct action and reports it as an assault.

hartof · 11/09/2021 22:49

I would also be ringing the police. How awful.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 11/09/2021 22:49

I'd be taking him to the police and reporting her for assault

Microwaveableteapot · 12/09/2021 00:03

So simply for being a mate of her ex this girl violently assaulted him? I guess it could happen, but I'd be really sure you're not being sold 'crazy ex-girlfriend' nonsense first. Impressed she was able to maintain a grasp of his hair whilst she was being thrown to thr ground though, is it particularly long?

Original poster

SuzieCath · 12/09/2021 21:47

Thank you for all your comments. I have spoken to several of my sons friends, a few individually who all give the same account as my son. Said girl had no reason to attack him we have heard through several people the girls family were threatening to pay us a visit but no one has graced our door step, obviously they have slept on it and realised they had no grounds to try and defend such behaviour. They are 13 years old and while hormobrd are running wild there is no excuse for such vile behaviour. I am not saying my son is an angle but am really proud of the way he handled the situation because i know if that was a bit he would have seen red and punched right back. I haven't involved the police at this time but should further issues occur I will most definitely.

OP posts:

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